I do need the wine.

I have lots of wine--

You do?

--your own wine.

I can have it.

Have some white wine.

I'd like to share with the audience.

But there's no--

[APPLAUSE]

Yeah.

Next time, we'll do it.

That's a tease.

She doesn't have enough for the audience.

You're going to pass one bottle around.

You can take a swig and pass it around.

Don't worry about the flu going around.

[LAUGHTER]

Am I the only one who drinks?

Oh, the flu.

Yeah, yeah, nobody's going to do that.

All right, I'm going to read a question.

And then you have to answer it honestly, and then

hit the buzzer, OK?

OK.

Ready?

Uh-huh, I'm ready.

When was the last time you had too much wine?

Last night.

OK.

[APPLAUSE]

OK.

Am I going to win?

Yeah, it seems like you're winning already.

Finished this sentence.

Diane Keaton is--

She's trouble.

[APPLAUSE]

Name a young star whose style you love.

Heh.

I think I know who you're going to say.

Who do you think?

I think Billie Eilish.

Amen.

Billie Eilish.

I just know you would like that kind of style.

No, I like her.

She's amazing.

What is one thing you tried that you will never do again?

Kiss Kris Kristofferson.

[APPLAUSE]

Do I leave now?

I'm failing.

No.

Why--

The audience has had it with me.

Explain that.

Oh, my God.

It was a long time ago.

I was young.

It was a mistake.

I think he--

[LAUGHTER]

He was very attractive at the time.

And--

[LAUGHTER]

You'll never do it again?

He didn't want it.

He didn't want my kiss.

[LAUGHTER]

He didn't want your kiss?

No!

Wow.

Sorry.

Have some wine.

What's the sexiest food?

Sexy food.

Sexiest food.

What do you stick your tongue in that's gooey?

[LAUGHTER]

What's a sexy food that's gooey?

What do you stick your tongue in that's gooey?

Jell-O?

Or--

Jell-O you can't really stick your tongue in.

You can't quite go there.

No.

Something like--

Tapioca pudding?

--like a bad soup that's congealed?

And you just go like that?

That does sound sexy.

Like a bad soup that's congealed.

Well, it's got the right color.

It's the right color.

[LAUGHTER]

It's got the right color?

What are you talking about?

Yeah, because it's cream.

Isn't that what sex is about, cream?

[LAUGHTER]

Can I go?

Cause I was lying about Kris Kristofferson.

I never kissed him.

You never kissed him?

I never kissed him!

[LAUGHTER]

But I had to make something up!

If you were in an art class, who would you

want to be the nude model?

Oh.

Ellen, I would like it to be you.

[APPLAUSE]

Oh, OK, thank you, thank you.

Because Ellen is good looking.

Yeah.

I like your shape.

Usually, Thursdays and Saturdays between 1:00 and 4:00

over at the promenade.

Name someone you would like to kiss.

Um, I would say that I would like

to kiss Kris Kristofferson.

[LAUGHTER]

All right.

Can I leave now?

Yes, almost, almost.

Drink some more wine.

Brother and Sister: A Memoir is available tomorrow.

Everyone in the audience, this is it, beautiful.

You're going home with a copy of this book.

[APPLAUSE]