20、 Obama
B1 中級 7 分類 收藏
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(creepy music)
(bats squealing)
(cackling)
- And even to this very day, I feel the insects
crawling inside me, in my skin, in my abdomen,
in my antenna!
(gasp)
- Oh snap! He turned into an insect in the end?
- Oh, I wouldn't like turning into an insect.
That would really bug me!
(laughing)
- Well, that's just great.
After that creepy pasta I feel like I'm covered in bugs!
I need a shower.
- That's good, you feel like you're covered in bugs!
That's how you know it's a good creepy pasta.
- Should we do another?
- Oh, do we have to?
I'm already really on edge,
(loud crash)
(screaming)
- Oh I apologize.
I hope I didn't startle you!
(laughing)
- No, it's just that, we were reading creepy pastas.
- Creepy pastas?
Why, those are my forte!
And trust me when I say, mine are to die for!
(laughing)
- Ah, I'm not scared.
You guys are scared!
- My first creepy pasta, perhaps my creepiest
is called "The Tag".
There once was a very small apple, that was annoyed
by that tag on his mattress that said "do not remove".
Every night, the tag tickled his tiny, nonexistent toes.
Finally, one day, he tore that tag off in frustration,
but heard a scream as he did.
The tiny apple looked all over the place,
but he could not figure out where the scream came from.
Later that night, as the diminutive apple
prepared for bed, the lights suddenly went out.
There was a slam, clatter.
The apple was very frightened,
not to mention very, very small.
- [Apple] Okay, we get it!
- [Pasta] Who was there, wondered the puny little apple.
What could it be?
As he reached for his flashlight,
a shadow appeared in the doorway.
Frantically, the minuscule apple tried to get the flashlight
to turn on, but it was far too big for him
to properly handle, because he was so tiny, you see.
Before he could react, the figure reached out
and tore the apple's tiny little stem clean off!
(screaming)
He screamed in agony and dropped the flashlight,
which finally flickered on to reveal...
the mattress!
(screaming)
- Wait, the mattress is exactly
who I thought it was gonna be.
- Guys? Where's Little Apple?
- Oh, he must have had to go use the bathroom.
- That's actually a good point.
He usually pees his pants at scary stories.
It's a good thing he made it to a bathroom this time.
- Huh, our little Apple's growing up!
- I wouldn't exactly say he's growing!
(laughing)
- Speaking of bathrooms, would you like to hear
my creepy pasta called "Toilet Monster"?
- I guess we have some time to kill
until Little Apple gets back!
- Time to kill indeed!
(laughing)
"Do not flush paper towels", read the sign above the toilet,
but the grapefruit could not be bothered to obey the rules.
He was, in his mind, too cool for the rules.
So, day after day, he flushed paper towels down the toilet.
"What's the worst thing that could happen?", he figured.
"The toilet gets clogged or something?"
But the grapefruit was wrong.
Because the warning sign was not posted
because the pipes might clog.
The sign was to deter people from inadvertently
feeding the toilet monster, who lived deep within the pipes.
Thanks to the grapefruit's negligence, day after day
the toilet monster feasted on its favorite food,
paper towels, and grew larger, and larger, until one day,
it grew too big for the toilet and burst out,
hungry for more paper towels!
As fate would have it,
the foolish grapefruit was holding the paper towel roll.
At that very moment, the toilet monster
devoured the paper towels,
and the grapefruit along with it!
(screaming)
- Hold on, now Grapefruit's missing!
- Oh, he must have needed to go buy socks or something!
- That makes no sense!
- Ah but you know what would make sense,
listening to another creepy pasta, courtesy of yours truly.
- No, thank you!
- I heard "Yes, please".
Very well, this one I like to call "Boaring".
Once upon a time, there was a boring pear,
who wrote boring math equations on the white board.
After boring his entire class half to death,
his incessant scrawling actually bored a hole
through the board.
The boring pear fell through the hole
in the board he had bored, and found himself
in a world filled with wild boars.
One of the boars charged toward him, and the pear screamed!
But the boar stopped in it's tracks.
"Why would I attack you?" asked the boar.
"You're one of us!"
The pear was very confused,
because he was most certainly not a boar.
And that's when the first tusk jutted out of his mouth!
Then another!
Then a tail
and a snout!
And before he knew it, he had become the only thing
he had ever known how to be,
an utter and complete boar.
- That wasn't a very scary ending!
- That's because I haven't gotten to the ending yet.
Do you know what those boars did, day in and day out,
for the rest of their boring boar lives?
- [Orange] Uh, what did they-
- [Pasta] Algebra!
(screaming)
- Oh, is it just me now?
Apparently so!
(laughing)
- Yeah, Pear must have left.
Maybe he had to rush out to see that new art exhibit
about slugs downtown.
You know the one.
- Well, actually, that does sound like Pear.
- Oh yeah, of course it does.
And now then, I've one last creepy pasta to tell,
and I assure you, it's going to slay!
(laughing)
- If the story's half as punny as you are,
this orange is juiced to hear it!
(laughing)
- As fate would have it, the story just so happens
to be about an orange.
I call it "Orange Slice".
- Very nice!
(laughing)
- Every day, the little orange's mother
would tell him not to run with knives.
"You'll slice yourself wide open", she used to warn him,
but did the little orange ever listen?
He did not.
- How could he?
He had no ears.
(laughing)
- Please let me finish the creepy pasta.
Breaks the mood.
One day, the little orange was out playing with...
- [Orange] His friends!
- [Pasta] No, actually, he was playing with knives.
- [Orange] Uh, knives are so dull!
It should definitely be his friends.
Orange you glad I'm contributing to the story?
(laughing)
- I am not, as a matter of fact.
I'm a master creepy pasta writer.
You need to let me tell my story the way I want to tell it.
- Ah, come on!
Let someone else take a stab at the story, would ya?
- Huh? No!
- I promise, I'll add a twist ending and everything!
(laughing)
(screaming)
- Wow!
- Wow, you guys, I just had the craziest dream!
- Me too.
- Really?
The dream I was having was pretty boring.
- Guys, don't worry.
I cleaned up that whole creepy pasta mess,
although, now we gotta clean up
this other creepy pasta mess!
(laughing)
Ew!
- Not to worry, fellas!
Grapefruit's on it.
Paper towels are right over here and...
(snarling)
and that wasn't very smart, was it, Grapefruit?
(screaming)
(spooky organ music)
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B1 中級

Annoying Orange - CREEPY PASTA #Shocktober

7 分類 收藏
林宜悉 發佈於 2020 年 2 月 25 日

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