come closer yeah tilt it there you go oh so it's not that we weren't close

enough and because there weren't enough of you why you got a label stuff all the

time why you gotta be like that don't don't be labeling stuff I just want to

say hello what's up how you guys do it I feel like we're so connected now we're

so connected even with me because I got people damning me and saying nice stuff

and it's all your girls can we come up with a name for your for your family

here what's the name oh I got an idea we can call you guys the Val gals huh Val

gals how awesome is Val gals if you guys are into the Val gals leave it in the

comments below we're gonna look at it and if you think that's a really bad

idea then let us know that too and come up with some suggestions as to what you

guys are going to be called great hi guys welcome back to my channel today we

decided to do a video about relationships we decided to do this

video just because we shot a video previously talking about money and kind

of communication and relationship and we got some really awesome feedback and a

lot of interest so we decided to cover this subject which is four ways to

strengthen your relationship I'm question I'm not a professional like you

you are a professional okay when we're looking at this camera do I look into

the lens or do I look into the screen so can we take the screen off because it's

distracting me no because I need to make sure that the brightness is good and

it's focused because we don't want to shoot a video and then it's not focused

that's incredible okay all right so the first thing the

first thing I want to say about relationships I'm trying not to look

into the screen the first thing I want to say about relationships is I wish

malaria would be more jealous she is the most on jealous girl in the history of

women because I'm confident I know you're confident but you could be just a

little job I get that I know but you could be just a little jealous

a little jealous you know like hey don't look up my man you know that'd be nice

do you feel like there's a middle ground between like being me

which is like I'm not jealous to being like level 10 crazy person I

just think you should take it up a notch just take it up with a jealousy not just

a little bit I just think you're very comfortable and you're not jealous okay

that's what I think okay so let's talk about the four ways that we use to

strain our relationship point number one is to over communicate communication is

key we talk about everything and part of being able to talk so much and like

really get into the root of things is coming from like a non-judgmental place

I can share whatever I feel and think about with Gary and he's not gonna judge

me or label me and I hope you feel the same I think one of the things is that

first of all in general don't scream at each other you have to keep calm staying

calm is very important I think you got to be aware of your tone you got to be

aware of how you're speaking with each other and it's not just about raising

your voice it's not being condescending it's it's staying respectful at all

times you had a condition your partner that this is the style of communication

you want so when you and I get upset each other it doesn't happen often we

don't fight a lot we don't fight because we don't hold back from expressing our

feelings at that moment if you upset me if something makes me angry a step away

maybe I'll take a few deep breaths just to not like first but I'll come back and

I'll express everything that I feel so I won't have this like thing going inside

of me and that will grow and then I'll explode and it will completely go out of

proportion so I think that's where the communication is so so important is

because it also kind of helps you to just like detox you guys are you know

disagreeing or anything's going on just like talk about it until it's solved

until you have no more hostility and anger inside most men they don't want to

have this kind of communication they don't want to talk things out they don't

want to figure stuff but do you feel like because man just like kind of let

it go faster or just because they're not good with words and the way both both I

think that they don't want to invest the time they don't want to get to the

bottom of things they just want to like go out the door and just say forget

about it and go about their business and they just leave it and I think that's

when the relationships start breaking down over time I'm a yeah

I talk I talk things through I communicate and I just I don't just over

communicate with you but that's just my style of everything I do

anyway before running businesses I over communicate with people I speak with

them a lot I got my hand gestures why can't you let me have my hand gestures

yes the second way that is very very important for a relationship to be

strong and is to maintain your sense of self I think that is something that is

extremely important once you're in a partnership that doesn't mean that you

as an individual is finished that's something that is very prominent in our

relationship look I think we give each other the space to do what we like to do

women always mention to me like oh you're so lucky that Gary is so

supportive of everything and like you know yeah I go and I go I know that

there are guys who aren't like that with their wives or their girlfriends or

whatever and I think those guys are dealing with their own insecurities I

don't know I feel pretty secure I'm also older than you so I've had time to

figure myself out so to me it's just like if you want to go with your

girlfriends like you're gonna agree with your girlfriends them just like yeah

cool go to visit your girlfriend giving each other that space is so so important

I know that I feel happy I feel like my needs are met as like you know a woman

as an individual not only as a wife and a mother so that's definitely something

that's extremely important for a relationship and I know for a fact that

if I didn't have and felt that freedom I would be miserable yes you have to give

it to the freedom but I don't think you're telling them how to do it here's

the thing here's the thing and I'm gonna go there I'm gonna go there because

here's the thing if you're worried that your man is out doing stuff that you

think you shouldn't be doing things that are disrespectful to you you gotta ask

yourself is he the right man to be with at all in addition to give each other

space you have to have that trust none of this checking up making sure testing

there's no point oh my god it takes so much energy and mental capacity to do it

and maybe you can do it when you're younger and you're just dating but trust

me when you start a family and you have your career and you have kids you don't

want to be dealing with it like that's not where you want to put your energy it

starts with trust and if you don't trust I would question if you're in the right

relationship if you don't try extremely crucial to have a strong

relationship is when you are communicating when you are talking to

each other is to make sure that you are open that you listen and that you don't

rush to blame and I feel like that's something that everyone can improve

myself as well even if someone made the mistake listening to each other's

perspectives of like how they view the situation and don't rush to blame

because again it doesn't contribute to anything at the end of the day I find

that I I slip into that easily where I start blaming her and it's something I

have to keep in mind and pull myself back from that's the natural place where

my mind goes yeah and I know it's incorrect and then I try to correct my

thoughts on that matter you know as they're happening but it's not easy to

do quite also like the solution to this is just know that you're blaming the

other person you got to step back and ask yourself is it their fault and then

not lay blame and then the last but not least which is extremely important

especially if you look in today's over-connected world is being present I

think that we all have a problem with this I think that it doesn't matter like

how many people can talk about like I come home and I put the phone down and I

turn this off sometimes I catch you you're completely in space you're

thinking about God knows what I think that it's natural I think it happens to

a lot of people it is very difficult to stay present and that's something that

we have to work on to really train our mind to be like snap out of it what are

you doing right now I'm looking for PK because I know he's taking an uber here

and I'm just wondering when he's gonna pull up and I think he's pulling up he's

my best friend we're talking about being present close

so I think that's something that we still really but we still try to work

hard on obviously there's a lot of work to be done I noticed when Gary's present

and I just really appreciate and like really cherish those few moments so so

here's what it comes down to I'm gonna say this to the to the men watching guys

guys guys look wasn't me look at me look at me you guys won't have success

relationship pay attention to your woman that's it just pay attention to her and

don't get discouraged right because there's levels to this stuff you got to

get into what I just wanna make sure that sounds good I'm just I'm passionate

why can't I be passionate and you know watch your relationship blossom because

it's a beautiful thing okay thank you guys I hope you enjoyed

this video I'll see you guys next time