字幕列表 影片播放 列印英文字幕 -Hey, guys, whenever I need a pick-me-up, I go to my main source of spiritual strength -- inspirational quotes posted on Instagram. So it's time for "#blessed, #inspired." [ Cheers and applause ] -#Blessed, #inspired. [ Laughter ] -Our first inspirational quote is, "Love thy neighbor as thyself. Especially if thy neighbor has Netflix thou art secretly stealing." [ Laughter and applause ] How about this morsel? [ Laughter ] -Oh. -"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. But if you keep grabbing birds, you're definitely gonna get banned from the zoo again." [ Laughter and applause ] You don't want to be banned from the zoo again. -Again. -Here's a treasure. [ Laughter ] "Each day provides its own gifts. Like last Tuesday when you saw Kevin from accounting rollerblading to work and totally biff it." [ Laughter and applause ] You shouldn't -- You shouldn't laugh at that! This is a little blessing. [ Laughter ] -Oh. -"The only thing holding you back is your imagination. Unless your name is Dirk. Then that's probably holding you back, too. Sorry, Dirk." [ Applause ] [ Laughter ] Here's a spot of light. [ Laughter ] "Fall seven times, get up eight. And then maybe think about laying off the vodka for a while. It's 5:00 p.m., bro! [ Laughter and applause ] [ Bell rings ] [ Laughter ] And now another touch of inspiration. [ Laughter ] "If you're feeling overwhelmed, sometimes you just need to sit down and take a deep breath. You'll still be overwhelmed, but at least you're sitting down now." [ Laughter and applause ] Here's a make-believe taste of granola. [ Laughter ] "It's never too late to do the right thing. But keep in mind that the Taco Bell drive-in closes at 1:00 a.m. on weekdays." [ Laughter and applause ] -Oh. -Make good choices. [ Laughter ] We're down to our last gentle, little nugget. -Oh. [ Laughter ] Ew, gross. -"Creativity is contagious, so put yourself out there. But the coronavirus is also contagious, so on second thought, maybe stay inside for a while." That's all the time we have for "#blessed, #inspired." Stick around. We'll be right back with more "Tonight Show."