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  • Oh, gross!

    噢,真噁心!

  • You guys realize Valentine's Day is just a commercial holiday?

    你們有發現情人節只是一個商業節日嗎?

  • It means nothing!

    沒有任何意義!

  • Have you guys even heard of the St. Valentine's Day Massacre?

    你們有沒有聽過情人節大屠殺?

  • It's not a fun holiday!

    這並不是個好玩的節日!

  • Oh, please, with this naaahhhh! You guys are just showing your love through hollow capitalism.

    噢,拜託,你們這樣只是在透過空虛的資本主義來表現你們的愛。

  • How was no one else seeing this?

    怎麼沒人這樣想呢?

  • Dude, chill out.

    冷靜點,老兄。

  • It's obvious you're just cynical because you're completely alone.

    很明顯你只是因為完全孤單一個人才這麼厭世。

  • Oh, oh. Well joke's on you, buddy 'cause no one loves me every day.

    噢,好笑的是你,因為沒有人會每天愛我。

  • Boom!

    看吧!

  • Every Valentine's Day ever.

    年年情人節都一樣。

  • Can I help you find something?

    需要幫您找些什麼嗎?

  • Um, I'm kind of in a weird situation.

    呃,我現在的情況有點怪。

  • You see, I've only been dating this girl for like a week, so it's not really that serious.

    聽著,我和這個女生大概只約會一個星期,所以還沒那麼認真。

  • Do you have anything that doesn't say "I love you" on it? 'Cause we're not we're not there yet.

    你們有沒有不是大大寫著「我愛你」的東西?因為我們還沒到那個程度。

  • Oh, of course. We have the perfect selection for that.

    噢,當然。我們有最適合的商品。

  • How about a regular teddy bear?

    一般的泰迪熊怎樣?

  • Yeah, that's perfect. There's no declarations of love. Yeah, that's perfect. Thanks.

    對,完美!沒有愛的宣言,真完美,謝了。

  • Go get her, tiger.

    去迷倒她吧!

  • Shoo.

    去。

  • Okay.

    好喔。

  • Oh!

    噢。

  • Um, I know like we've only gone a couple dates.

    呃,我知道我們只約過幾次會。

  • But I figured you know it's tradition and everything so I got you a little Valentine's Day present.

    但我想說是傳統什麼的,所以就為你準備了一個小小的情人節禮物。

  • Aw...

    噢...

  • I love you.

    我愛你。

  • Oh...

    噢。

  • Didn't know that it talked... awkward.

    我不知道它會講... 好尷尬。

  • And if you didn't love me, too, I'd kill myself.

    如果你不愛我,我就會自殺。

  • And then kill you.

    然後再殺掉你。

  • Every Valentine's Day Ever.

    年年情人節都一樣。

  • Babe? Where are you?

    寶貝,你在哪裡?

  • Follow the trail!

    跟著花瓣路徑走。

  • What's all this?!

    這些是什麼?

  • Well, you know, I thought I'd pick up a couple roses pick apart their decaying carcasses and spread them around the house in hopes that you would sleep with me.

    嗯,我想說可以買幾朵玫瑰,把慢慢腐爛的花朵殘骸剝開灑在家中四處,希望你會跟我上床。

  • Well, I don't know why I'm interpreting these actions as a romantic gesture instead of something a complete psychopath would do, but I gotta admit I'm pretty horny right now.

    嗯,我不知道為什麼我會把這些動作視為浪漫的表現,而不是瘋子才會做的事,但我得承認我現在很飢渴。

  • Cool!

    很棒。

  • I love that your head is spaghetti and I get to eat it.

    我好愛你的頭髮就像義大利麵一樣,我可以吃掉。

  • Happy Valentine's Day.

    情人節快樂。

  • - It's August. - Oh.

    - 現在八月。 - 噢好吧。

  • Yo, why are there flowers on the table?

    欸,為什麼桌上有花?

  • Oh, Dad bought them for Mom.

    爸爸買給媽媽的。

  • Wait a minute.

    等一下。

  • Danny, what day is it?

    Danny,今天是什麼日子?

  • I don't know, Manny, some random weekday in February.

    Manny,我不知道,就只是二月的某個平日。

  • Oh my god.

    天啊。

  • IT'S VALENTINE'S DAY!

    今天是情人節!

  • We got to get out of here!

    我們一定要離開這裡!

  • Hey, no leaving the house past sundown.

    嘿,太陽下山後不可以出門。

  • She's talking to us while she's doing it!

    她在竟然邊做邊和我們講話!

  • Why couldn't they just wait till we were asleep!?

    他們為什麼不等到我們睡著!?

  • Who bought me flowers?

    是誰買花給我?

  • I did, for myself.

    我買的,是給我自己的。

  • The way I would kill myself is with a knife.

    我會用刀子自殺。

  • And the way I'd kill you is with the same knife.

    然後我會用同一把刀殺死你。

  • Okay, maybe if you just press them again, it'll say something not so crazy.

    好,可能你再按一次它就不會說出這麼瘋狂的事了。

  • The blood from my body would then mix with the blood from your body, which would bind our souls for eternity.

    這樣我身體的血和你身體的血就會混和在一起,這會把我們的靈魂永遠綁在一起。

  • Son of a bitch.

    可惡。

  • - Let's touch butts! -Yeah!

    - 我們來摸屁股吧! - 耶!

  • Tonight was so perfect.

    今晚真完美。

  • Delicious and expensive thick hearty steaks.

    好吃而且很貴的厚實牛排。

  • More than enough red wine.

    過多的紅酒。

  • And then a whole box of those heart-shaped chocolates filled with I don't even know

    還有一整盒心形巧克力,裡面的餡是什麼我甚至都不知道。

  • And now we can engage an entire night of rigorous and passionate lovemaking.

    然後我們現在可以投入一整晚激烈熱情的歡愛。

  • Mmm-hmm.

    嗯嗯。

  • - You still want to? - Uh-huh. - Right. - Yeah, yeah. - Okay.

    - 你還想要嗎? - 嗯。 - 對。 - 沒錯。 - 好。

  • - Cool. You? - Oh, yeah. I'm so excited.

    - 很棒,你呢? - 噢,我超興奮的。

  • You're not too full?

    你不會太飽嗎?

  • No, I feel fine.

    不會,我覺得很好。

  • I'm just gonna turn off this light and we're gonna...

    我來關個燈我們就來...

  • Happy Valentine's Day.

    情人節快樂。

  • Yeah, we're good singers.

    對呀,我們唱得真好。

  • Happy Valentine's Day. You too. Okay, bye.

    情人節快樂,你也是。好,掰掰。

  • Oh, must be from my husband Michael.

    噢,一定是我老公 Michael 寄的。

  • Oh, to Julie.

    噢,Julie 收。

  • Oh, from my husband Michael probably.

    噢,大概是我老公 Michael 寄的。

  • Oh! Sarah... okay.

    噢,Sarah 收... 好吧。

  • This is definitely from my husband Michael.

    這一定是我老公 Michael 寄的。

  • Oh, see? From Michael... to... Julie.

    看吧,Michael 緘... Julie 收。

  • Hang on. There's something else from Michael.

    等等,Michael 還有寄其他東西。

  • Divorce papers!?

    離婚證書?

  • You've been served.

    你被傳喚了。

  • Happy Valentine's Day

    情人節快樂。

  • Bee mine.

    你是我的甜蜜蜜。

  • Get it,'cause I'm dressed like a bee?

    懂嗎?因為我扮成蜜蜂。

  • If I found out you didn't love me, and I didn't have a knife nearby, I'd kill myself with two guns.

    要是我發現你不愛我,然後我手邊又沒有刀子,我就會用兩支槍自殺。

  • Okay, maybe just stop pressing it.

    好,可能就別再按了。

  • I'd put both of them to my head and pull the triggers at the same time.

    我會把兩把槍都抵在頭上,然後同時扣下板機。

  • The bullets would hit each other and fuse together in my brain, just like you and me should fuse together forever.

    兩顆子彈就會在我腦中相撞並熔合在一起,就像你我應該永遠融合在一起一樣。

  • Okay, Jesus. I can return it okay?

    夠了,老天,我可以拿去退貨好嗎?

  • I love you, Rachel. Do you love me?

    Rachel 我愛你,你愛我嗎?

  • Say you love me, say you love me, say you love me.

    說你愛我,說你愛我,說你愛我。

  • I'll kill myself and you if you don't love me. Say you love me.

    如果你不愛我,我就自殺然後殺掉你。說你愛我。

  • I fu***** love you.

    我他 X 的愛死你了。

  • Every Valentine's Day Ever.

    年年情人節都一樣。

  • Happy Valentine's Day, Shane.

    Shane,情人節快樂。

  • Oh, happy Valentine's Day, Ian.

    噢,情人節快樂,Ian。

  • Wow, you know, it'd just be super if everyone went checked out Every First Date ever by clicking the box on the left.

    哇,如果大家都按下左邊的框框去看「初次約會都一樣」就太好了。

  • Or to watch Every Elevator Ever by clicking the box on the right.

    或是按下右邊的框框去看「電梯都一樣」。

  • Wow, that just sounds amazing.

    哇,聽起來棒呆了。

  • I'm gonna make out with somebody.

    我們要找人來親熱。

  • I'm right here.

    我就在這裡啊。

  • Oh. Oh my gosh. Oh my goodness. Oh wow.

    噢,天啊,我的老天啊。喔哇。

Oh, gross!

噢,真噁心!

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愛無所不在!情人節就是要...? (EVERY VALENTINE'S DAY EVER)

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    Estelle 發佈於 2020 年 02 月 13 日
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