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Have you heard the good news about Jesus?
Yeah? Now, have you heard the bad news about Jesus?
NEWSWOMAN: This might actually be the Holy Grail
of new video games.
It's called I Am Jesus Christ,
and it lets gamers play Jesus--
to heal a blind man, make fish appear in a bucket,
and end a thunderstorm.
The New Testament-inspired game has not been released yet,
but it is expected to launch soon.
(groaning, jeering)
Okay, this...
this is extremely offensive.
Especially for me-- someone who has already accepted
Super Mario as my video game savior. I mean...
And I say unto you, it's-a me!
-(laughter) -Look, I'll-I'll be honest,
I don't want to play a video game about Jesus.
However, I do want to play as Jesus in other video games.
Think about it. Yeah.
When Jesus was alive, he rolled with sinners and prostitutes,
so he'd kick ass in Grand Theft Auto.
He'd be amazing. Or even better,
I'd want Jesus to be in Madden as a quarterback.
Be like, "What's the play, Jesus?"
"Hail Mary, same as every play."
(laughter)
-(applause) -Or...
-(whooping, cheering) -or...
I'd want to play Jesus in Mortal Kombat.
Yeah, just ripping out dudes' spines,
then immediately healing them.
(deep voice): Ressurrect him!
So look, I don't know about this video game,
but if you are gonna play it and you do get stuck,
at least we all know the cheat code--
it's gonna be up-down-up-down- left-right-A-B-stop.