It's gonnabenothing, butwewantedtousethistimeofyeartoasmuchas I lovetocelebratethemagicofChristmasandhowcoolupgetinit.
I wantedtodosomethingthatwouldalsomakeusallunderstandhowluckyweareonDDE, whatotherpeoplecouldbegoingthroughandaregoingthroughandlivingeverysingleday.
Sothereis a reasonwhy I'm wearingfamilestonight.
I amgoingtobesleepingonthestreetsinLondonwithmybestfriendand I'm petrified.
I'm absolutelypetrified.
I'venever, ever, inmylifedoneanythinglikethis.
I'm not a narccamper.
I'veneverbeen a camper.
I thinkthemost I'veeverdoneisslepton a bargeboat.
Butthat's stillindoors.
I'veneverreallybeenthatway, but I knewthat I hadThioexperiencedthisformyselftoappreciatewhatthesepeoplegothroughon.
I knewthat I wantedtosharethisonmychannel.
I amdoingthiswithCenterPointUKandCenterPointis a charitythathelpshomelesspeopleage 16 to 25 onbasicallywhattheirmissionistohelpthosepeoplegetjobsonDhe.
So I think I thinkit's finallybecausewegothereandtherewasnooneelsehere.
I'm sureyou'regoingtohearlotsofpeopleshouting.
I thinkit's finallykindofsettingin.
Howmanypeoplearealsogoingtobehereon.
There's obviously, likepeoplethatthere's a barandallofthemoneygoestocharityiswell, theysaythatthere's lightsout 11 but I don't thinkthat's gonnastoppeople.
So, yes, I hadthisvisionof, likejustbeingbyourselves, nooneelsearounditbeingverycold, verylonely.
Thenthey'llputlike a randombowlandthentryandlike, Howwouldyouwashthatbowlotherthanputtingit, therewouldbereallyfreaksmeoutwhenyoudon't starttheplaceoftheedge, becausethenyou'vegot a lotofsurfaceareatoYou'relikeoneofthestreet.
I thinktheloadingofjudicialsureengineercameupinAly's weddingspeechabouthowhewasmarryingyou, but I kindofcamealongwiththiswasbeforeyoufinisheddinnerefficient.
Itwas I wasthisclosefromthegroundlikethattothegrassiscominghere.
I didn't evenrealizeuntilthemorningeventhinkaboutthespidersituationofthelastthingonmymind.
It's justsofunnytothinkaboutmeinthebeginning, when I was, youknow, packingmyconcealersinmybyTerryCCserumsandhowignorantandjustnaive I was, too.
Howaboutitisgonnabebecauseinthosesituations, whenyouaresleepingsopoorly, whenyouaretiredandgettingillbecauseyou'recalling I hadsomanylayerson, butbecausewe'relyingontheground, it's likethegroundwastakingourheat.
And I justlovethat I thoughtthat I wouldgiveanykindofcrapabouthow I lookedwhen I wokeupinthatsituationlike, Was I reallygoingtogoandputconcealeronmyface?
No, I wasnot.
I wantedtojustCarlaandlike, eveninmyhead, likemybraincan't functionbecause I havenotslept.
I'vehadsuchpoorsleeponDDE.
It's mustbelike a viciouscircleforthesepeoplelikeHowaretheysupposedtogetoutofthesesituationswheneverythingispointingonDDE, draggingthembackdownlikeit's likethatcondemnedfromtheverybeginning?
Becauseitjusttakesonenightonenight?
Andyouareyoujustloseyourselflike I'm inbed.
I'm gonnagettwohourssleepbecause I havetodrivetoBirminghamtoday.
ThenthroughthenightThatwasoneparticulargirlwhoobviously I don't knowwhethershehasnightterrorsorwhatwasgoingon, butshewouldjusteverysooftenshoutinhersleep.
Thenwhen I hitmyteens, I I resentourrelationshipbecamevery, verystrained.
Very.
I mean, itwassuch a volatilerelationshiponDDE.
Upuntilthepoint, youknow, I left, I traveled, I wenttouniversity.
Itwasactuallywhen I camebackfromuniversity, youknow, I wasriddledwithstudentdebt.
I wasin a notverygood, notveryhealthyrelationship.
I endedupbacklivingwithher.
I think I wassleepingonhersofaondhe.
Thesituationjustreacheditspeak.
Itwasdecidedthatitwasbestthat I leave.
I hadnowheretogoiswhenAliand I hadjustfirstmetand I waslike, YoucomeandstaywithmeAnd I waslike, I'm notcoming.
I don't evenknowyouthatwell.
But I endedupgoingtolivewithmygrandmaon.
MygrandmahelpedmegetbackonmyfeetonDheknoweveryonehas a grandmaor a passinglike a grandma.
Sothat's whenwecomein.
Andwehavetobethatgrandmaandhelppeoplegetbackontheirfeetbecausemygrandmaletmecomeandlivewithher, eventhough I wasanhourfromwhere I wasworking.
I don't knowif I toldyoubyEvenbeforegoingtomygrandma's, I triedThioapplyforgovernmenthousingbecause I hadnomoney.
Eventhough I had a job, I'd onlybeeninthejobfortwoweeks.
I justleftuniversity.
I hadnothing, absolutelynothing.
I waslike, I don't have a deposittoget a flatonmyown, butbecause I had a fulltimejob, I was I hadnothing, so I couldn't getmyselflikeonmyfeetwithouthelponmygrandma.