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  • If there is one thing definitively known in this world, it's that raccoons are consummate professionals when it comes to being annoying.

    如果世上有絕對的事,要惹惱人時,浣熊絕對是完美專家。

  • This one is going undercover as a cat.

    這隻偷偷裝作是貓。

  • It's like: "Oi, let me in on the action, stop being hogs!".

    他就像在說:「欸,讓我參一咖,不要這麼自私啦!」

  • "Hey, nah nah nah! I'm one of you!".

    「嘿,別緊張,我是你們一員啦!」

  • "I'm one of you.".

    「我也是貓啦!」

  • "What have you got here?".

    「你們這有啥?」

  • "A whole bowl of expensive biscuits.".

    「一整碗昂貴的餅乾。」

  • "A fancy hydration station.".

    「華麗的補水站。」

  • "This is gold!".

    「太讚了啦!」

  • "I could get used to this domesticated lifestyle.".

    「我也可以習慣這種居家生活。」

  • This human has decided to share his food.

    這個人類決定分享食物。

  • Instead of being gracious, the raccoon takes the WHOLE FUCKING BAG OF MARSHMALLOWS!

    這隻浣熊超級無禮,直接把整袋他 X 的棉花糖拿走!

  • It must have been thinking: "You bloody idiot!".

    他一定在想:「你這白癡。」

  • "It's a dog-eat-dog world.".

    「大家都在相互廝殺。」

  • "Why would I take one, when I can take thirty?".

    「我可以拿三十個的時候,幹嘛只拿一個?」

  • Here comes another greedy bastard.

    又來一個貪心的渾蛋了。

  • "Thank you, see you later!".

    「謝啦,掰掰囉!」

  • They just do not care if they look like fuck wits..

    他們完全不在乎自己看起來多渾蛋。

  • "Hey guys, have you had dinner yet?".

    「嘿,你們吃晚飯沒?」

  • "Or is it on the way?".

    「還是晚餐在送過來的路上了?」

  • "Can I get an ETA?".

    「有預計抵達的時間嗎?」

  • "You've eaten, haven't you? I can tell.".

    「你們是不是吃過了?我看得出來。」

  • "Alrighty!".

    「好吧!」

  • "This is a nice rug.".

    「噢,這是很好的毯子欸。」

  • "Is it Persian?".

    「是波斯毯嗎?」

  • "I love it!".

    「我好愛!」

  • "It would go great in my dining room.".

    「這放在我的飯廳超適合。」

  • "Yeah nah, I'll just take this if you don't mind.".

    「好吧,如果你們不介意,我要把這個拿走。」

  • "Of course you don't.".

    「你們當然不介意囉!」

  • "See ya later!".

    「晚點見啦!」

  • "Oh, and remember: give me more notice before dinner next time.".

    「噢,要記得,下次吃晚飯前要通知我。」

  • "Cheers!".

    「掰啦!」

  • Meanwhile, back with this guy, he's like: "Why don't you put the biscuit in the water?".

    回到這傢伙,他像在說:「你們為何不把餅乾放在水裡?」

  • "Now we have a chicken biscuit and dank water stew.".

    「現在我們有了雞肉餅乾燉清水。」

  • "Chuck that in your cake hole, it's delicious!".

    「吃吃看啦,很好吃!」

  • "Okay, fine fine fine!".

    「好啦好啦,不吃就算了!」

  • "You don't want it?".

    「你確定不要?」

  • Look at this gang, it's a bloody gang of raccoons.

    看看這群傢伙,竟然是一群浣熊。

  • I didn't even know they could start gangs.

    我都不知道他們可以組幫派。

  • Oh no, they've found the leftover pizza.

    噢不,他們發現了吃剩的披薩。

  • That was gonna be someone's lunch for tomorrow, not anymore.

    本來應該是某人明天的午餐,不過太遲了。

  • The raccoon pizza gang is on the loose and they give zero fucks about eating too many carbs.

    浣熊披薩幫派已經失控,他們完全不在乎吃太多碳水化合物。

  • "Oh, this is a sweet find.".

    「噢,這很棒。」

  • "New Balance, roughly three years old.".

    「大概已經穿三年的 New Balance。」

  • "These would go great with my Persian rug!".

    「這鞋和我的波斯毯很配!」

  • "And my big fuck-off bag of marshmallows.".

    「和我那一大袋的棉花糖也很配。」

  • "I'll just pick up some fresh laces, they'll totally feel new again.".

    「我只要再撿一些新的鞋帶,鞋子就變全新的了。」

  • This raccoon is on some kind of heist.

    這隻浣熊在搶劫。

  • He's part of an elite team that's been planning to rob the bakery for months.

    他是計畫數月、要搶銀行的菁英團隊的一員。

  • This is probably his last job before he retires.

    這可能是他退休前的最後工作。

  • And it's gonna be a big payday with that pastry!

    有這麵包,根本是超強發薪日!

  • Everyone should get a good cut!

    每個人都能分一點!

  • He just has to make it to the getaway car.

    他只要逃亡成功就好了。

  • Overall, I'm keen to see how their species evolves.

    總體來說,我很想看這個種族怎麼演化。

  • If they want to be greedy and steal all the time, we'll see, we'll see how far that gets them in life.

    如果他們每次都很貪心、都在偷東西,我們就來看看他們能走多久吧!

If there is one thing definitively known in this world, it's that raccoons are consummate professionals when it comes to being annoying.

如果世上有絕對的事,要惹惱人時,浣熊絕對是完美專家。

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