字幕列表 影片播放 列印英文字幕 - [Ian] Bridgegoor! Emphizia! (magic wands twinkles) (suspenseful music) - Hey, you can do this. - This is Peter Rosenthal, head film critic for The Onion, today, I'll be looking at Disney Pixar's Onward, a fantasy film following two teenage elf brothers, who inherit a wizard's staff with the power to reunite them with their dead father. A far-fetched, and frankly, implausible premise that requires the audience to believe anyone could ever love their dad enough to want to bring them back to life. Set in one of Pixar's typically inventive fantasy worlds in which magic exists, elves live in toadstools, and centaurs roam the land, Onward begins with the improbable narrative hook of siblings Ian and Barley Lightfoot, being excited to uncover instructions that could resurrect their father. Rather than simply throwing out the magical staff, and living carefree with the knowledge that he's buried safely underground where he can never hurt them again. Yet, the film only becomes more preposterous from here. As the spell malfunctions and only brings back half of their father's body. Audience members will no doubt expect the film to continue the boys wisely disposing of his body in the woods, heading home to spend time with their loving mother, and perhaps going to a therapist to rid themselves of the scars left by their father's emotional manipulation and crushing disappointment and all their interests. Instead, the Lightfoots embark on a road trip to spend one last day with their father. Leaving audiences to ask the same question time and again: Why exactly are they doing this? Perhaps the boys want to bring back their father to chastise him for not once attending their middle school theater performances. Or, they figure if they break down crying in front of his reanimated body, then maybe the icy emotional distance between them will finally melt and once, just goddamn once, he'll admit he was proud of them for all of the Midwest Film Journal awards they won over their careers a movie critic. Or you know, whatever. Indeed despite a game cast featuring Chris Pratt, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, and Octavia Spencer as a range of fairy tale characters, ultimately not even the greatest talents in show business can sell audiences on the perplexing idea that someone, anyone, wouldn't simply rejoice at their father's death and the prospect of never again looking into his cold, uncaring eyes. Ultimately while, previous releases proved Pixar's daft hand at selling audiences on outlandish premises such as talking toys, or a rat chef, Onward's improbable narrative seems to be a missed teaching opportunity. Failing to depict how the Lightfoot boys could choose to become the man their father never was. Rather than holding on to the impossible hope that they can all be one big happy family again. Because guess what? They can't. He never gave a shit about you, okay? Trust me. And you know what? Good fucking riddance. I hope that bastard rots. For the Onion's Film Standard, I'm Peter Rosenthal.