LIFESTYLE BRAND GOOP, AND GWYNETH PALTROW, THE

WELLNESSMONGER FAMOUS FOR HER $66 JADE VAGINA EGGS, "STICKERS

THAT PROMOTE HEALING" FOR $120, AND THIS $435 ANTI-AGING MASK

MEANT TO REDUCE WRINKLES AND APPROPRIATE FOR MOST ORGIES.

THEIR LATEST PRODUCT TAKING THE INTERNET BY STORM IS A CANDLE

ENTITLED "THIS SMELLS LIKE MY VAGINA."

OKAY.

I HAVE QUESTIONS.

AND I'M NOT SURE HOW TO ASK ANY OF THEM, BUT LET'S START WITH

"WHOSE?" ( LAUGHTER )

GWYNETH'S?

BECAUSE I'LL BUY THE EGG, BUT I JUST WANNA BE FRIENDS.

THIS IS THE MOST TALKED-ABOUT ITEM PUT OUT BY AN OSCAR WINNER

SINCE JACK LEMMON'S "THIS AIR FRESHENER LOOKS LIKE MY PENIS".

( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

YEAH, JACK LEMMON!

IRONICALLY NOT LEMON SCENTED.

( PIANO RIFF ) ( APPLAUSE )

NATURALLY, THIS THING COST, $75 AND WAS IMMEDIATELY SOLD OUT.

( LAUGHTER ) UNTIL THEY RE-STOCK, YOU'LL JUST

HAVE TO SETTLE FOR "THIS CANDLE SMELLS LIKE A PINE TREE'S ASS."

( LAUGHTER ) BUT THAT'S WHAT I LOVE ABOUT

GOOPETH!

SHE'S ALWAYS THINKING, ALWAYS MOVING, NEVER SITTING STILL.

PARTLY BECAUSE SITTING IS TOUGH WITH THAT MANY PRODUCTS IN

THE OL' GOOP CHUTE.

( LAUGHTER ) THAT'S WHY NETFLIX JUST

ANNOUNCED A GOOPY NEW TV SHOW, TWEETING, "GWYNETH PALTROW

WELCOMES YOU TO THE GOOP LAB!" I DON'T GET WHAT SHE'S DOING

INSIDE THOSE CONCENTRIC CROSS-SECTIONS OF A FOOTBALL.

( LAUGHTER ) THE NEW SHOW EXPLORES EVERYTHING

THAT'S TOO CRAZY FOR THE INTERNET.

>> WHAT HAPPENS IN A WORKSHOP?" >> EVERYONE GETS OFF.

>> WHAT THE (BLEEP) ARE YOU DOING TO PEOPLE?

>> WHAT WE TRY TO DO AT GOOP IS EXPLORE IDEAS THAT MAY SEEM OUT

THERE OR-- TOO SCARY.

>> STEPHEN: NOTHING SCARY ABOUT A THOUSAND PINS IN YOUR FACE.

I SAW IT YEARS AGO IN THAT POPULAR WELLNESS DOCUMENTARY

"HELLRAISER."

( LAUGHTER ) "WELCOME TO THE PIT OF ENDLESS

TORMENT.

HELP YOURSELF TO SOME CUCUMBER WATER."

( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )

( PIANO RIFF ) "THE GOOP LAB" WILL INTRODUCE US

TO THE MOST GROUNDBREAKING SCIENTIF-ISH WELLNESS

TECHNIQUES.

>> I... HAD AN EXORCISM.

>> OH, WOOOOOW.

>> I WENT THROUGH YEARS OF THERAPY IN ABOUT FIVE HOURS.

I STARTED TO FEEL, LIKE A PANIC ATTACK COMING ON.

SHE KNEW SOMETHING THAT MY HUSBAND DIDN'T EVEN KNOW.

>> YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE VULVA.

>> Stephen: OKAY -- ( LAUGHTER )

-- FOR THE RECORD, THAT'S NOT WELLNESS THERAPY.

SHE'S MAKING CANDLES.

( LAUGHTER ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

>> Jon: OH, AAAHHH!

AAAHHH!

AAAHHH!

AAAHHH!

( PIANO RIFF ) >> Stephen: POINT IS, GOOP LAB

PROMISES ONE THING -- >> THIS IS DANGEROUS.

>> IT'S UNREGULATED.

>> SHOULD I BE SCARED?

WE'RE HERE ONE TIME, ONE LIFE, HOW CAN WE REALLY MILK THE

(BLEEP) OUT OF THIS?" >> STEPHEN: NOW, IF YOU CYNICS

THINK "THE GOOP LAB" IS A CASH GRAB THAT EXPLOITS PEOPLE'S FEAR

OF AGING AND SACRIFICES THEIR SAFETY TO PEDDLE

PSEUDO-SCIENTIFIC, NEW-AGEY GARBAGE... WELL-SPOTTED.

( LAUGHTER ) AND DADDY WANTS IN!

>> Jon: HA HA!

OH, MY!

( PIANO RIFF ) ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )

THAT'S WHERE MY OWN HIGH-END LIFESTYLE BRAND, COVETTON HOUSE,

COMES IN.

WE'RE LAUNCHING A NEW TELEVISION SHOW CALLED "COVETTON YURT."

( LAUGHTER ) ( CALMING MUSIC )

>> BAROQUE SIMPLICITY, SHABBY ELEGANCE, GIVE ME MONEY.

COVETTON HOUSE.

>> Stephen: NAMASTE.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WELCOME TO "COVETTON YURT."

IN THE YURT, WE EXPLORE IDEAS THAT ARE TOO "OUT THERE" OR "TOO

SCARY" FOR SCIENCE.

ARE YOU DANGEROUS ENOUGH TO FIND OUT IF THIS $8,000 BOTTLE OF

UNPASTEURIZED GIRAFFE MILK WILL ALLEVIATE YOUR ANXIETY?

WE'VE ONLY GOT ONE GIRAFFE.

LET'S MILK THE (BLEEP) OUT OF HER.

( LAUGHTER ) AND IS THIS MAN A PSYCHIC WHO

CAN SUMMON AN INCUBUS TO STIMULATE YOUR G-SPOT, OR IS HE

A VAGRANT I CAUGHT STEALING MY MAIL AND GAVE HIM A SANDWICH TO

POSE FOR THIS PHOTO?

THE ANSWER IS IN THE YURT.

AND SO IS HE.

HE REALLY NEEDS A PLACE TO CRASH.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH JOE SCARBOROUGH AND MIKA BRZEZINSKI!