字幕列表 影片播放
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In my past life as a soccer coach,
我過去擔任足球教練的生涯中
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once you won a national championship,
只要你一得到全國冠軍
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everyone wants to come play for you.
大家都想要加入你的球隊
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Really not true.
其實不是這樣
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Once you paid them $ 25,000 a year in scholarships,
應該說只要你付給他們一年兩萬五千美元的獎學金
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everybody wants to come play for you.
大家都會想加入你的球隊
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And parents would always come to me and they'd say:
家長總是來找我說:
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"Okay, my son or my daughter wants to come play at your university,
「我的兒子(或女兒)想加入校隊
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what is it that we have to do?
要怎樣才能加入呢?」
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You know, what are you looking for?"
你想找尋什麼樣的人?
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And being the Socratic professor that I am,
我總是用蘇格拉底式的回答
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I say, well, what does your son or daughter do?
恩,你的兒子(或女兒)有什麼專長?
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What do they do really well that we'd be interested in?
他們有什麼專長我們會感興趣的?
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And typically their answers are, well, they've got great vision.
通常家長會說:我小孩視力很好
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They're really good.
是真的很好
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They can see the entire field.
他們可以看清整個球場
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Or, my daughter is the fastest player, there's nobody that can beat her.
或是,我女兒是最快的球員,沒有人可以跑得過她
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Or, my son's got a great left-footer.
我的兒子左腳踢球最棒了
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Really great in the air and can hit every ball.
真的很厲害而且百發百中
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I'm like: "Yeah, not bad;
我總回答:好吧,不錯
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but to be quite honest with you,
但是老實跟大家說
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those are the last things I'm looking for.
這些都是我最不看重的
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The most important thing?
最重要的是什麼?
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Self-confidence."
自信
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Without that skill, and I use the word skill intentionally,
沒有這項技能,我故意用「技能」個詞
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without that skill, we are useless as a soccer player.
沒有自信這項技能,我們就不是一位好的足球員
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Because when you lose sight or belief in yourself,
因為當你失去了眼界和信心時
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we're done for.
我們注定會失敗
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I use the definition of self-confidence
我把自信定義為
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to be the ability or the belief
相信自己有能力或是一種信念
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to believe in yourself, to accomplish any task,
相信自己,完成各樣挑戰
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no matter the odds, no matter the difficulty,
不論勝算多大,不論多艱難
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no matter the adversity.
哪怕是身處逆境
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The belief that you can accomplish it, self-confidence.
這股信念讓你可以克服萬難,就是自信
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Some of you are saying, "Great, I don't have it. I'm so shy.
有些人會說,「好吧!我就是沒有自信,因為我害羞
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I'll never do that, bla, bla, bla."
我永遠也做不到」之類的話
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And you start to drag all the way down here.
然後漸漸變得更沒有自信
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But, I use the word skill
但是,我用「技能」這個詞
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because
因為
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I believe it can be trained.
我相信自信可以訓練
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And I'll show you a couple of ways in which we do.
接下來,我要告訴你們一些訓練方法
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Hopefully I won't run out of time.
希望我不會超時
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I don't use any slides
我不用投影片
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because my speech always goes here, or here, or here.
因為我的演講可能一下這裡,一下那裡,不停變換
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So we'll see which way we get to.
等下就知道我們講到哪了
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The easiest way to build self-confidence:
建立自信最簡單的方法:
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there's no magic button.
沒有捷徑
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I can't say: "Hey, this plane is going down,
我不能說:「喂!這飛機要墜毀啦
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who can fly?
誰會駕駛飛機?
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Put your hand up."
請舉手。」
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"I can, I'm confident!"
「我可以,我有信心!」
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(Laughter)
(笑聲)
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Repetition, repetition, repetition.
你需要的是:不斷練習,練習,再練習
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Right?
對吧?
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What does Malcom Gladwell call it, the 10,000-hour rule?
麥爾坎·葛拉威爾提出一個法則,一萬小時法則
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There's no magic button.
這並沒有捷徑
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I recruited a goalie from Colombia, South America one year.
有一年我在南美洲的哥倫比亞,徵招了一位守門員
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Big, tall 6'3" man.
很高大,191公分
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You know, he had hands like stone.
他的手像石頭一樣光滑
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I thought he was like Flipper.
我覺得他就像電影「飛寶」裡的海豚
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Everytime I threw him the ball, down, onto the ground.
每次我丟球給他,他總接不住
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I was like, oh my god, we're in trouble.
我心想:「我的天那,我們有麻煩了!」
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Simple solution: get to the wall,
解決的辦法很簡單:讓他面對牆
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kick a ball against the wall and catch it.
對著牆踢球,然後接住球
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kick the ball against the wall and catch it.
不斷對著牆踢球,然後接住
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His goal was 350 a day for eight months.
他每天來回練習350顆球,持續八個月
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He came back, his hands were calloused,
等他回到球隊,手上全是繭
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the moisture on his hands were literally gone,
手變得不再光滑
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he is now playing in Europe.
現在他在歐洲踢球
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Magic? No.
魔術嗎?不是
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Repetition, repetition, repetition.
練習,練習,再練習
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The problem is, we expect to be self-confident
關鍵在於,我們期望自己有自信
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but we can't be unless the skill,
但我們不可能有自信,除非
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or the task we're doing,
需要的技能或需要完成的任務
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is not novel, is not new to us.
是我們所熟悉的
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We want to be in a situation
我們需要處在一種
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where we have so much pressure in that
適當的壓力底下
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and what I mean, cause pressure builds diamonds,
我想說的是,適當壓力才能產生鑽石
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we want to be in a situation where
我們需要創造一種環境讓你感覺
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"hey, I've done this a thousand times".
「嘿,這件事我做過上千遍了!」
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I did my speech,
我在準備演講
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and I practiced in front of a mirror: bla, bla, bla, bla, bla, bla.
我對著鏡子練習
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Hey I'm sounding good.
「嗯,我講的不錯」
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And then I went in front of my kids, and my wife.
之後對著我的孩子和太太講
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I said, oh gosh, I got a little nervous.
我說:天那,我覺得有點緊張
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Then I'd get in front of Glenn Gould,
然後我站在格連·古爾德(知名鋼琴家)面前講
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Oh my goodness, I am a little more nervous!
我的老天呀,我又更緊張了
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By the time I get to the ACG,
等到我在ACG演講
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where 2,500 people, can't say anymore, right?
現場有2,500人,應該不會再多了是吧?
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Twenty-five hundred people,
2,500人
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where twenty-five hundred people are there,
現場有2,500人
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I won't have a single ounce of nervousness
但我一點也不緊張
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because of my ability to practice.
這都要歸功於我的練習
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Right?
對吧?
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Over, and over, and over, again.
練習,一次又一次的不斷練習
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The problem with repetition is:
問題就在於:
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how many of us bail after the first bit of failure?
我們當中有多少人一碰到失敗就放棄了?
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How many of us bail after the first bit of adversity?
有多少人一碰到不順就退縮了?
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Edison was on that video,
影片裡我們提到愛迪生
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and it depends who you ask,
不同人有不同的答案
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there's anywhere from 1,000
但愛迪生嘗試了一千次到一萬次
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to 10,000 tries to build that light bulb.
才成功發明了電燈泡
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1,000 to 10,000.
一千次到一萬次
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J.K Rowling should be on that video.
J.K羅琳也應該在影片裡
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Do you know how many publishers she took her Harry Potter book to?
你知道她當時拿著哈利波特的手稿跑了多少家出版社嗎?
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I believe the number was 12 or 13...
我知道是12或13間
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I am pretty confident but after two or three noes
我是滿有自信的,但被拒絕兩三次後
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I'd be like: "damn it!".
我會覺得:「可惡!」
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After six or seven, I'm like: "maybe not!"
被拒絕六七次,我會想:「可能不會成功了!」
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Definitely after nine or ten
被拒絕九次或十次後
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I'd be looking to be a soccer coach
我會轉行去當足球教練
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or something else besides an author.
或其他什麼都好,反正當不了作家了
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(Laughter)
(笑聲)
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Right?
對吧?
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I mean, twelve times somebody said no.
我的意思是,即使被人拒絕12次
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But, practice, practice, practice, and do not accept failure.
可是,不斷練習,反覆再反覆,不要放棄
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Maybe it shouldn't be repetition,
也許「反覆」這個詞不對
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maybe the answer should be persistence.
應該叫「堅持」
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Because we all repeat something but very few of us really will persist.
因為我們都能重複做一件事,但很少人會堅持住
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So that's one way to build self-confidence.
這就是建立自信的方法
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Get out there.
勇敢出擊
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Do what you want to do and do not accept no.
做你想做的事,別輕易接受失敗
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The other one is self-talk.
另一個方法是自我對話
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We all have a self-talk tape that plays in our head.
我們腦子裡都有一套和自己對話的錄音帶
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Anybody go shopping and put on a pair of pants this week?
有人周末出去購物然後試穿了某條褲子嗎?
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If you're a woman,
如果你是女人
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the first thing that always comes:
第一反應永遠是:
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"damn I look fat in these pants!."
「老天,我穿這條褲子看起來真肥!」
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And if you're a man, it's the opposite:
如果你是男人,正好相反:
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"Oh god, I got no muscle, I'm so flabby!"
「哦老天呀,我沒有肌肉,看起來鬆垮垮的!」
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Right? We all have this tape that plays in our head.
對吧?我們腦子裡都有這樣的錄音帶
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As a student, if they asked me the question,
當學生的時候,如果教授提問
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it was like: "Oh, gee please professor don't pick me, I don't know the answer."
學生會想:「天那,拜託教授不要叫我回答,我不知道答案。」
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I'd look down.
我就假裝往下看
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Right?
對吧?
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If you're in the b...when I, let me tell you something,
讓我來告訴你一件事
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and the VP of business adminis. here, I shouldn't repeat this,
當商業副總裁時,我真的不應該再講這事
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but when they hired me as an Athletics director,
當學校負責人聘請我做體育部主任時
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I sat in an architect's meeting,
我參加了一個建築設計師會議
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and I am as dumb as a post
當我聽到那些數字,角度
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when it comes to anything to do with numbers and angles.
我整個呆若木雞
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And they are like:
會議就像這樣:
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the fundibular valve
他們講到建築的
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of the architectural, uh,
某個活門,然後問我:
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what do you think doctor Joseph?
「你覺得呢,約瑟夫博士?」
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Uh, let me look into that for you and get back to you.
「呃讓我想一想,我在跟你聯絡。」
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(Laughter)
(笑聲)
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Right?
對吧?
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I was in a, oh god god, please don't ask me, please don't ask me.
我當時就是這樣:天啊天啊,拜託不要問我,拜託不要問我
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We all have this negative self-talk that goes in our head.
我們腦子裡都有負面的自我對話
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Guess what?
你知道嗎?
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There's enough people that are telling us we can't do it.
已經有夠多的人告訴我們「辦不到」
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That we're not good enough.
「做的不夠好」
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Why do we want to tell ourselves that?
為什麼我們又要對自己說這些呢?
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We know for a fact that thoughts influence actions.
我們都知道思想會影響行為
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We saw it there with the video Sheldon, Dr. Levy showed.
我們從萊維博士的影片裡看到了
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We know that our thoughts influence actions,
我們知道思想會影響行為
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why do we want to say that negative self-talk to ourselves?
為什麼我們還和自己說那些負面的話呢?
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We need to get our own self-affirmations.
我們需要自我肯定
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Muhammad Ali, what was his self-affirmation?
拳王阿里,他是怎麼自我肯定?
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I am the greatest!
「我是最棒的!」
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Who else is going to tell you?
還有誰會這樣對你說?
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There need to be quiet moments in your bedroom,
我們需要一個安靜時刻,在臥室裡
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quiet moments when you're brushing your teeth.
或當你在刷牙時
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That we need to reaffirm:
這時候適合自我肯定
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"I am the captain of my ship and the master of my fate!"
「我是這艘船的船長,我是命運的主人!」
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That is my affirmation.
這是我肯定自己的方式
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I came from a school of one thousand people,
我畢業於一間只有一千人的學校
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I lived in a town of one thousand people for fifteen years;
我在只有一千人的小鎮住了15年
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there's no reason that I should be in charge of an Athletics department,
沒有什麼理由非要我來管理體育系
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building maple leaf gardens.
去負責建造體育館
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But I am the captain of my ship and the master of my fate.
但我是船長,我是命運的主人
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If I don't say it, if I don't believe it,
如果我不對自己這麼說,我不這麼相信自己
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no one else will.
其他人也更不可能了
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How do you build self-confidence?
你怎麼建立自信?
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Get away from the people who will tear you down.
遠離那些會打擊你自信的人
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There's enough of that.
那些喪氣的話夠多了
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Muhammad Ali, I am the greatest! There is no one better than me.
記住拳王阿里說 :「我是最棒的!無人能敵!」
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There's a difference between hubris, and ego, and false pride.
傲慢、自大和虛榮,這些是不一樣的
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It's just reminding yourself in quiet silent moments,
我們需要在安靜的時刻提醒自己
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I put it down on a list,
將自我勉勵的話寫下來
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it's right beside my mirror,
放在鏡子旁
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right?
好嗎?
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about all the things that make me who I am.
這些話可以幫助我成為我自己
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Because I make enough mistakes,
因為我犯的錯誤夠多了
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and the newspapers will recognize it,
報紙會發現這些錯誤
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and people around me will recognize it;
我周圍的人會看到這些錯誤
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and they'll tear me down,
然後他們會打擊我的自信心
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and pretty soon I'll begin to believe it.
過不久,我就會相信這些喪氣話了
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There was a time when my confidence was really low.
有一段時間我非常沒有自信
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There was a time when I took this job
那時候,我從愛荷華州過來
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when I came from Iowa,
接受這份工作
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I don't know if I could do it.
我不知道能否勝任
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I had to bring out my self-confidence letter.
我必須拿出勉勵自己的信,讓我鼓起信心
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A letter I wrote to myself when I was feeling good.
這些信是我意氣風發時寫的
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Ivan, congratulations on getting your PhD before 40.
(信上寫著)「伊凡,恭喜你在40歲之前拿到博士學位...」
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Congra...I am 40, under.
對了,我還沒過40歲
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(Laughter)
(笑聲)
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Congratulations on winning a national championship.
「恭喜你贏得了全國冠軍」
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Good job on raising three good kids and marrying the right woman.
「恭喜你娶了一位好太太,養大三個乖小孩」
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I wrote a letter to myself,
我寫信勉勵自己
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it was my own brag sheet.
它是我「自豪」清單
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My own letter about the things I was proud of.
上面有我所驕傲的成就
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Because there are moments,
因為某個瞬間
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and we'll all experience them in our career, in our lives,
在我們職涯中、生活中
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in our job hunting, in our relationships;
求職中、人際關係中
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when we are not feeling good about
我們會有不好的感覺
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who, and what, and where we are.
不論我們是誰,我們的身分,我們人在哪裡
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And I had to bring out that letter and read it time and time again,
每當難過的時候,我就會拿出那封信
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for a period of about two weeks, to weather me through that storm.
一遍遍的讀,大約兩周,就能度過輿論風暴
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It was important.
這很重要
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Stop the self-talk, the negative self-talk.
停止那些自我否定
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If you watch you'll see some athletes that have a little bandage,
如果注意的話,你會發現有些運動員身上有個小手環
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or a little brand around them.
或是小商標
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Lance Armstrong is a perfect one.
蘭斯阿姆斯特朗,就是個很好的例子
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What's his self-affirmation?
他的自我肯定是什麼?
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Livestrong isn't a brand, it was to remind him of who he was.
「Livestrong」並不是商標代言,它是用來提醒自己「我是誰」
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Live strong. Then it became a brand.
堅強活著!之後變成他個人的精神代言
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He would move that from one arm to the next arm,
當疑慮和恐懼來襲
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when doubt and fear came into his mind.
他會把它從自己身上移走
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Live strong, put it on there, let's go.
堅強活著!把恐懼焦慮放一旁,向前行!
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We'll all have it, we place it.
我們都會面對這樣的問題
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Two ways to build self-confidence.
以上是建立自信的兩種方法
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I'm worried about my time
我有點擔心時間不夠
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I'm gonna tell you of one way
讓我來告訴你一種
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you can build self-confidence in others.
幫助別人建立自信的方法
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We are coaches and educators,
我們是教練、教育工作者
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we are teachers, we are people
或老師,我們是這世界上
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who will create value in the world;
創造價值的人
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and in doing that, we are critical by the nature of what we do.
因為這份工作,讓我們身兼重任
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I am a coach, I want you to score a goal.
我是個教練,我希望你能進球
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The ball went over high. "Dang it!" The ball went high!
球踢高了!「該死!球踢太高啦!」
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"Thank you coach, I know that. Feedback tells me that."
「謝謝你教練,我知道。我看到球踢飛了!」
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So what do we do?
然後我們能做什麼?
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I need you to put your elbow here,
我需要你把肘關節放在這裡
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I need you to put your knee over the ball,
把你的膝蓋像這樣超過球
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I need you to follow through.
然後把球踢出去
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Boom. Land. Great.
碰!球進了!太棒了!
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Notice, I never made it as a professional.
記住,其實連我自己都做不到
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(Laughter)
(笑聲)
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What can we do?
那我們該怎麼做?
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We fix mistakes.
我們改正別人的錯誤
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When I'm fixing that mistake:
當我在修正那個錯誤時:
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"Johnny, this is terrible,
「約翰,這真是太糟糕了!」
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you need to bend your knee, you need to do this, this."
「你必須膝蓋彎曲,像這樣那樣」
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What have I done to Johnny's self-confidence?
我這樣有幫助約翰建立自信嗎?
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Bend your knee, then do this, then do this.
彎曲膝蓋,做這個,做那個
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Next thing you know, Johnny's crushed.
然後,約翰的信心被我打擊了
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Ignore what Johnny does wrong
如果忽略約翰做錯的地方
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and find Bob or Sally or Freda over here.
然後轉向另一邊的包柏,莎莉或是佛雷達