Today I have a special guest on the channel the author of international best-selling books "The Happiness Equation" and "The Book of Awesome", Neil Pasricha, and he's gonna talk to you about how to become tougher.

今天誠摯邀請到全球暢銷書籍 《快樂是可以練習的》、《生命中的美好》的作者 Neil Pasricha ，他將分享如何擁有強大的內心。

Take it away, Neil.

事不宜遲，開始吧！

In my late 20s my wife told me she didn't love me anymore and asked me for a divorce a few days later I lost one of my best friends from a suicide.

在我 20 好幾時，我的前妻跟我坦承不再愛我且想離婚，更糟的是，幾天後我得知我的好友自殺了。

I was in complete shock and ended up losing a lot of weight suddenly due to stress.

我變得失魂落魄，體重也掉了好幾公斤。

People at work would ask me what's your secret is this keto and I'd say no it's just no food no sleep.

同事問我減肥秘訣是不是靠生銅飲食，我回答這只是不吃不睡的結果罷了。

I had the raccoon eyes and dazed zombie look to prove it too.

不僅如此，我還有嚴重的黑眼圈跟凹陷的臉頰。

My parents became very worried about me so they put me in touch with a therapist.

我的父母十分擔心我，所以決定帶我去看心理治療師。

I had never seen a therapist before and I didn't want to start.

我從未，也不想開始去心理治療。

I thought they were for people with serious issues, real problems, but then when I started seeing one I basically bounced off the walls feeling great after each session.

起初我認為這地方只屬於有嚴重心理問題的人，但在經過幾次療程後我感覺好多了。

Why?

為什麼呢？

Well, therapy helped because it allowed me to spill my thoughts—my anxious thoughts, my bizarre thoughts, my wild thoughts whether they made sense or not.

這都要歸功於治療師使我把深藏在心中的種種想法都說了出來。

And my body felt the high of that crystallization and elation, that mental orgasm.

這使我將所有困擾與厭惡拋在腦後，且感到心靈舒暢。

The process helped me sort, clarify, and confirm my feelings and that ultimately helped me get tougher and move forward.

這個療程讓我理清了自己的情緒，最終幫助我走出來，變得更堅強。

I gained confidence to move out on my own, eventually begin dating again and slowly after working through a ton of confidence and comparison issues meet someone new who I fell in love with.

我鼓起勇氣搬出去住，漸漸地開始與人交往，最後在我完全走出來時再度墜入了愛河。

Very few of us have any kind of practice, where we speak to a pro about her thoughts or where we do something really proactive to help ourselves process them.

我們並沒有為了這段療程去練習與怎麼與治療師溝通，或是積極地尋求方法。

Therapy is great, but it is very hard to access, I mean it's expensive and there are often cultural or social stigmas.

治療師雖然很有幫助，但很難有機會接觸到，心理治療既昂貴又會受到他人的異樣眼光。

So, I developed a simple science-backed tool so that you can get many of the same benefits without having to go to therapy.

因此，我發明了一種有科學根據的方法來達到跟看診一樣的效果。

It's a two-minute morning practice that help stuff in your mind each day.

只需要每天早上 2 分鐘的練習就能幫你整理思緒。

How does it work?

該怎麼做呢？

Every morning you grab an index card and write three prompts: "I will let go of...", "I am grateful for..." and "I will focus on...".

每天早上拿出一張索引小卡寫上「我決定放手...」、「我很感激...」以及「我要專注在...上」。

I do this every morning now.

我每天早上都這麼做。

So, for example, in a recent entry I wrote: I will let go of comparing myself to Tim Ferriss, I am grateful for the smell of wet leaves on my driveway, I will focus on writing a new chapter of my next book.

舉我最近寫的例子，我寫道我會停止拿自己跟 Tim Ferriss 比較、我很感激路上的雨帶來的清香和我今天將專注於撰寫我的新書。

It takes only two minutes to do and it will help your mind toughen and ready itself up for the day.

你一天只要花 2 分鐘就可以強化你的內心，使自己整理好情緒。

Why does it work?

為什麼這會起作用呢？

Well, for the first prompt "I will let go of...".

先從第一個「我決定放手...」說起。

Research published in Science magazine, by neuroscientist Stephanie Bryson and her colleagues, called Don't Look Back in Anger: Responsiveness to Missed Chances in Successful and non-Successful Aging, show that minimizing regrets as we age creates greater contentment and happiness.

一個由神經科學家 Stephanie Bryson 和她的同事所做的「後悔與成功」研究中顯示，減少後悔的次數能大幅提升快樂程度。

The research also shows that holding on to regrets causes us to take more aggressive and risky actions in the future.

當人們越是緊抓著過往的錯誤不放，越有可能在未來做出冒險的行為。

So, the strongest and happiest people are aware of regrets they harbor and then choose to let them go.

因此，強大且快樂的人能意識到心中的悔恨而選擇放手。

What does that mean?

這代表什麼呢？

Well, it means, crazy as it sounds, whenever we write out our little anxieties they disappear.

這暗示著只要我們將心中的焦慮與擔心寫下來，最終它都會消失不見。

I have five pounds of blubber on my stomach, I'm worried about what school my kid will go to next year, I think I said the wrong thing in an important email yesterday.

我肚子上有贅肉、我不知道我的小孩會上什麼學校、我覺得我在昨天的信件中失言了。

Want to know what happens when I flip back in my journal weeks later?

想知道當我回顧自己的日記時發生了什麼事嗎？

Oh, I think to myself, what email was I worried about again?

我忘記自己到底是因為哪封信件而備感焦慮了。

I often can't even remember what the cause for concern was.

我常常回憶不起當時自己是在擔心什麼。

What about the big anxieties?

那如果是很令人掛心的事呢？

Say your mom is sick, gravely ill these may be her final days, will the two minute morning practice still help?

假設你的母親生了重病，只剩下短短幾天，這個 2 分鐘練習會管用嗎？

Yes, it will because you're saying it, you're moving it, you're processing it.

當然，因為當你說出來時，你就是在振作了。

You're admitting how you feel about it, so the heaviness can be examined and acknowledged.

你在正視自己的內心，心中的痛苦正在被你審視與接納。

For the second prompt "I am grateful for..."

再來說說第二點「我很感激...」。

Research by professors Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough show that if you write down five gratitudes a week you'll be measurably happier and even physically healthier over a 10-week period.

專家 Robert Emmons 和 Michael McCullough 的實驗顯示只要你一週寫下 5 個讓你心存感激的事件，在經過 10 週後，你會變得更加快樂、健康。

You are really helping your brain build stronger neural pathways towards the positive rather than the negative places our minds naturally want to go.

這麼做你就能在負面情緒中找出正向的那一面。

And the more specific, the better.

當你寫得越詳細，效果越好。

Writing down family, food, and job or something similarly vague over and over doesn't actually cause any spike in happiness.

僅是寫下家庭、食物、工作或不明確的事件一點幫助都沒有。

Take the example I just mentioned about your mom being gravely ill even, writing down gratitudes will force your brain to find little positives even amidst a bigger negative situation.

就以剛剛母親生重病的例子來說，在這種情況寫下令人感激的事物可以使你在極度悲觀中找出一束光。

I got to read my mom the book she read to me when I was a kid, nurse Jasmine brought me a coffee, my kids all came home for the weekend for the first time this year.

例如我唸了一本小時候母親常唸給我聽的故事書、Jasmine 護士今天買了一杯咖啡給我、我的孩子今年第一次回來探望我。

It's a simple practice that allows for a quick therapeutic strengthening and little moment of presence from our future focused minds.

這個簡單的練習不僅可以強化心靈，還能訓練我們未來正向思考的能力。

And now, finally, the last prompt, what does "I will focus on..." help us do?

最後一點「我將專注在...」能怎麼幫助我們呢？

Well, one thing that causes anxiety is your gigantic could do or should do list that you face every morning.

造成焦慮很大一個原因在於每早你都要面對你人生中的「可以做的事」與「必須做的事」。

The last prompt helps you strip away the endless lists of things you could do and focus instead on the thing you actually will do.

最後一個方法能夠幫助你擺脫空想而專注在那些你真的會去實行的事情。

Why?

為什麼呢？

Because if you don't, you will mentally revisit your could-do list all day and that will only cause decision fatigue.

因為如果你不這麼做，你就會一直空想而不去實行，這樣只會造成決策疲勞罷了。

Decision-making uses a particularly complex part of the brain and we are wasting energy anytime we're unfocused.

人在做決定時會消耗大量的腦力，而當我們漫無目的的空想時就是在浪費精力。

As Florida State professor of psychology Roy Baumeister and New York Times journalist John Tierney said in the book "Willpower, Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength..."

如同心理學家 Roy Baumeister 和紐約時報記者 John Tierney 在《抗拒誘惑的成功心理學》中說道...

Decision fatigue helps explain why ordinarily sensible people get angry at colleagues and families, splurge on clothes buy junk food at the supermarket and can't resist the dealer's offer to rust-proof their new car.

決策疲勞可以解釋為什麼敏感的人較易怒、傾向花大錢買服飾或是買一堆垃圾食物，且他們無法抗拒業者提供的額外服務。

No matter how rational and high-minded you try to be you can't make decision after decision without paying a biological price.

不論你多努力在做決定時保持理性，你無法在不感疲倦的狀況下接二連三地做決定。

it's different from ordinary physical fatigue you're not consciously aware of being tired, but you're low on mental energy.

做決策後的疲憊與一般身體的疲憊不同，它屬於心理上的疲倦。

The simple two-minute warning practice helps develop mental toughness right before you get out of bed.

這個簡單的 2 分鐘早晨訓練能強化你的內心。

"I will let go of..." helps avoid revisiting a worry throughout the day.

「我決定放手...」避免我們活在焦慮中。

"I am grateful for..." helps be more positive every day.

「我很感激...」使我們正向思考。

"I will focus on..." keeps your attention on a big goal.

「我要專注在...上」幫助我們朝夢想前進。

Do this every day and I guarantee that you'll find that less things bother you.

保持這個習慣，我保證你會發現越來越少事物能使你煩心。

Your mood becomes improved overall and you become tougher.

你的心境會變得更堅強。

I hope you guys learned a lot today from Neal.

我希望你們今天有從 Neal 身上學到些什麼。

The strategy he just shared is only one of nine powerful different concepts that he talks about in detail in his latest book "You are Awesome: How to Navigate Change Wrestle With Failure and Live an Intentional Life", which just came out.

他今天所分享的方法僅是他近期發表的新書中九個方法之中的一項。

I highly recommend you guys to check it out by clicking on the link in the description box below. Besides that guys, stay tuned.

我強烈建議你們點擊下方資訊欄去看看。敬請期待下回！