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(creepy music)
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(bats squealing)
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(cackling)
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- And even to this very day, I feel the insects
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crawling inside me, in my skin, in my abdomen,
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in my antenna!
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(gasp)
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- Oh snap! He turned into an insect in the end?
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- Oh, I wouldn't like turning into an insect.
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That would really bug me!
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(laughing)
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- Well, that's just great.
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After that creepy pasta I feel like I'm covered in bugs!
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I need a shower.
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- That's good, you feel like you're covered in bugs!
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That's how you know it's a good creepy pasta.
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- Should we do another?
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- Oh, do we have to?
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I'm already really on edge,
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(loud crash)
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(screaming)
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- Oh I apologize.
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I hope I didn't startle you!
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(laughing)
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- No, it's just that, we were reading creepy pastas.
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- Creepy pastas?
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Why, those are my forte!
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And trust me when I say, mine are to die for!
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(laughing)
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- Ah, I'm not scared.
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You guys are scared!
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- My first creepy pasta, perhaps my creepiest
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is called "The Tag".
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There once was a very small apple, that was annoyed
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by that tag on his mattress that said "do not remove".
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Every night, the tag tickled his tiny, nonexistent toes.
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Finally, one day, he tore that tag off in frustration,
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but heard a scream as he did.
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The tiny apple looked all over the place,
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but he could not figure out where the scream came from.
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Later that night, as the diminutive apple
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prepared for bed, the lights suddenly went out.
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There was a slam, clatter.
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The apple was very frightened,
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not to mention very, very small.
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- [Apple] Okay, we get it!
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- [Pasta] Who was there, wondered the puny little apple.
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What could it be?
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As he reached for his flashlight,
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a shadow appeared in the doorway.
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Frantically, the minuscule apple tried to get the flashlight
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to turn on, but it was far too big for him
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to properly handle, because he was so tiny, you see.
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Before he could react, the figure reached out
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and tore the apple's tiny little stem clean off!
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(screaming)
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He screamed in agony and dropped the flashlight,
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which finally flickered on to reveal...
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the mattress!
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(screaming)
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- Wait, the mattress is exactly
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who I thought it was gonna be.
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- Guys? Where's Little Apple?
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- Oh, he must have had to go use the bathroom.
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- That's actually a good point.
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He usually pees his pants at scary stories.
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It's a good thing he made it to a bathroom this time.
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- Huh, our little Apple's growing up!
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- I wouldn't exactly say he's growing!
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(laughing)
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- Speaking of bathrooms, would you like to hear
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my creepy pasta called "Toilet Monster"?
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- I guess we have some time to kill
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until Little Apple gets back!
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- Time to kill indeed!
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(laughing)
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"Do not flush paper towels", read the sign above the toilet,
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but the grapefruit could not be bothered to obey the rules.
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He was, in his mind, too cool for the rules.
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So, day after day, he flushed paper towels down the toilet.
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"What's the worst thing that could happen?", he figured.
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"The toilet gets clogged or something?"
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But the grapefruit was wrong.
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Because the warning sign was not posted
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because the pipes might clog.
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The sign was to deter people from inadvertently
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feeding the toilet monster, who lived deep within the pipes.
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Thanks to the grapefruit's negligence, day after day
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the toilet monster feasted on its favorite food,
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paper towels, and grew larger, and larger, until one day,
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it grew too big for the toilet and burst out,
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hungry for more paper towels!
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As fate would have it,
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the foolish grapefruit was holding the paper towel roll.
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At that very moment, the toilet monster
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devoured the paper towels,
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and the grapefruit along with it!
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(screaming)
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- Hold on, now Grapefruit's missing!
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- Oh, he must have needed to go buy socks or something!
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- That makes no sense!
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- Ah but you know what would make sense,
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listening to another creepy pasta, courtesy of yours truly.
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- No, thank you!
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- I heard "Yes, please".
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Very well, this one I like to call "Boaring".
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Once upon a time, there was a boring pear,
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who wrote boring math equations on the white board.
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After boring his entire class half to death,
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his incessant scrawling actually bored a hole
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through the board.
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The boring pear fell through the hole
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in the board he had bored, and found himself
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in a world filled with wild boars.
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One of the boars charged toward him, and the pear screamed!
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But the boar stopped in it's tracks.
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"Why would I attack you?" asked the boar.
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"You're one of us!"
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The pear was very confused,
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because he was most certainly not a boar.
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And that's when the first tusk jutted out of his mouth!
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Then another!
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Then a tail
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and a snout!
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And before he knew it, he had become the only thing
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he had ever known how to be,
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an utter and complete boar.
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- That wasn't a very scary ending!
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- That's because I haven't gotten to the ending yet.
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Do you know what those boars did, day in and day out,
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for the rest of their boring boar lives?
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- [Orange] Uh, what did they-
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- [Pasta] Algebra!
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(screaming)
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- Oh, is it just me now?
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Apparently so!
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(laughing)
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- Yeah, Pear must have left.
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Maybe he had to rush out to see that new art exhibit
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about slugs downtown.
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You know the one.
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- Well, actually, that does sound like Pear.
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- Oh yeah, of course it does.
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And now then, I've one last creepy pasta to tell,
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and I assure you, it's going to slay!
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(laughing)
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- If the story's half as punny as you are,
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this orange is juiced to hear it!
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(laughing)
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- As fate would have it, the story just so happens
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to be about an orange.
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I call it "Orange Slice".
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- Very nice!
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(laughing)
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- Every day, the little orange's mother
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would tell him not to run with knives.
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"You'll slice yourself wide open", she used to warn him,
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but did the little orange ever listen?
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He did not.
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- How could he?
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He had no ears.
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(laughing)
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- Please let me finish the creepy pasta.
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Breaks the mood.
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One day, the little orange was out playing with...
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- [Orange] His friends!
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- [Pasta] No, actually, he was playing with knives.
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- [Orange] Uh, knives are so dull!
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It should definitely be his friends.
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Orange you glad I'm contributing to the story?
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(laughing)
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- I am not, as a matter of fact.
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I'm a master creepy pasta writer.
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You need to let me tell my story the way I want to tell it.
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- Ah, come on!
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Let someone else take a stab at the story, would ya?
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- Huh? No!
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- I promise, I'll add a twist ending and everything!
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(laughing)
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(screaming)
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- Wow!
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- Wow, you guys, I just had the craziest dream!
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- Me too.
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- Really?
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The dream I was having was pretty boring.
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- Guys, don't worry.
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I cleaned up that whole creepy pasta mess,
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although, now we gotta clean up
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this other creepy pasta mess!
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(laughing)
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Ew!
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- Not to worry, fellas!
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Grapefruit's on it.
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Paper towels are right over here and...
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(snarling)
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and that wasn't very smart, was it, Grapefruit?
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(screaming)
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(spooky organ music)