I go to my main source of spiritual strength --

inspirational quotes posted on Instagram.

So it's time for "#blessed, #inspired."

[ Cheers and applause ]

-#Blessed, #inspired.

[ Laughter ]

-Our first inspirational quote is,

"Love thy neighbor as thyself.

Especially if thy neighbor has Netflix

thou art secretly stealing."

[ Laughter and applause ]

How about this morsel?

[ Laughter ] -Oh.

-"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

But if you keep grabbing birds,

you're definitely gonna get banned from the zoo again."

[ Laughter and applause ]

You don't want to be banned from the zoo again.

-Again. -Here's a treasure.

[ Laughter ]

"Each day provides its own gifts.

Like last Tuesday when you saw Kevin from accounting

rollerblading to work and totally biff it."

[ Laughter and applause ]

You shouldn't -- You shouldn't laugh at that!

This is a little blessing.

[ Laughter ] -Oh.

-"The only thing holding you back is your imagination.

Unless your name is Dirk.

Then that's probably holding you back, too.

Sorry, Dirk."

[ Applause ]

[ Laughter ]

Here's a spot of light. [ Laughter ]

"Fall seven times, get up eight.

And then maybe think about laying off

the vodka for a while.

It's 5:00 p.m., bro!

[ Laughter and applause ]

[ Bell rings ]

[ Laughter ]

And now another touch of inspiration.

[ Laughter ]

"If you're feeling overwhelmed,

sometimes you just need to sit down and take a deep breath.

You'll still be overwhelmed,

but at least you're sitting down now."

[ Laughter and applause ]

Here's a make-believe taste of granola.

[ Laughter ]

"It's never too late to do the right thing.

But keep in mind that the Taco Bell drive-in

closes at 1:00 a.m. on weekdays."

[ Laughter and applause ]

-Oh. -Make good choices.

[ Laughter ]

We're down to our last gentle, little nugget.

-Oh. [ Laughter ]

Ew, gross.

-"Creativity is contagious, so put yourself out there.

But the coronavirus is also contagious,

so on second thought, maybe stay inside for a while."

That's all the time we have for "#blessed, #inspired."

Stick around.

We'll be right back with more "Tonight Show."