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  • B: Let`s bring in our next guest, Calle.

  • C: I thought we should liven things up a bit.

  • Give me a B

  • Give me an O

  • Give me an N

  • Give me an O

  • What is that?

  • All: Bono!!

  • C: Couldn't hear you!

  • All: Bono C: Yes!

  • Our next guest loves Bono. She has been the host for "Lørdagsrådet" (Advice on Saturday ) on P3 radio,

  • and now she has brought that show to the TV-screen, at NRK3.

  • Ladies and gentlemen, a round of applause for Siri Kristiansen!

  • B: Welcome! S: Thank you!

  • B: Lovely match with that peacock jewelry and your eyeshadow.

  • S: Thank you so much. I wish I could take the honor for this myself, but I have to thank the costume department at NRK-TV.

  • B: Oh, so someone dressed you... V: At NRK?! S: The NRK costume department

  • V: So you get costumes? S: Yes V: We don`t get that

  • S: But it's called costume even if you dress nicely.

  • B: Yes, because that can sound a little bit brutal. S: Yes

  • B: Put on your costume and come to a party...?

  • S: I think it sounds a bit Polish. B: Sounds a bit Polish.

  • B: Welcome, very nice that you're here, and it's great that you're going to talk about this show, which I`m a huge fan of.

  • The radio show was called "Lørdagsrådet" (Advice on Saturday) on P3 radio, and now it has become "Rådet" (Advice).

  • B: When does it start?

  • S: It starts Thursday the 31st at 10:20 pm.

  • B: The show is about solving other people's problems, as far as I understand. What is your expertise?

  • S: I am good at solving other peoples problems at parties. I don't dance, so I always talk to the saddest person there.

  • B: Yes S: So it`s a lot of boring partying, but it gave me a job that is quite fun.

  • B: Has this been a choice so you can raise your expertise? Where you have thought: I`m going to get some education?

  • S: No, I think this says something about how bad I am at dancing.

  • If I could choose, I have chosen to sit down. And then the ones that are crying come over to me, put their head on my shoulder, and I have to give advice. And that`s how I became good at this.

  • B: So what is your education? S: I am a furniture carpenter... B: You`re a furniture carpenter?

  • V: Sounds like it`s the funny Siri who has come out, but is this true?

  • S: No, no... I'm a furniture carpenter and I'm a production manager for things like this, so I could have run this show.

  • B: So you think you could have done it better? S: Certainly not. Maybe it would have been the same.

  • B: But maybe it was you who made this desk? S: I would have put it slightly more obliquely.

  • B: More obliquely? V: We can do that B: Like this...special, special.

  • S: And then I have a few months expertise as a dolphin trainer, and that is what I use most.

  • V: Is this funny Siri that has visited us again, or is it the real Siri?

  • S: My task was... I was a personal trainer for dolphins, because they were a part of some research.

  • B: Can`t we just make a compromise here, that everything you say from now on will not be a joke?

  • S: But it`s not a joke. B: Let`s be serious.

  • S: Yes. It was a research studio with four dolphins and my task was to entertain them between the research tests so they didn`t get bored.

  • I had 600 signs I could use as a combination or separately just to keep them going, so they wouldn`t sink to the bottom and just...

  • B: Can you show us some of the signs?

  • S: My favourite sign was, and this shows how smart dolphins are, I could tell one dolphin...

  • B: Who was called?

  • S: Elele. B: Elele. S: That means "first born" in Hawaiian.

  • S: I could say "Do whatever you like", which is this sign. "But do it with..."

  • and point at another dolphin. Then this dolphin would dive, find the second dolphin, they would agree on what to do, and then they would do a synchronized jump and do the same thing.

  • V: No!! S: So they had sent signals from under their chins, brought it into their brains and agreed on what to do.

  • B: In "Lørdagsrådet" you have guest advisers, so to speak, and we saw a sample of a very open guest adviser. Let`s have a look.

  • S: "I have been to the gynecologist a couple of times in recent years. Should I do a complete overhaul before my appointment, or will that seem strange? I shower first of course. Sincerely, Marianne".

  • Tone Damli Aaberge: I usually do an overhaul two days before, so it looks like I really don`t care, but I care.

  • B: The funniest part is the eyes of ...

  • B: Tore Sagen that go... V: Jesus Christ

  • S: I think a lot of guys will roll their eyes over this.

  • B: A two day old overhaul, that`s fresh.

  • S: That`s some of the best advice I`ve ever heard. I haven`t thought of it, but it`s a lovely mix of pretentious, smart and everything.

  • B: Yes S: So we need an advisor.

  • B: But, okay. So, is everyone as open as Damli is here? Will we see a lot of exciting reveals?

  • S: It will be some strange things, but Tone is extra fresh. She is a loose canon that unfortunately is in a network of media advisers that tell her to stop revealing everything about herself.

  • She is really Sigrid Bonde Tusvik (Norwegian comedian) caught in a "mystery body".

  • B: So this was kind of a miss in the media-project?

  • S: Yes, because she wants this so much, she really wants to flash her ass on television.

  • But she has David Eriksen (Tone Damli`s manager) in her ear saying "No, no, no..."

  • B: But you have a rather fresh language, yourself. We have been touring together. You are from Bjølsen where it`s quite rough.

  • S: It`s a rough environment there. Yes, absolutely.

  • B: And I went to school with David Toska (Norwegian bank robber).

  • S: Yes, I went to school with David Toska, but two classes below him, so I just looked up to him.

  • B: How was Toska at school? S: He was hot.

  • B: He was hot? V: Was he?

  • S: He was very, very handsome and he was kind of smart. But we didn't recognize that, because he seemed dumb.

  • He was often on his own at the bus-stop waiting for bus No. 37 or No. 20 and he was dancing, "hyping" a lot.

  • B: He was "hyping"? S: That`s a step in hip-hop. Just Google it if you want to.

  • B: But that`s a funny image of David Toska standing there doing hip-hop.

  • S: He was the leader of a dance group called the "Bjølsen trotters" and he practiced a lot. I was a member, and after that I gave up dancing.

  • But he was very handsome, and everyone was in love with him, actually. I was very much in love with David Toska.

  • B: You were in love with David Toska?

  • S: Because he was so mysterious, smart and not smart at the same time, and he had a very funny smile. A pig-like smile.

  • B: I think this can pass. V: Is this a Mona Lisa moment?

  • S: He often... He liked girls a lot, so he grunted a lot towards girls and smiled,

  • and while he smiled he blew out of his nose and scrunched and centered his face downwards. But we liked it.

  • B: I love all the details in this interview. V: Was he a criminal at that time too?

  • S: Not more than the rest of us, but he was the guy behind distributing the "bootleg" at Bjølsen, so I can thank him for my opportunity to taste alcohol when I was very young.

  • V: So you were a part of this too?

  • S: I bought a bottle of Whiskey from him before a camping trip the summer before 9th grade.

  • B: You're the hostess of "Rådet" where you solve problems with other celebrities and we thought we should do the same here.

  • V: You have a panel, not a ponel, but a panel, right? So we need a panel too.

  • B: Yes, and I thought we should bring in Norway's 34th and 35th best comedians.

  • Ladies and gentlemen, welcome Magnus Devold and Carl Fredrik Hellevang Larsen!

  • B: Now we have seen the clip...

  • V: Magnus-Siri, Siri-Magnus, Calle-Siri, Siri-Calle...

  • B: We have seen the clip, but we thought before we saw it that you might have some costumes on, so we also got costumes so we should be more advisor-like. I feel now that this was a big mistake.

  • V: No, I don`t. S: You look a bit like Christian Borch if you pull these backwards.

  • V: Or Georg from Hotelsar.

  • B: But it is... V: "Odd Karstein Tveit, Riad."

  • B: And I have this mallet, and I`m going to hit the table with it when we have made a decision.

  • Okay, now it`s like this. You have, on your own cards, a real question asked by one of your listeners.

  • S: Yes B: A dilemma that has been sent to "Rådet" that hasn't been used there, but one that we want to use.

  • B: We haven`t heard the question before. Fire away!

  • S: "Hello "Rådet"! I`m a boy who`s about to move in to a collective. I usually pee in the shower. Do I have to stop doing that now?"

  • C: Not many laughed at that. M: You could have a toilet in the shower.

  • S: But a shower is a toilet. You have a drain and water and...

  • B: I think this is interesting because... C: But do you really want to step in other people's urine?

  • B: But do you do that? V: But you pee in the beginning of a shower, don`t you?

  • C: But you can wait until you`re finished and then pee.

  • V: Now I have rinsed out the conditioner and finished my shower, it`s about time to take a pee.

  • S: When you get hot water on your body it does something with your bladder that makes you want to pee. It`s the same when you`re in a swimming pool.

  • I wonder if something happens to your body and you want to pee in contact with water.

  • B: I think the interesting thing is... C: The sound of water.

  • B: If you talk about chemistry and hygiene it wont be a problem when we think about all the slag and dirt that is everywhere.

  • C: No, this is just a social... S: Do any of you pee in the shower?

  • V: I have done it. C: I have too. M: I might have.

  • M: I might have had an accident... B: The girl in the VIP seat points at the other girl. Is it true?

  • C: Girls who pee in the shower are... V: Do you pee in the shower, for real?

  • VIP-girl 1: I apologize to my room-mates but... VIP-girl 2: I just found this out.

  • C: But there`s a big difference between boy and girl pee...

  • M: Do girls pee? B: Yes, they do S: A lot

  • V: I think it`s more common in Sweden to pee in the shower, they can`t afford a toilet.

  • B: But now we need to come to a conclusion, and my thoughts are: Is it okay to lay down on your stomach and put your penis down the drain. Is it okay then?

  • B: If you don't pee on the tiles. M: Sounds better to me.

  • S: I think it sounds more creepy. M: You can use an old, empty shampoo-bottle.

  • Just pee into that.

  • Then the tiles go free and it wont be creepy for other people. And then you bring, because you do this to save time, maybe in the morning...

  • S: Yes? M: And then you can pour the pee in the toilet, put the bottle back and use it the next time.

  • B: That`s good advice from Magnus.

  • Okay, do you usually come to a conclusion in your show?

  • S: Yes, we do that and give the answer directly to the person with the question.

  • C: Do we have a conclusion? B: Can you give us the answer?

  • S: I think, of course, that everything you've said was nonsense, so my conclusion is: Pee as much as you like in the shower to save the environment.

  • V: Shall we use the mallet?

  • B: I think we should finish this now...

  • V: Without a conclusion? B:...and conclude that it`s fun, but it`s probably funnier when you do it as a professional.

  • S: Yes B: Ladies and gentlemen, give a big hand for Siri Kristiansen!

  • B: It`s not only Siri Kristiansen that gets questions, because we do too at ylvis@tvnorge.no and this week we got a fun question.

  • B: "Hellord , Vegard and Calle! What do you do when you don`t make TV-shows? Do you sometimes have a vacation? Greetings from Jeppe".

  • V: And I think we should talk about that because each time we finish a season, like now, in a couple of weeks, we all go to the same place every year.

  • C: The three of us travel together, it`s a tradition.

  • B: It`s to get more energy of course, and there are a lot of places to travel. We have found a place we love.

  • V: Our home away from home.

  • C: Our second home, or my first home

  • B: But we thought: It`s hard to explain what`s so fantastic about this place. So we have made a postcard, and here it is.

B: Let`s bring in our next guest, Calle.

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Ylvis - Guest Siri Kristiansen - IKMY 22.10.2013 (Ylvis - Guest Siri Kristiansen - IKMY 22.10.2013)

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    Barry Chan 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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