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  • - Wait, is Robert Downey Jr's Dolittle worse than Cats?

  • Fans of the Marvel Cinematic Universe

  • have been long waiting to see what Robert Downey Jr

  • would get up to after his memorable turn

  • as Tony Stark AKA Iron Man AKA the heart of the MCU.

  • And, when it turned out to be a new take on Dr Dolittle,

  • we all scratched our heads a bit.

  • But we're like, sure okay, why not?

  • Then, when we saw the Dolittle trailer

  • with the weird choice of a pseudo Welsh accent going on,

  • we developed a scalp issue due to all the head scratching,

  • we went to the doctor and got an ointment so we're fine

  • but it's worth noting that this is a kids movie

  • and wasn't made for us, which is fine,

  • not everything needs to be made for us specifically.

  • However, with the reviews for Dolittle coming out this week,

  • it feels like this movie might not be for anyone

  • and maybe, just maybe, Cats might be getting

  • knocked off its pedestal as the most (bleep) film

  • in recent memory featuring CGI animals played by celebs

  • in favor of another (bleep) film

  • full of CGI animals played by celebs.

  • So let's check out these reviews to see

  • if it's really as bad as people are saying.

  • As always, we'll start with the positive.

  • Vanity Fair's Richard Lawson had this to say,

  • "Technically speaking Dolittle is a film made for children.

  • "So we should probably mostly view it through that lens.

  • "In that regard, the movie is perfectly okay.

  • "The little ones in my audience sounded plenty enthralled

  • "in the beginning stretches of the movie,

  • "laughing when the one computer animal

  • "hit the computer animal on the head,

  • "shrieking with delight whenever a kooky-cute

  • "new character popped up on screen."

  • Well that's not so bad and, in fact, it seems to be

  • the trend for the positive points of the movie,

  • it's a serviceable movie for its target audience,

  • children who enjoy talking animals.

  • And, to be honest, isn't that all children?

  • Maybe this thing might become a hit after all.

  • (cheering)

  • Of course, not everyone was so kind.

  • Matt Singer over at Screen Crush

  • ponders some of the choices made saying,

  • "It appears that, at a certain point,

  • "someone in a position of power determined that this movie

  • "could not be saved but it could be shortened.

  • "And so Dolittle is absolutely relentless,

  • "a non-stop 100 minute assault of putrid gags,

  • "abysmal stunts and celebrity vocal cameos."

  • He went on to say, "Dolittle is the kind of bad movie

  • "that puts the badness of other films in perspective.

  • "The current bad movie du jour, Cats,

  • "is bizarre and alarming but at least it's consistent

  • "in it's presentation of a nightmarish world

  • "populated only by weirdly sexual human cat hybrids.

  • "Cats is deranged but it's still something."

  • In the words of a talking dog

  • that probably appears in Dolittle, woof.

  • IGN's review doesn't add any hope,

  • Dolittle is structured like it was written

  • by a room full of monkeys lazily

  • banging on typewriters between (bleep) slinging,

  • then cut together by a blind man with broken fingers.

  • And then, okay you might be thinking,

  • so technically it's a mess but is it entertaining?

  • Not really.

  • To be fair if there was a movie to be written by monkeys

  • with command of English language, this would be apt.

  • Vulture says it all in their headline,

  • Dolittle is anti-cinema.

  • And ends with the line, Dolittle is a calamity for the ages.

  • David Sims over at The Atlantic seemed baffled by the film.

  • Characters appear and vanish

  • from the action with no explanation.

  • At one point, Dolittle and company are welcomed aboard

  • a new boat by a bearded man who announces, "I'm Jeff."

  • And is never seen or mentioned again.

  • Somehow the supporting cast

  • of humans emerges largely unscathed.

  • Antonio Banderas is a compelling pirate king,

  • Michael Sheen is a hilariously preening villain

  • but that barely matters in a movie

  • where 90% of the dialogue consists of bargain basement

  • sitcom zingers delivered by ducks and squirrels.

  • Rolling Stones' Peter Travers laments

  • what the film has done to RDJ.

  • "This out and out disaster dissolves

  • "in a puddle of botched intentions that will leave children

  • "sad and confused and adults scratching their heads."

  • He goes on to say, "There really is no excuse

  • "for the harm done to Downey, a world class actor

  • "who's sucked down into this quicksand of a movie

  • "that even Iron Man couldn't salvage.

  • "Let's start with that accent: Is it British?

  • "Welsh? "Scottish?

  • "Some amalgam of all three?

  • "His dialogue appears to be dubbed;

  • "at times, his lips don't move with he's saying.

  • "And when he is actually decipherable, it's all in service

  • "of a plot that defies logic or basic human interest."

  • Ty Burr at the Boston Globe compares the film

  • to the original Hugh Lofting books,

  • "I definitely don't recall a scene in the books in which the

  • "good doctor has to perform a rectal probe on said dragon,

  • "with much comic passing of gas.

  • "If that strikes you as hilarious, by all means go with God.

  • "Otherwise, stick with the books."

  • Actually we're gonna count this one as a positive.

  • In fact that sentence made some of us

  • in the office wanna see the film more than

  • anything else has, we're looking at you Steven.

  • Let's see if any other reviews

  • follow up on this dragon's ass business.

  • Our colleagues over at /Film mention

  • the scene in question saying,

  • "This is a movie that features a scene

  • "in which Dolittle sticks a leek up a dragon's ass

  • "to dislodge skeletons, pieces of armor

  • "and what looks to be the entire Spanish Inquisition.

  • "At the end, the dragon rewards him with a tender

  • "thank you and a long, drawn out fart in his face."

  • Okay you know what?

  • We've changed our minds we're totally on board

  • for this film no ifs, ands or buts about it.

  • (farting)

  • But what do you folks think?

  • Are you on board to see how bad it can be?

  • Or does Dolittle do little for you?

  • Are you impressed we restrained ourselves

  • with only one Dolittle pun?

  • And could RDJ's rumored cameo in Black Widow

  • be just to wash away the bad taste of Dolittle?

  • Or will it do little for him?

  • Let's discuss.

  • Thanks for watching, if you enjoyed what you saw

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  • so you can be up to date on all the latest theories,

  • news and rumors in the pop culture world.

  • (upbeat music)

- Wait, is Robert Downey Jr's Dolittle worse than Cats?

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小羅伯特-唐尼的《杜麗泰爾》比《貓》更糟糕嗎?(Nerdist News w/Amy Vorpahl) (Is Robert Downey Jr.’s “Dolittle” Worse than “Cats”? (Nerdist News w/ Amy Vorpahl))

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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