Placeholder Image

字幕列表 影片播放

  • Less than an hour ago,

  • President Trump finished

  • his third State of the Union address.

  • Now, the State of the Union has been going on

  • for hundreds of years. I know that.

  • But-but when you take a step back,

  • you have to admit, it's kind of weird as a tradition, right?

  • 'Cause why does the president get to give

  • his own job evaluation?

  • That's strange. Nobody else gets to do that.

  • He's just up there, like, "My economy, the best ever.

  • "My military, the best ever.

  • "My children,

  • "eh, D-plus.

  • Eric, Eric, you're holding us down."

  • But this year's State of the Union was extra weird,

  • because, in case you forgot,

  • it's happening right in the middle of Trump's impeachment.

  • Right? So, for months, Democrats have been saying

  • that Trump is a threat to democracy

  • and a danger to the republic.

  • But now they just have to sit there and clap

  • while he gives a speech.

  • That is wild. It's like two di--

  • It's-it's like you're in the middle of firing someone

  • who's belligerent at work,

  • but then you get interrupted by their birthday party.

  • You know what I mean? It's like,

  • "You were caught stealing, Jake. You're always late.

  • "You're a sc... ♪ Happy birthday to you

  • Happy birth... ♪ "You're fired.

  • To-to you. ♪

  • (quietly): I'm gonna kill you."

  • Now, not everyone,

  • not everyone was willing to deal with tonight's awkwardness.

  • At least ten Democrats decided that they were gonna boycott

  • the speech, including Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.

  • -(cheering and applause) -Right? Who tweeted,

  • who tweeted-- and I love this--

  • she was like, "None of this is normal,

  • and I will not legitimize it."

  • Which makes sense. And I'm totally gonna use that excuse

  • to get out of any plans in the future.

  • I'm just gonna be like, "It is not normal

  • "to throw a gender reveal party.

  • I will not legitimize it!"

  • But for those who did show up,

  • they got to witness a very awkward start

  • to the State of the Union, where Nancy Pelosi tried

  • to shake Trump's hand but he was having none of it.

  • (applause)

  • (audience oohing)

  • Ooh.

  • That's embarrassing.

  • That's embarrassing. Now, look,

  • either Trump didn't see Pelosi's hand

  • or he just didn't want to shake it.

  • But, honestly, I think it was probably for the best.

  • Yeah. Because she's wearing a white suit. Yeah.

  • And then she'd have nowhere to wipe off the chicken grease

  • that's always on the president's hands.

  • That combined with spray tan, it doesn't come out.

  • But awkward handshake aside,

  • Trump was focused tonight,

  • and he dove right into his greatest hits.

  • I am thrilled to report to you tonight

  • that our economy is the best it has ever been.

  • Our families are flourishing.

  • Our values are renewed.

  • Our pride is restored.

  • The state of our union

  • is stronger than ever before.

  • (cheering and applause)

  • (laughter)

  • (cheering and applause)

  • Oh, man.

  • Oh, man. You know what I love about old black people's faces?

  • They always tell the truth. Always tell the truth.

  • 'Cause you can tell Congressman James Clyburn over here

  • did not agree with that one. Like, look at that.

  • That's the face of every old-timer in the barbershop

  • when someone says any basketball player is better than Jordan.

  • They're just like, "Come on, man.

  • "He got six rings,

  • "and he beat the Monstars.

  • Come on, man."

  • Now, traditionally, traditionally,

  • the State of the Union is more about

  • what the president has done and what he plans to do.

  • But, tonight, Trump took a lot of time out of his speech

  • to show off his player-hating degree.

  • If we hadn't reversed the failed economic policies

  • of the previous administration,

  • the world would not now be witnessing

  • this great economic success.

  • My administration reversed the failing policies

  • of the previous administration on Cuba.

  • Under the last administration,

  • more than ten million people were added

  • to the food stamp rolls.

  • In eight years under the last administration,

  • over 300,000 working-age people dropped out of the workforce.

  • Come on. Really?

  • It's been three years since Obama's been out

  • of the White House, but, still, Trump is obsessed with him.

  • He's just after-- I wonder if he does this with Melania, too.

  • You know? Just like, "Remember your ex, Ivan?

  • "Well, guess what, he still works at Slovenian Food Locker.

  • And I bet he never got you your own bedroom to sleep in."

  • And you may remember, you may remember,

  • last year, Trump took a lot of flak

  • for delivering a State of the Union address

  • during Black History Month

  • and barely mentioning black people.

  • But this year, the commander in chief

  • rode in on the soul train.

  • African-American youth unemployment

  • has reached an all-time low.

  • African-American poverty has declined

  • to the lowest rate ever recorded.

  • We achieved record and permanent funding

  • for our nation's historically black colleges

  • and universities.

  • Opportunity Zones,

  • a plan spearheaded by Senator Tim Scott

  • -as part of our great Republican tax cuts. -(applause, cheering)

  • Opportunity Zones are helping Americans,

  • like Army veteran Tony Rankins.

  • A few weeks ago, I signed a bill

  • promoting Charles McGee

  • to "Brigadier General."

  • -Thank you, sir. -(cheers and applause)

  • Damn. Donald Trump made sure

  • that this time, his speech was a lot more black.

  • Yeah, although I do think he went too far

  • when he delivered the rest of the speech in a do-rag.

  • -That was a bit extreme. -(laughter)

  • Was a bit extreme.

  • Now, of course...

  • Now, of course, no Trump speech would be complete

  • without an absolute blatant lie.

  • And for tonight's address,

  • Trump went with an old classic, and that is

  • that he's the champion of health care.

  • I've also made an ironclad pledge to American families.

  • We will always protect patients with preexisting conditions.

  • (cheers and applause)

  • Really?

  • That lie is so extreme that if Trump was Pinocchio,

  • he would have impaled Mitch McConnell in his seat.

  • (laughter)

  • Just stabbed him right in the chest.

  • "Muh. Joke's on you. I'm all skin. Muh."

  • (laughter)

  • -Because... -(applause)

  • Because here's the truth. Here's the truth, right?

  • Trump tried to kill protections

  • for preexisting conditions when he went after Obamacare.

  • And right now, right now, his administration is in court

  • trying to kill it again.

  • So him claiming to be the champion

  • of protecting preexisting conditions

  • is like the Coronavirus being like,

  • "I love Chinese people. I really do! I really do!"

  • (laughter)

  • But if there was one theme for tonight's State of the Union,

  • it was Trump doing what he does best--

  • creating a show made for TV.

  • TRUMP: I can proudly announce tonight

  • that an Opportunity Scholarship has become available.

  • It's going to you, and you will soon be heading

  • to the school of your choice.

  • (cheers and applause)

  • And Rush, in recognition

  • of all that you have done for our nation,

  • I am proud to announce tonight

  • that you will be receiving our country's

  • highest civilian honor--

  • the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

  • (cheers and applause)

  • Tonight, we have a very special surprise.

  • I am thrilled to inform you

  • that your husband is back from deployment.

  • He is here with us tonight,

  • and we couldn't keep him waiting any longer!

  • (cheers and applause)

  • Okay, he might not be a great president,

  • but you have to admit, this man knows how to put on a show.

  • 'Cause the entire night, he just kept announcing surprise

  • after surprise after surprise.

  • Like, I thought by the end of the night, he was gonna go,

  • "Believe it or not, folks, I've locked up Hillary Clinton!

  • "Bring out the cage!

  • "Bring out the cage, Jeffrey Epstein!

  • That's right, folks! Surprise, surprise!"

  • (laughter)

  • So, that was the final State of the Union of Trump's first term,

  • and judging by the 212 standing ovations on the Republican side,

  • they're loving their guy.

  • But as for the Democrats,

  • I think Nancy Pelosi's actions speak louder than words.

  • -(applause and cheering) -Thank you. God bless you.

  • And God bless America.

  • Thank you very much.

  • (indistinct chatter)

  • LESTER HOLT: A stunning moment here

  • at the end of the president's speech.

  • Nancy Pelosi tearing up what appeared to be a copy

  • -of the president's speech. -WOMAN: Wow.

  • -Holy shit! -(laughter)

  • Nancy Pelosi has done it again.

  • I feel like every year, she finds a new way

  • to show Trump just how little she thinks

  • of him and his speech.

  • Because last year, you remember, was the sideways clap.

  • -You remember that? Yeah? -(laughter)

  • And then this year, she rips up his speech.

  • Trump better pray he doesn't get another State of the Union,

  • because at this rate, next time, she's just gonna show up

  • and throw vegetables at him during the speech.

  • He'll be like, "No. Please, no vegetables! No!

  • I'd rather be reimpeached!"

  • Now, on a normal night,

  • the State of the Union would be the major news,

  • but right now--

  • and here's something you only hear every four years--

  • everyone is talking about Iowa.

  • -Yeah. -(laughter)

  • Because last night was the Iowa Caucuses, right?

  • The first vote of the Democratic primary campaign.

  • And normally, we would know by now who'd won.

  • In fact, normally, we would have known last night.

  • But this year, Democrats decided to use a new app

  • to help count the votes,

  • and, uh, it has not gone as planned.

  • The only results from the Iowa Caucus

  • at this hour are chaos and confusion.

  • Chaos, confusion, meltdown--

  • pick your adjective to describe Iowa Caucuses.

  • What a mess! This is not the finish that anyone expected.

  • It certainly was a mess,

  • and some here are calling it a disaster.

  • WOMAN 4: Organizers in the state cite a domino effect

  • of problems for the delay.

  • Several issues with the new app

  • where results were to be inputted.

  • They had a-a really crummy app

  • that, uh, screwed up the entire thing.

  • Right now, no idea when we are going to know the results.

  • So, everyone really is just waiting

  • for these official results...

  • So, we wait, and at the moment, we have nothing.

  • (laughter)

  • You know... you know what I love about cable news in America--

  • right?-- is their dedication to filling air time

  • with absolutely nothing.

  • Right? 'Cause they're like, "We're not getting any results.

  • Uh, nothing is happening."

  • It's like, okay, do you guys want to cover the coronavirus

  • or some other international news in the meantime?

  • It's like, "No, no, we'll just keep talking

  • "about how nothing is happening.

  • "Anything yet? No? Nothing?

  • More nothing? Okay. Uh-huh, uh, more nothing? Yeah?"

  • But yes, the app that the Democrats commissioned

  • to make vote-counting easier ended up malfunctioning

  • and screwing up the entire night.

  • And I guess, what do you expect?

  • I mean, the average age of the party leadership

  • is, like, 85 years old.

  • Right? What do they know about apps?

  • The only thing they know about apps

  • is that you get one for free with the early bird special.

  • That's it. And honestly, it's a little embarrassing

  • for the world's greatest democracy

  • to have such a hard time counting votes.

  • I mean, America is usually the one

  • teaching the rest of the world how to vote.

  • But maybe next time Africa should send

  • some election observers to Iowa, that's what they should do.

  • They'd be like, "Ah, I can fix this for you, ah?

  • "Yeah, we've been fixing elections for many years.

  • -Don't worry." -(laughter, applause)

  • So...

  • so, because of this app,

  • the whole night was thrown into utter chaos.

  • Nobody knew what the problem was.

  • Nobody knew who won, and eventually,

  • the candidates got tired of waiting.

  • And they came out to try and spin the non-results

  • in the best way they could: "Oh, we're happy, things are great,

  • this is gonna be good for us."

  • But one candidate in particular took that to the next level.

  • So, we're still waiting for any results

  • from last night's Iowa Democratic caucuses.

  • But... that hasn't stopped candidates

  • from spinning the nonexistent results.

  • Former mayor of South Bend Pete Buttigieg

  • declared victory overnight. Listen.

  • We know, by the time it's all said and done,

  • Iowa, you have shocked the nation.

  • By all indications, we are going on to New Hampshire victorious!

  • (cheering)

  • (laughter)

  • Well, okay, Pete.

  • You're just gonna come out and claim victory

  • even though no results were in at that point?

  • That's a pretty bold move.

  • I mean, maybe that's just his thing.

  • Maybe Pete does that. Anytime anything's ambiguous,

  • no one knows, he just jumps in. You know, like,

  • (British accent): "Now, nobody knows who built Stonehenge..."

  • He's like, "Oh, it was me, it was me, I did it. I did it."

  • So the whole night was chaos.

  • And what's interesting, what's really interesting

  • is that even before last night's meltdown,

  • people were worried about relying on this app.

  • Right? But the head of Iowa's Democratic Party

  • was like, "Don't worry, baby, we got this."

  • NEWSMAN: The day before the caucus

  • we asked state party chairman Troy Price

  • if he had any fear about tech glitches

  • or other problems.

  • Do you have a nightmare scenario,

  • and if so, what do you do about it?

  • These are probably the most prepared we've ever been

  • as party for these caucuses.

  • We've run through a few different scenarios,

  • but I can tell you we're ready.

  • (groaning, laughter)

  • (applause)

  • This is the most prepared you've ever been as a party?

  • So what would have happened if you didn't prepare?

  • "Bad news, everyone. The app automatically changed

  • "all of the votes to the GEICO Lizard.

  • Uh, so he's our nominee now."

  • Now, even though last night was a disaster,

  • honestly, the caucus system wasn't that great

  • even before the app meltdown.

  • It's a crazy, crazy system.

  • Because in the Iowa caucus, you don't just come in and vote.

  • It's a whole complicated system where you spend hours

  • walking around and building coalitions in a hot gym.

  • You know? It's like a high school dance

  • without the possibility of a hand job.

  • -(laughter) -And...

  • and apparently, when there's a tie,

  • that's when the rules get really dumb.

  • There's 11 delegates to split up,

  • and you can't split 'em in half, so the fairest way to decide

  • is a coin toss.

  • She's gonna call heads or tails.

  • -WOMAN: Okay. -WOMAN 2: Tails.

  • (indistinct talking)

  • -Okay... -(laughter)

  • It's... it's bad enough to break ties with a coin flip,

  • but it looked like this guy didn't even know how to do...

  • a coin flip.

  • You... you can't have people that young flipping coins.

  • They don't use real money anymore.

  • We're lucky he didn't open the Venmo on his phone

  • -and just throw it up in the air. -(laughter)

  • What was that?

  • (applause)

  • So, the Iowa caucuses were a mess,

  • and it never would have happened

  • if the Democrats didn't try to rely on that new fancy app.

  • Luckily, though, luckily... there's another hot new solution

  • that just came out of Silicon Valley

  • that can fix voting forever.

  • WOMAN: Introducing the latest in voting technology,

  • thousands of years in the making.

  • Meet... paper--

  • the newest innovation in counting ballots.

  • It's only half a millimeter thin,

  • fits in your pocket, and holds its charge forever.

  • Paper has a user-friendly interface

  • for election officials of any age,

  • with cutting-edge technology.

  • Really cutting-edge.

  • (gasps) Ahh.

  • Available in both mini and pro models.

  • Best of all, it's hacker-proof,

  • and always beats rock.

  • PAyPR. Why complicate things.

  • I can't wait for the future.

Less than an hour ago,

字幕與單字

單字即點即查 點擊單字可以查詢單字解釋

B1 中級 美國腔

特朗普2020年國情諮文 (Trump 2020 State of the Union)

  • 83 3
    Amy.Lin 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
影片單字