And it's only going to get worse because of climate change.

而且只會越來越糟，因為氣候變遷的關係。

A.k.a., for you all you Boomers and Gen-Xers out there, "global warming."

對老一輩或 40 到 60 歲的人來說，這稱作全球暖化。

A.k.a., for all you millennials, yo, the polar ice caps are totally ghosting us.

對二三十歲的人來說，極地冰蓋都在搞失蹤。

A.k.a., for my Gen-Z viewers I would do a TikTok, but I have no idea what the hell a TikTok is.

要解釋給 Z 世代網路兒童聽的話，我本來想錄個抖音，但我根本不懂抖音到底是什麼鬼。

I'll be real. I don't know. I don't get it.

我是認真的，我不知道，我真的不懂。

Now, for the longest time, I didn't realize how important climate change was.

其實，過去很長很長一段時間以來，我一直都不明白氣候變遷有多嚴重。

You know, it's like sunscreen or turning off your phone's AirDrop when you're in public.

就像防曬乳或是在公眾場合關掉手機的 AirDrop 一樣，其實很重要。

You know, if you don't already do that, you should.

嘿，如果你還不習慣要關，你該改改了。

Because the next time you're at the airport, yeah, planes aren't the only thing you're going to see take off if you know what I mean.

不然下次到機場的時候，除了飛機以外，你還會看到其他東西「升起」，你懂的。

Mm-hmm!

嗯哼。

He knows what I'm talking about. He sends them.

他知道我在說什麼，他都會傳那種照片。

I see you over there.

我抓到你了。

Kidding!

開玩笑的啦！

It's such a big issue, and yo, you really understand it when you talk to your friends with kids, because they're so focused on the future.

這真的是很大的問題，只要和有小孩的朋友討論你就感覺得出來，因為他們非常專注在未來上。

It feels like climate change is this huge disaster that everyone can see coming, but no one can stop, like a 70-year-old white guy getting elected president.

氣候變遷感覺像是大家都預料得到的災難，但沒有人阻止得了，就像一個七十歲的老白人當選總統一樣。

And it's frustrating, because there are still people who don't even believe it's happening.

而且更讓人不爽的是，甚至還有人不相信氣候變遷正在發生。

Italy recently became the first country to require their schools to teach climate change and global warming.

義大利最近成了第一個要求所有學校要宣導氣候變遷和全球暖化的國家。

Yeah, amazing.

對，很棒。

Meanwhile, in America, we still have people who are like...

但這個時候，美國還有人在說：

"Well, if global warming is real, how did Frozen get a sequel?"

「如果全球暖化是真的，《冰雪奇緣》怎麼還會有續集？」

I mean, it has to be tough to be a climate scientist.

不是我在說，氣候學家一定很難當。

Think about it.

想想看。

You spent decades warning people about this oncoming disaster, and nothing.

你花了好幾十年警告大眾這個即將來臨的災難，沒人鳥你。

And then The Walking Dead comes out, and everyone runs out and buys zombie apocalypse kits.

然後影集《陰屍路》一播出，大家就衝去買殭屍末日緊急避難包。

Like, what's happening?

搞什麼東西？

But if we can't agree on the facts, we can't solve the problem.

但如果我們不能在事實上達成共識，我們就沒辦法解決問題。

And I'm sick of hearing that this is all just a hoax from conspiracy theorists.

我不想再聽到那些陰謀論者說，氣候變遷只是個騙局。

Like, you idiots, can't you see what's happening on our big, flat Earth?

你們這些白癡，難道你看不出我們這個又大又平的地球怎麼了嗎？

So, I've been trying to reduce my carbon footprint.

所以呢，我最近都在試著減少我的碳足跡。

And because enough people have harassed me online about it, I've stopped using plastic straws.

還有因為網路上很多人罵我，所以我也不再用塑膠吸管了。

Now, I understand that plastic straws are dangerous to wildlife, and we should all stop using them but here's the thing.

我知道塑膠吸管對野生動物很危險，我們都該停止使用，但重點是...

It's important not to focus on bullying people for using them because then we lose sight of the bigger picture.

我們不該放大檢視並霸凌那些使用塑膠吸管的人，因為這樣我們就會忽略大局。

And did you know this?

而且你知道嗎？

Cigarette butts and balloons have actually been proven to have more of a negative impact on the environment.

事實證明，菸蒂和氣球對環境造成的破壞更大。

So before you leave a mean comment on Instagram of someone drinking from a straw, make sure you take down that picture of all those balloon at little Timmy's 5th birthday party.

所以下次你在別人用吸管喝飲料的 IG 貼文底下酸言酸語前，記得先刪掉 Timmy 小弟弟五歲生日派對都是氣球的照片。

Also, take down that picture of Timmy with all those cigarette butts.

也要刪掉 Timmy 和那些菸蒂的照片。

What is (are) you doing?!

你在幹嘛？！

And the next time you feel good about refusing a straw while you're on a date at Chili's...

下次你去平價連鎖餐廳 Chili's 約會然後因為不使用吸管而自我感覺良好時...

Think long and hard about the fact about that the meat in your bacon cheeseburger contributes to 25 percent of greenhouse-gas emissions.

好好想清楚，你吃的培根起司漢堡裡的肉占了全球溫室氣體排放量的 25 %。

Facts!

是真的！

And then think long and hard about the fact that you took your date to Chili's.

然後還要好好想清楚，你竟然帶你的約會對象去 Chili's 這種地方！

Sir!

先生，有沒有搞錯！

Right now, not enough people care about climate change.

現在還不夠多人關心氣候變遷的問題。

And, honestly if even Leonardo DiCaprio can't make us care, then we're doomed.

說實在的，如果連李奧納多狄卡皮歐都沒辦法讓我們在乎，我們真的完蛋了。

I mean, he fought an iceberg and lost and still wants to save them.

我是說，他輸給了冰山，但還是想拯救冰山。

Though I guess he has to think of the world his 22-year-old girlfriends will have to grow up in.

不過我猜有可能是因為他還要為自己 22 歲女友日後成長的環境多多著想。