- EDUARDO, MAN, YOU ARE SO LOCO, MAN!

- WOW.

- WE NEED A CRAZY VATO LIKE YOU IN OUR GANG.

- SI.

- WITH THIS BANDANA, I WELCOME YOU TO THE GANG.

- YO.

HOLD UP.

- OH...KAY.

- WHAT'S GOING ON?

- HEY. CARLITO.

UH, I WAS JUST WELCOMING EDUARDO INTO THE GANG.

- WHY? WHO HE?

WHAT HE DID?

- HE'S--HE'S CRAZY, MAN.

WE--WE WERE THINKING THAT THE GANG NEEDS A CRAZY GUY.

- YEAH, YEAH, MAN. THIS GUY IS LOCO.

SHOW HIM, EDUARDO.

LOCO!

- THAT'S MUY LOCO.

- LOCO. HUH?

- NO, NO. I'M THE LOCO ONE IN THIS GANG.

- WHAT? OKAY, OKAY.

- CHECK THIS OUT.

QUACK, QUACK, QUACK. QUACK-QUACK.

I'M A DUCK.

I'M A CRAZY DUCK.

- NO--CARLITO. - QUACK.

- CARLITO, IT'S NOT THAT KIND OF LOCO, OKAY?

THAT'S MORE LIKE, YOU KNOW, ZAINY.

OR--OR GOOFY.

- YEAH. - IT'S THE WRONG KIND OF LOCO.

- YOU WANT TO SEE LOCO?

- CARLITO. YOU'RE NOT CRAZY.

YOU'RE LIKE, UH, THE QUIET ONE.

- I'M NOT QUIET.

I NEVER BE CAUGHT BEING QUIET.

IN FACT, I'M ALWAYS LOUD. CHECK IT.

AHH.

- OKAY. OKAY.

THAT WAS WEIRD.

THAT WAS--WERE YOU YELLING?

- I'LL SHOW YOU LOCO RIGHT HERE.

RIGHT NOW IN BROAD DAYLIGHT, YO.

- CARLITO, NO. - OH, MY GOD.

- CARLITO, PULL UP YOUR PANTS, HOMES.

- I GOT TILIKUM ON MY UNDERWEAR.

THAT'S THE BLACK FISH.

I'M NAKED, AND I DON'T EVEN CARE.

- CARLITO, YOU GOTTA PULL 'EM UP, OKAY?

THERE'S, LIKE, CHILDREN IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD, OKAY?

- OKAY. BUT CHECK THIS OUT.

I GOT NINE PUNCH CARDS FROM FROYO UNIVERSE,

EACH WITH A ONE STAMP IN IT.

EVERY TIME I GET A FROYO, I GET A NEW CARD.

- CARLITO, THAT'S JUST BEING CAVALIER WITH YOUR FINANCES

INSTEAD OF COLLECTING YOUR FREE DESSERT.

I MEAN, THAT'S NOT LOCO.

THAT'S JUST, LIKE, FINANCIALLY IRRESPONSIBLE.

- I MIGHT NOT BE LOCO, BUT YOU KNOW WHO IS LOCO?

MY FRIEND MR. BASURA-HEAD.

- HE'S DUMPING THE GARBAGE.

- HI, I'M THE MOST LOCO PERSON IN HERE.

- CARLITO. WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

- QUE?

- CARLITO.

OKAY.

CARLITO...YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS, OKAY?

IT'S NOT NECESSARY. YOU'RE NOT THE LOCO ONE.

- CHECK THIS OUT.

DER. I FEEL--YEAH, I'M CRAZY.

I'M THE LOCO ONE.

- CARLITO, PLEASE DON'T DO IT AGAIN.

- OHH!

- CARLITO, STOP.

- I'M IN TOO DEEP.

- THIS IS LIKE WATCHING THE BRITISH VERSION O THE OFFICE.

LIKE, IT'S FUNNY, BUT AWKWARD AND SAD AT THE SAME TIME.

- YES.

- OH!

- WELL, I THINK I JUST PROVED THIS BOTTLE IS UNBREAKABLE.

[glass shattering]

- CARLITO. YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF.

- LOOK AT THIS.

- NO. NO, NO, NO, CARLITO.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH THAT?

- I DON'T KNOW.

I'M TOO CRAZY.

OH!

- CARLITO, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT, MAN?

THAT WAS LOCO, BUT NOT IN A ENTERTAINING WAY.

- OKAY.

- OKAY.

- CARLITO, PUT DOWN THE GUN, HOMES.

- OH, DON'T YOU FEAR.

- PUT THE GUN DOWN. - PUT THE GUN DOWN.

- THE CRAZY, CRAZY ONE IS HERE.

- CARLIT--STOP! - PUT IT DOWN.

- OH, MY STAPLE HAND.

- PUT THE GUN DOWN. - DON'T DO THAT.

- I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT. - CARLITO, STOP TWIRLING IT.

- LOCO, LOCO, LOCO. WHERE SHE STOPS?

NOBODY KNOW--CO-OH.

- FUCK!

CARLITO, YOU JUST SHOT EDUARDO IN THE HEAD!

- NOW I'M THE MOST LOCO IN THE GANG?

- YES, CARLITO, BY PROCESS OF ELIMINATION,

YOU'RE THE MOST LOCO PERSON IN THE GANG.

- YES.

- all: OH!

- LOCO!

- HE CAUGHT THE BULLET. ORALE!

HE CAUGHT THE BULLET IN HIS TEETH!

- LOCO!

- THAT'S THE MOST LOCO-EST THING I EVER SEEN!

- all: NO, NO! [gun shot]