- I'm stressed out, I don't know!

我壓力超大的，我不知道！

What if she doesn't like it?

如果她不喜歡呢？

- Yeah, that is gonna reflect poorly on me.

對啊，這樣會為我帶來不好的印象。

- [Both] It's Valentine's Day!

[同時] 情人節到了！

- The worst holiday of the year for everyone.

一年當中最糟糕的節日。

- No one likes this (beep) holiday!

沒有人喜歡這個 [嗶] 節日！

- Why do we have to force a romantic connection

我們為什麼必須要在這一天

on a certain day?

強迫一段浪漫的關係？

- What's the most romantic gesture you've done,

你做過最浪漫的表示是什麼

or someone has done for you on Valentine's Day?

還是有誰在情人節時替你做過什麼？

- I snuck into Ariel's room

我偷偷進去 Ariel 的房間

and put flowers everywhere,

在裡面到處放花

this was on her birthday.

這是在她生日的那天。

- What about for Valentine's Day?

那情人節的時候呢？

Men always seem to fail at this,

男人總是無法理解這個

it's simple!

很簡單嘛！

You send presents to her work

你寄禮物到她上班的地方

to make all her other bitches jealous!

讓所有其他的女性嫉妒！

- Oh, really?

哦，真的嗎？

- Valentine's Day isn't about each other!

情人節和對方一點關係都沒有！

It's all about showing everyone else

它是要表現給其他人看

how much you love each other!

你們彼此有多愛對方！

- Kelsey, we already talk about how much we love each other,

Kelsey，我們總是在討論我們彼此

all the time anyways,

有多麼地相愛

and it annoys people!

這會讓別人感到厭煩的！

Also--

同時--

- Too bad, you don't have a choice.

那又如何，你沒得選擇。

What? Also what?

怎麼樣，又怎麼樣？

- She works from home.

她在家工作。

- Oh.

喔。

Ned, it seems like you're in a weird position

Ned，看來你正處於一個尷尬的局面

because you don't really know what to get her.

因為你不知道要買什麼送給她。

She works from home,

她在家工作

I'm gonna help you.

我來幫幫你。

- You are.

你會幫我

- I'm gonna get a gift for your wife

我要幫你選一個情人節禮物

for Valentine's Day, from you.

送給你老婆。

- So I'm gonna give her a gift from me,

所以我要給她一個禮物

but it's actually gonna be from you.

但其實是妳選的 。

- Yeah!

是的！

- Oh my god, this is very exciting!

噢老天，這實在令人興奮！

- Let's talk about budget for Valentine's Day.

我們來談談情人節的預算。

- I really wouldn't want to go above $50.

我真的不想超過 50 美金。

- So $50 is what we're working with here.

所以 50 美金就是我們的預算。

- Yeah.

是的。

- Okay, here's a trick that I do

當有人過生日的時候

when it's someone else's birthday.

我會使出一個小訣竅。

I buy them a gift that also includes me.

我會買一個我也參與其中的禮物。

- I do like that, like experiences.

我喜歡這樣，就好像一些經驗。

- Something you could do together.

一些你們可以一起做的事情。

Oh, wait, I love this!

哦，等等，這個主意好！

- I got an idea!

我有一個主意！

Hamilton, I went to see it in New York without her

Hamilton，我在紐約時自己去看

and she got really jealous,

她很嫉妒我

so if I surprise her with Hamilton tickets--

所以如果我給她 Hamilton 的票當作驚喜

- Yeah, but how much money are you trying to spend?

可以啊，不過你打算要花多少錢？

- [Both] 1500 dollars!

[同時] 1500 元！

- Yikes! - Oh no!

哇噻！哦不！

- God, this is actually harder

天啊，這其實比我想得

than I thought it was gonna be.

要困難許多。

Does she like, oh god.

她喜歡，哦老天。

- I'll just get her the Hamilton tickets.

我就買 Hamilton 的票好了。

- What about if you can read this,

還是，如果你看到這個，

bring me a glass of wine socks?

就給我一杯酒的襪子？

- I'll just take out a second mortgage.

我就去申請二胎貸款吧。

If you can read this bring me a second glass of wine.

如果你看到這個，就再給我一杯酒。

- Yeah, and it's on socks,

對啊，它寫在襪子上

so when her feet are up.

所以當她把腳抬起來

- That's super cute.

那超級可愛的。

- She likes wine, right?

她喜歡酒不是嗎？

- She does like wine!

她是喜歡酒！

- Oh, I got it, I got it.

哦，我想到了，我想到了。

What is important about a Valentine's Day gift?

情人節禮物最重要的是什麼？

It's custom, it's meaningful,

它是量身訂做，它要有意義

and it's something that will remind you of that day forever.

而且是一個會讓你一生難忘的。

A custom wine glass would be great.

一個量身訂做的酒杯就很棒。

- Set of two,

一組兩個

so that I can drink wine, too!

這樣我就可以一起喝！

- Oh, very good!

哦，非常好！

Personalized wine glasses, 19.99!

客製化酒杯，19.99 元！

- $19, Not bad, not bad!

19 元，很不錯，很不錯啊！

- [Kelsey] What if we got little wine glasses

[Kelsey] 還是我們買這印有

with a kiss and a mustache?

親吻和八字鬍的小酒杯？

- She would be into that!

她一定會喜歡！

- [Kelsey] Hello, I am looking for

[Kelsey] 哈囉，我在找

a custom Valentine's Day gift.

一個客製化的情人節禮物。

Thanks so much, Ned.

非常感謝，Ned。

Wow, I hope she likes it, I'm nervous.

哇，我希望她會喜歡，我好緊張。

- I think she'll like it.

我覺得她會喜歡。

Ariel, looks like there's a package here for you.

Ariel，這裡有你的包裹。

Oh, I think you should open it!

哦，我覺得妳應該打開來看看！

- What is it?

這是什麼？

Oh my gosh!

哦我的老天！

It's a big glass that says Ariel!

這是一個寫著 Ariel 的大玻璃杯！

(laughter)

(笑聲)

Ariel and Ned!

Ariel 和 Ned！

That's so cute, honey!

親愛的，這個太可愛了！

What are they for?

買它們做什麼呢？

- [Ned] It's an early Valentine's Day present!

[Ned] 這是提早送妳的情人節禮物！

- You!

你！

- [Ned] I didn't pick them out!

[Ned] 不是我選的！

- Oh!

喔！

- [Ned] Kelsey did!

[Ned] Kelsey 選的！

- Oh, that's adorable!

哦，太可愛了！

Thank you, Kelsey!

Kelsey，謝謝妳！

- Kelsey, you are very good at picking out gifts.

Kelsey，妳真的很會選禮物。

So that's it!

就是這樣！

Get someone a gift that you can have an experience together!

買一個你能夠共同創造一個經驗的禮物！

- There you go.

沒錯。

Like drinking wine.

就像喝酒。

- Right.

對。

- Or Hamilton tickets.

或是 Hamilton 的票。

When in doubt, Hamilton tickets will make anyone happy.

如果拿不定主意，Hamilton 的票會讓任何人都開心。

- If you have an extra $3000,

如果你有額外的 3000 元

- Paypal it to Ned. - Hamilton tickets.

Paypal 給 Ned。Hamilton 的票。

- Oh (laughs) yeah.

噢 (笑) 好啊。