it's about expressing your interest in someone you like

這是一種無威脅性且有趣的方式，

in a non-threatening and fun way

表達你對某人有興趣，

and it's easy to think that flirting is how you interact with someone in a conversation;

簡單來想，搭訕是與某人在對話中的互動方式，

but it really starts from the very first impression that you make on the other person.

但實際上是你對另一個人的第一印象開始的。

The trouble is that for a lot of people, flirting isn't something that comes naturally.

問題在於對很多人來說，搭訕不是順其自然發生的。

If I go to a bar and see a person I really like, and wanna introduce myself to them,

如果我去酒吧，看到一個我喜歡的人，然後我想要向他們自我介紹，

my brain says "alright,

我的腦告訴我：「好的，

good handshake, remember their name, remember your name, pick two."

握手、記住他們的名字、記住你的名字，選兩個做。」

Then, when things go south and I get out from the barstool to leave

然後，當事情不成功，我要從板凳離開時，

and hit my erection on the countertop, I get a little bit demotivated,

我的勃起撞到桌子，我變得有些沮喪，

but really it's important to keep in mind that:

但必須記得很重要的一點：

No-one can be a smooth operator from the get go,

沒有人可以從一開始就可以成功的，

it definitely takes some practice.

肯定需要一些練習。

So assuming you do manage to get through your introduction,

因此假設你設法完成你的自我介紹，

it's a good idea to establish some kind of physical rapport.

建立某種肢體的信賴關係也很重要。

And a good way to do this is to touch the other person on the elbow

做到這點的好方法就是當你說到某些對方覺得聰明或有趣的事情時，

when you say something they find clever or funny.

觸碰一下對方的手肘。

In other words, you don't need to worry about it.

換句話說，你不需要擔心這個。

Now, it's pretty easy to think

簡單來想，

"Hmm, I really like this girl, but I don't know what I should do..."

「恩 ... 我真的很喜歡這個女生，但我不知道應該怎麼做 ...」

And a really good idea is to practice your empathy

有個很好的方式就是運用你的同理心，

by imagining you're the girl, and thinking about what you would like a guy to say to "you",

想像你就是那個女生，你會希望其他男生跟「你」說些什麼，

even when you're talking about something like sex,

即使你們在談論關於性愛的事情，

one thing I've heard a lot from girls is

我在很多女生那聽到一件事，

"Yeah, this guy was great, but he just finished and then fell asleep, and didn't even think about how I felt."

「這個男人很好，但他性愛結束後就睡著了，甚至都沒有想過我的感受。」

So, the lesson I've learned there is if you wanna be better at pleasing a woman,

所以，從這裡我學到的是如果你想要取悅一個女人，

you really need to think about what it's like to be fucked by a dude.

你真的需要思考一下被男人做愛的感覺。

What's good about this is that because it's a thought experiment, you can do it whenever you have a free moment.

這是一個思想實驗，你有空的時候就可以想看看。

Whether you're on the bus, or at the gym,

不論你在公車上、健身房、

or just bent over the kitchen counter.

或彎腰靠在廚房的流理臺上。

So, a big part of flirting is teasing.

所以搭訕的很大部分是戲弄。

And this is essentially making small playful jabs at the other person

從本質來說就是戲弄一下對方，

to get a positive reaction, and elevate the mood.

以產生積極的反應和提高情緒。

Imagine a girl said to me:

想像一個女孩對我說：

"So, your last video had a good amount of views. Still staying up all night refreshing the page?"

「所以你上一部的影片觀看次數很高，現在仍在熬夜刷新頁面嗎？」

That would not be very good teasing because I'd be really worried about how she found out.

那不是好的戲法，因為我真的擔心她是怎麼知道的。

But if she said,

但如果她說：

"Damn, have you been working out? You're really starting to fill up that extra small shirt."

「天啊，你在健身嗎？你的襯衫快裝不下你的肌肉了。」

That'd be good teasing, because it has been my goal for a while.

這是很好的戲弄，因為這是我一直以來的目標。

Now, the way that guys and girls express their interest is very different,

男生和女生會用不同方式表達自己的興趣，

and generally the way that most girls will flirt with a guy

一般來說，大多數女生會藉由愛笑、

is by laughing a lot and touching them on the arm.

觸碰他們的手臂來調戲男生。

But, this is also how a lot of girls act platonically friendly,

但這也是很多女生做柏拉圖式地友好行為，

and there's not really anyway to know which it is

但你不會知道到底是哪一種意思，

until she tells you three years later when she already has a boyfriend.

直到三年後她告訴你她已經有男友了，你才會知道。

On the flip side,

另一方面，

guys tend to flirt with a lot less nuance

男生傾向搭訕得多，

and generally prefer to set up a situation where they either get a definite yes or no.

通常喜歡設置一個情況，讓他們可以得到確定的是或不是。

There's a few ways you can do this,

這裡有幾個方式你可以做的，

Uhm, you can explicitly ask them on a date,

你可以明確地詢問他們去約會、

go for a kiss, straight up ask them how they feel about you or just send a dick pic.

親吻一下、直接問他們對你的感覺、或是發生殖器官的照片。

Different guys have different styles, so, do what feels right for you.

不同男人有不同的風格，所以做適合自己的事就好。

Uhm, I like to send them at breakfast,

我喜歡在早餐時間寄訊息給他們，

that way, they have the whole day to respond.

這樣他們就可以整天回覆。

Usually go for natural window lighting,

通常使用自然的窗戶照明，

and use the macro setting, obviously.

並使用巨集設備。

All in all, I think everyone should put in an effort to improve their ability

總之，我認為每個人應該提升自己的能力，

to communicate honestly with someone they're interested in.

和他們感興趣的人誠實地交流。

If anything, its worth making the effort.

如果有的話，是值得付出努力的。

So if you do meet that perfect person for you,

如果你遇到適合你的完美人選，

you don't miss a golden opportunity, because of a lack of confidence.

不要因為缺乏自信而錯過黃金機會。

Just remember, I like to always think even if I screw up and a date goes poorly,

記住一點，即使我搞砸了、約會進展不順，

I can always go home that night and practice my empathy.

我總是會這樣想：我可以當天晚上回家練習我的同理心。