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  • LOTS TO TALK ABOUT IN THE NEWS.

  • LET'S GET RIGHT INTO IT.

  • OF COURSE TOMORROW IS ANOTHER BIG PRIMARY DAY.

  • WITH DEMOCRATS IN SIX STATES GOING TO THE POLLS TO PICK THEIR

  • FAVORITE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE.

  • 57BD ACCORDING TO EXPERTS, JOE BIDEN COULD EFFECTIVELY LOCK UP

  • THE NOMINATION WITH A WIN OVER BERNIE SANDERS IN MICHIGAN.

  • BUT BERN'S NOT GOING TO GO QUIETLY.

  • I MEAN THAT ISN'T A SHOCK, HE'S NEVER DONE ANYTHING QUIETLY.

  • (LAUGHTER) BUT HE'S NOT, DEMOCRATIC

  • INSIDERS SAY JOE BIDEN CAN EFFECTIVELY END THE PRIMARY WITH

  • A WIN IN MICHIGAN.

  • WHEN HE HEARD THAT, BIDEN SAID I'M ON IT AND HEADED STRAIGHT TO

  • MONTANA.

  • MEANWHILE TENSION BETWEEN THE THE TWO CANDIDATES IS HIGH.

  • THE BERNIE SANDERS CAMPAIGN HAS ACCUSED JOE BIDEN'S CAMPAIGN OF

  • TRYING TO CHANGE THE UPCOMING DEBATE FORE MAT FROM A STANDING

  • DEBATE TO A SEATED ONE.

  • NEVER A GREAT SIGN WHEN THE TOP TWO DEMOCRATIC PRESIDENTIAL

  • CANDIDATES ARE ARGUING OVER WHICH ONE OF THEM IS YOUNG AND

  • VIBRANT ENOUGH TO STAND UP FOR TWO HOURS.

  • BUT THIS IS A HUGE BLOW TO BERNIE SANDERS.

  • AS WE ALL KNOW, HE WAVES HIS ARMS CONSTANTLY WHEN HE TALKS.

  • BUT IF YOU DO THAT WHEN ARE YOU SITTING DOWN IT JUST LOOKS LIKE

  • YOU'RE ON A ROLLER COASTER.

  • MEDICARE FOR ALL!

  • I DON'T KNOW IF THIS ANOTHER MAT IS-- FORE MAT IS THE BEST IDEA.

  • UNFORTUNATELY WHEN THESE TWO SIT NEXT TO EACH OTHER BERNIE AND

  • BIDEN JUST LOOK LIKE THEY'RE ABOUT TO HECKLE THE MUPPET SHOW.

  • (LAUGHTER) WHILE ALL OF THIS IS GOING ON

  • PRESIDENT TRUMP HAS HAD HIS HANDS FULL DEALING WITH THE

  • CORONAVIRUS OUTBREAK.

  • ON FRIDAY HE WAS TOURING THE CENTERS FOR DEASE CONTROL IN

  • ATLANTA WHERE HE WAITED-- WASTED NO TIME FOCUSING ONTHE ISSUE AT

  • HAND.

  • I'M KIDDING.

  • HE IMMEDIATELY STARTED BRAGGING.

  • >> I REALLY GET IT.

  • THEY'RE SURPRISED I UNDERSTAND IT EVERY ONE OF THESE DOCTORS

  • SAY HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT THIS, MAYBE I HAVE A

  • NATURAL ABILITY.

  • MAYBE I SHOULD HAVE DONE THAT INSTEAD OF RUNNING FOR

  • PRESIDENT.

  • >> James: NOW YOU THINK OF THAT?

  • NOW YOU THINK OF-- ALTHOUGH THE PHRASE PEOPLE ARE REALLY

  • SURPRISED, I UNDERSTAND THIS STUFF, CAN APPLY TO PRETTY MUCH

  • ANYTHING DONALD TRUMP HAS THE ABILITY TO GRASP.

  • TRUMP SAYS HE HAS A NATURAL ABILITY TO UNDERSTAND THE

  • CORONAVIRUS.

  • WELL, LET'S SEE, NOBODY LIKES IT IT.

  • HALF THE WORLD IS AFRAID OF IT IT.

  • ICAN SEE WHY HE CAN RELATE.

  • I WANT TO GO OUT ON A LIMB HERE AND SAY IT'S PROBABLY JUST

  • EASIER FOR THE DOCTORS TO SAY HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH ABOUT

  • THIS, THAN IT IS FOR THEM TO KEEP GOING NO, SIR, IT HAS

  • NOTHING TO DO WITH MEXICAN BEER.

  • (LAUGHTER) IN A RELATED STORY, APPARENTLY

  • SOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO PROTECT THEMSELVES THEMSELVES FR

  • BY CREATING THEIR OWN HOMEMADE HAND SANITIZER OUT OF LIQUOR.

  • IN RESPONSE THE VODKA BRANDERS TITOS WENT TO TWIT TORE TELL

  • PEOPLE THAT ITS VODKA IS NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO KILL GERMS.

  • OF COURSE NOT.

  • IF VODKA WAS A SANITIZER EVERY MEMBER OF OUR BABD WOULD LIVE

  • FOREVER.

  • TITOS SAYS THE VODKA ISN'T STRONG ENOUGH TO KILL GERMS,

  • IT'S JUST STRONG ENOUGH TO MAKE YOU FORGET THAT THIS GUY IS IN

  • CLARG OF KEEPING ALL OF US HEALTHY.

  • AND FINALLY A SEMITRUCK IN AUSTRALIA CARRYING HUNDREDS OF

  • ROLLS OF TOILET PAPER ACCIDENTALLY CAUGHT ON FIRE,

  • RESULTING IN THE TOILET PAPER SHIPMENT BURNING FOR FOUR HOURS.

  • HONESTLY, I JUST THINK THE TOILET PAPER FOUND OUT WHAT WAS

  • GOING TO HAPPEN TO IT AND WAS LIKE-- THEY'RE LIKE GUYS, HE GOT

  • TO SET OURSELVES ON FIRE!

  • (APPLAUSE) A SEMITRAILER FULL OF TOILET

  • PAPER ERUPTED INTO FLAMES ON A HIGHWAY.

  • IT'S TOO BAD, BECAUSE UP UNTIL THEN THE TOILET PAPER WAS REALLY

  • ON A ROLL.

  • THANK YOU.

  • DON'T CLAP BECAUSE WE'VE GOT LIKE A HUNDRED OF THEM.

  • A FOUR-HOUR TOILET PAPER FIRE.

  • IF THAT SOUNDS FAMILIAR, THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S ALSO DEL TACO'S NEW

  • ADVERTISING SLOGAN.

LOTS TO TALK ABOUT IN THE NEWS.

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拜登與伯尼就辯論時站立問題展開辯論 (Biden and Bernie Debate Over Standing During Debating)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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