Okay

好的

I was building this thing and I'm placing a stairs and I see this guy

我當時正在建造這東西 然後我再放個樓梯 然後我就看到這傢伙

Who is that? What the frick are you?

那是誰？你TM是三小？

Go away! Hello?

走開啦！哈囉？

Get off my property, I have a gun. Maybe he's a friend. I don't want to be racist

你最好滾開我家哦，我有槍。可能他想做朋友。我不想歧視

Hello? He killed a fish!

哈囉？他殺了一條魚！(☉д⊙)

Hello? Hello, I'm talking to you. Oh jeez you're creepy. Oh God.

哈囉？哈囉，我在跟你講話欸。我的媽呀，你讓我毛毛的。天啊。

(9 year olds): "Minecraft isn't scary, Felix". (*Clears Throat*) Okay.

（9歲的小朋友們）： “麥塊並不可怕阿，Felix”。 （*清嗓子*）好喔。

Dude, we can be friends. Hey you want melon?

老兄，我們可以當朋友。嘿，你想要西瓜嗎？

Do you like this?

你喜歡嗎？

Oh, look at this he like it. What are you doing with that block? Hey, hey put that block down! Put that block that do-

哦，看看他喜歡耶。你在對那個方塊做什麼？嘿，嘿，把那個方塊放下來！把那塊放 -

Goddammit! Put it down. Put it down. Put it down! Put it down!

天殺的！放下來。放下來。放下來！放下來！

Where are you going?

你要去哪裡？

My god, there's endermens everywhere. I have to kill them. All right, do I kill endermen?

天哪，到處都是敵人。我必須殺了他們。好了，我要殺掉安德嗎？

He just farted!

他剛剛放了屁！

(Screams of terror)

（驚聲尖叫）

I'M SORRY

我很抱歉。･ﾟ･(つд`ﾟ)･ﾟ･

The melon! Hey, melon, take it!

西瓜！嘿，西瓜，拿去！

Aah! Jesus!

哎喲！夭壽！

What the frick dude, that was so scary!

什麼東西？！嚇死人了！

You better not steal my stuff dude.

你最好不要偷我的東西。

We're cool.

我們很酷。

It's all good. Just like nothing happened. All right, you just all right. I'll stick to what I'm doing

很好。我們當做什麼都沒發生就好，你就... 我做我的

You stick to what you're doing and no more melon from now on

你做你的 然後從現在開始我不會給你西瓜了

The audacity of some people. Okay. So basically I built this indoor pool.

有些人真的是沒有禮貌。OK，基本上我在建這個室內泳池。

It's pretty sweet. It lit (lights) up at dark

這很溫馨。它在黑暗中亮起

And uh, I'm like building the house. Just making it nice

然後啊，呃，我想裝修這間房子。讓它變得更好看

Making it cool. It's gonna like, you know, be a thing. It's gonna I'm gonna live here

讓它變酷。你知道，它會成為一種東西。我要住在這裡

actually, there's one thing I been wanting to do cuz when when I started playing Minecraft

其實，我回來玩麥塊時，有一件事我一直想做

The the bed was automatically red. That's how I remember Minecraft, but now they have dye and stuff

以前我記得我玩麥塊合成床是本來就是紅色的。但現在他們有染料和東西

so I think if I do this

所以我想如果我這樣做

and this

還有這個

WOW

哇

It's a red bed! Now I feel at home. Now I can sleep at night. There it is. That's what I remember

這是一張紅色的床！現在有家的感覺了。現在我可以在晚上睡得安心了。這才是我記得的床

Oh, that takes me back. You wake up to burning zombies. That's what I like

哦，各種回憶。醒來時還可以看殭屍BBQ。我喜歡

That's what I like to see. I haven't finished this because I want to fish

這就是我喜歡看到的。我還沒完成，因為我想釣魚

So we I want to have I want to have actual fishes in my house

我想要把魚養在池塘裡

I want like the stars and this night and everything to be epic.

我想要像星星和夜景，一切都是史詩般的。

No! I only have one string god damnit what drops strings? Do spiders drop strings?

不！我只有一個線,該死的,哪些怪會掉線阿？蜘蛛掉線嗎？

I'm sorry. Mr. Spider you have to die

對不起。蜘蛛先生，你必須死

Yes! ha ha

是的，哈哈

Oh also, by the way- oh, yeah don't jump on the crops. Everyone lost their mind last episode.

順帶一提，哦，對，不要跳上耕地。上一集一直有人提醒我。

I am learning as I'm going, okay?

哦，我慢慢正在學習啦，好嗎

No, I'm not a Minecraft veteran,

不，我還不是麥塊老屁股

YET

等等

We're going for the ender dragon snaggin

我們要去找終界龍龍

uh, what was I doing? I already forgot.

呃，我要做什麼了？我已經忘了。

Yes, a fishing rod. That's what we're doing

對，釣魚竿。這就是我們正在做的事情

I know how to make it in by hand

我知道怎麼手作釣竿

But just so you guys learn I'm making a fishing rod. Then of course, we need a boat, right? a boat.

但是你們當然知道我正在製作一根釣魚竿。然後，我們需要一艘船，對嗎？一艘船。

Boat time!

船船時間！

Boat time!!

船船時間！！

Sorry Jörgen, You can't come with me. Why's the grass not growing?

抱歉了約根，你不能跟我去。為什麼這草不長了？

All right, doesn't matter. It's boat time

好吧，這不重要。船船時間！

oOOhh HOH HOH

喔喔喔喔哇哇哇

OOOooOOOHOHO

喔喔喔喔喔喔喔

Damn, I'm fast!

可惡，我很快！

Oh Yeah!! OOOh, yeah!!

喔耶！！喔喔喔耶！！

That's what I'm talki- dude, that's a fish right there. That's a fish RIGHT there.

這就是我在說...老兄！那裡有一條魚。那裡剛好有一條魚！！

Here we go. Bros. Here we go

我們走吧，兄弟。出發了！

ooo Come on, come on, grab it. Come on grab it

喔拜託，拜託！抓起來！快點抓起來！

Come on you want it. Do I need a bait on the fish?

快點你想要牠。我需要用餌抓魚嗎？

Don't laugh at me, Jörgen. I'm trying here.

不要笑我，約根。我很努力！

Do I need a bait for it? I probably need a bait for it. Could I actually just capture him with my bucket?

我需要魚餌嗎？我可能需要一個魚餌。還是我其實可以用水桶抓牠？

This is how we fish in Sweden, with buckets

這是瑞典式釣魚法，用水桶

Come here, come here, come here, come here, come here

過來，過來，過來，過來，過來

Come here, come here

過來，過來

come here come here come here come here-

過來過來過來過來...

oOOh OOOOh I GOT A BUCKET OF FISH IT WO- (laughs)

喔喔喔喔喔！我抓到一桶魚牠...（笑）

Tactical fishing!!! haters said it wasn't possible

戰術性釣魚！！！酸民都說這不可能

But I got a bucket of fish. now you go in there. oh my god, I got a bucket of fi-

但我剛抓到一桶魚。現在你進去這裡。喔我的天，我抓到一桶ㄩ...

(gibberish) we gotta get him a friend, we gotta get him a friend, bros

@#$%^&*(我們要幫牠找朋友，我們要幫牠找朋友，兄弟

Technically you're supposed to row a boat backwards

嚴格來說，你應該要反向划船

So this game isn't that historically accurate after all? Okay. All right, we're going scuba diving

所以這個遊戲歷史上來說不是那麼準確？OK。沒關係，我們要去水肺潛水

Can you make scuba diving equipment in this- what the hell just happened?

你可以在這裡做水肺潛水的設備ㄇ...剛發生什麼鬼事？？？

gottem

抓到了！

gottem

抓到了！

God it's scary down there. No, I'm not scared of everything in Minecraft, okay?

老天，這下面有夠恐怖。不是，我不是怕 Minecraft 裡的東西好嗎？

You know what? Let's just make a bunch of buckets. I don't have time for this

你知道嗎？我們就做一些水桶。我沒時間做這些

It's bucket making time. smash like if you're excited for bucket making time. That's what I thought, that's what I thought

現在是做水桶時間。如果你對做水桶時間感到興奮地話，按個喜歡。這就我在想的，這就我在想的

All right, we're making bu-

好的，我們要做ㄕㄨㄟˇ...

That's what I thought, that's what I thought. All right, we're making buckets.

這就是我想的，這就是我想的。好的，我們在做水桶。

♫ I got a bucket full of bucket full of sunshine ♫

♫ 我有一桶滿載的、一桶滿載的陽光 ♫（編按：Natasha Bedingfield - Pocketful Of Sunshine）

Jesus christ, what is happening?

老天！發生什麼事？

Oh, you can drown in Minecraft?

喔，你在 Minecraft 會淹死？

That's so unrealistic

這太不切實際了

Come h- goddamn. Why can the fishes breathe underwater then, huh?

來吧...該死！為啥魚可以在水下呼吸，蛤？

Explain that, liberals. Let's try and find more exotic fishes

解釋一下吧，自由派人士！我們再試試看並且找更多怪魚

You are- Oh God!! Everything is scary in this game. Come back here

你...我的天！！這遊戲裡的一切都好嚇人。回來這裡！

God damn, they're too fast. squi(d)zies

天，該死，他們太快了。魷魚～～

Come on

來吧

(sounds of disgust) All right, you're too ugly you have to die, I'm sorry

（噁）好吧，你太醜了，你必須死，抱歉了

Those are the Minecraft rules. Don't look at me, I don't make it up. you ugly, you die

那是 Minecraft 的規矩。不要看我，不是我訂的。你醜，你就得死

TURTLE!?!

烏龜！？！

You're coming with me. In the bucket, right now. I don't- come in the buck- all right in the boat then, fine

你要跟我走。進來桶子裡，現在！我不進桶ㄗ...好吧，進到船裡，也行

No, I want my turtle in my house

不～我想要我的烏龜到我家

Can we drown the people?

我們可以把這些人淹死嗎？

Oh, kitty, you're going in the bucket. get it? You're going in the bucket.

喔，小貓咪，你也要進到桶子裡。懂嗎？你要進到桶子裡。

You have no saying kitty, yoU'RE GOING IN THE BUCKET

你沒得選小貓咪，你要進到桶子裡！！！

YOU'RE GOING IN THE BUCKET. Come here, you snake

你要進到桶子裡！！！過來，你這條蛇

Goddammit

可惡！

So disrespectful. what's happening? Hello

太無禮了。發生什麼事？哈囉？

What is he doing?

他在做啥？

Dude, you got so much bread, bro. You got so- you don't mind, do you?

老兄，你拿太多麵包了，兄弟。你拿太...你不介意，對嗎？

Cool, I'll sleep in his house

酷，我要睡他家。

Have you been looking at me the whole night?

你整晚都在看著我嗎？

Well, sorry I thought it was my house

好哦，抱歉我以為那是我家

What? I can make dyed pants?! what? leather. Okay, six leather. I'll be right back

什麼？我可以做染色的褲子？！什麼？皮革的。OK，要六個皮革。我馬上回來

cartography table?!

製圖台？！

what??

什麼？？

All right, well this pool idea is very underwhelming

好吧，嗯這個泳池的主意讓人非常印象深刻

Why are they all there?

為什麼他們都在那？

Is it the draft in the water? All right, it's cow murdering time. PETA, I have to do it. I have to get emerald

這是在水裡的草圖嗎？好吧，這是殺牛時間。PETA，我必須這麼做，我必須要鮮綠色

I have to get dyed pants. All right, you're gonna die

我必須要拿到染色褲子。好吧，你們得死

You didn't even drop leather, you're useless! They're escaping!! They're escaping!

你們甚至沒掉下皮革，你們真沒用！他們要逃跑了！！他們要逃跑了！

They're escaping the camp

他們要逃出營地了！！

No, they're all escaping! What the f- goddammit! ugh y-you're dead. You're dead. You're just dead

不，他們都逃跑了！WT...該死！喔，你...你死定了，你死定了，你死了！

That's what happened. No one escapes my camp

這就逃離的下場。沒人能逃離我的營地

All right one gets to live because he's good. You escape, you die. That's the rules

好吧，那個可以活下去，因為他很棒。你逃，就得死。那就是規則。

WHERE ARE ALL MY FISH?!

我的魚呢？？？

You're all there! you suck, dude

你們只會待在那，你們遜斃了！老兄！

alright, well now we can get epic pants, at least. Now we can get the Gucci pants

沒關係，至少我們現在可以得到那經典的褲褲了。現在我們可以得到辣個GUCCI褲褲

Hey, come on, did I tell you to stop?

嘿，拜託，我有叫你停下來嗎？

You the Gucci pants guy. There you are. six?! I need six? Are you crazy?

你是那個賣Gucci褲褲的傢伙。你在這啊。六？！我需要六個？你瘋了嗎？

Oh my god, dude. let's- let's bounce, Jörgen. These people are trying to swindle us

我的天哪，老兄，讓我們...讓我們離開這個鬼地方，約根。這貨試圖敲詐我們

Alright, well this works out because I actually wanted to just ride out and murder people

好吧，我們至少要鍛鍊一下，因為我真的想騎出去殺人

I haven't really explored the area althou- oh wait, actually, I forgot. I want to make a compass. Can you make a compass?

我沒有真正探索過這個區域，雖然哦等等，實際上，我忘記了。我想做一個羅盤。你能做指南針嗎？

I remember making a compass, even back in my day, cause I don't want to get lost. I don't want to lose my epic house

我記得之前做過指南針，我不想迷路。我不想失去我那史詩般的房子

Boom boom boom and then in the middle. There's my compass. Alright, we're going out on an adventure

放這...放這...放這，這個放中間。這我的指南針。好的，我們要出發去冒險了

Oh it tells you where the house is

喔，他告訴你房子在哪

Aw that's so nice. Sto- Stop resisting

喔，這真棒。停...別再抵抗了！

Stop resisting

別再抵抗了！

We got six. Okay, no more killing. We only reap what we sow. That is not how that expression works

我們拿到六個了。OK，不再殺戮了。我們種瓜得瓜種豆得豆。這是這俚語的道理所在

Okay well, I feel a lot more confident just riding off seeing what we're gonna find

OK，我感覺出去瞎晃發現新東西讓自己更有信心了

You know what I'm saying? like who knows what we're gonna find

你懂我的意思嗎？誰知道我們會發現什麼

Like a little hole, that's pretty cool- actually I do need coal. Hold up, Hold up once sec

像一個小洞，那很酷...其實我確實需要煤炭。等一下，等我一下

Jörgen?

約根？

Jörgen?

約根？

Jörgen

約根

Where's Jörgen?

約根呢？

Where's Jörgen?

約根在哪？

Jörgen?!

約根？！

It's getting dark, Jörgen! wh-

要天黑了，約根！啥...

Jörgen!

約根！

He must be here somewhere

他一定在這邊某個地方

Oh god

天啊

Hello, have you seen Jörgen? Oh God, they won't help me

哈囉，你有看到約根嗎？喔天啊，他們不會幫我的

I looked away one second, and then he was gone

我視線才離開他一秒，他就消失了

Have you seen Jörgen? Oh my god. He must have fallen down a hole or something. He must be so scared

你有看到約根嗎？喔天啊，他一定是掉到一個洞裡或什麼的。他一定很害怕

Oh god, ooh no. I was hoping he maybe he ran back home

喔天啊，不好了。我希望他也許會跑回家

(gaSP) OHHHH

（喘氣）喔喔喔

WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?!

你到底去哪了？！

YOU GOT ME SO SCARED, JÖRGEN

你害我好害怕，約根

OOOooh I'm so happy! oh I'll never leave you again, Jörgen

喔喔喔，我好高興！我不會再離開你了，約根

Woah jesus!

喔天啊！

almost fell down there

差點掉到那邊

My god

我的天啊

It's dangerous, this game. Whoa, what a mountain

太危險了這個遊戲。哇，好大一座山

Woah, what is that

哇，那是什麼？

is that a shipwreck?

那是遇難船嗎？

What is that? All right, Jörgen, stay here

那是啥？好吧，約根，你待在這兒

Gonna make sure it's safe

要確認他是否安全

What kind of wood is this

這是什麼木頭

uhhhhh

啊啊啊啊

Is that a treasure chest (gasp) whAT?!

這是藏寶盒嗎？（喘氣）什麼？！

IT'S GLOWING!!

他在閃閃發光！！

oh my god!

喔我的天啊！

Minecraft- ahHH

Minecraft 啊啊啊

Oh my craft- paper?!

喔我的天，紙？

Hey, Jörgen

嘿，約根

Goddammit. Why does he keep- like, stay

可惡。為什麼他一直...待著

Oh god, not this again. I left him here

我的天啊，不要再一次了。我把他留在這邊的

Oh- I hear him. You snake, where are you. Is there a way to get a whistle to get your horse to- Jörgen

喔，我聽到他的聲音了。你這小蛇，你在哪裡。有方法可以吹口哨讓你的馬回來嗎？...約根

Oh my god, I look so pimp. I have less armor, but I look cool, so it's okay

喔我的天啊，我看起來好娘泡。我防護變少了但看起來很酷，這樣還OK。

Why do I hear him but not see him

為什麼我有聽到牠聲音但沒看到牠

(pillager noise)

（掠奪聲）

What?

什麼？！

(pillager noise)

（掠奪聲）

What the hell is this?

這什麼鬼東西？

Have you kidnapped Jörgen?

你綁架了約根嗎？

Hey!

嘿！

What the hell are you? You tried to kill me, I kill you

你是什麼鬼？你要殺我，我就殺你

Is that a crossbow? you shoot way too slow, bro

那是石弓嗎？兄弟，你射得太慢了

Cool, it's getting dark again and Jörgen is nowhere to be found- Hey look more anime flowers. I love them

酷，又要天黑了然後找不到約根。嘿，有更多動漫花耶，我喜歡！

I hear them here, they are not here. Explain that

我聽到他們的聲音，但他們不在這。誰可以跟我解釋

Oh my god!

喔我的天啊！

What the hell are you wearing?

你穿這什麼鬼東西？

What is this?

這什麼？

They must have captured Jörgen. Give him back to me

他們一定抓走約根了。把牠還給我！

Jörgen, are you in here?

約根，你在這嗎？

Jörgen- I hear you

約根～～我聽到你了

I hear you! he's in the trees or some shit

我聽到你的聲音了！他在樹林裡或一些鬼地方

Oh my- you fu-

天哪

Why do I feel like I'm going crazy

為什麼我感覺我快瘋了

where -

在哪裡

- is Jörgen?

約根

The thing is I hear you

問題是我有聽到你的聲音

The ghost of Jörgen is haunting me, I swear to god

約根的鬼魂在追殺我！我發誓！

he was my only friend

牠是我唯一的朋友

Now I can't find him

現在我找不到牠

I looked away two seconds

我只看了別的地方兩秒鐘

And then he was just gone,

然後他就消失了

Just like that

就像那樣

(gasp)

（喘）

awh

啊啊啊

Where? oh my god, where were y- you keEP DISAPPEARING!!

哪裡？我的天啊，你去哪了！你一直消失！！！

Ooh alright, we have him back. I looked all night, literally all night

喔喔喔好吧，牠回來了。我找了一整晚，真真正正的一整晚！

I don't know what you were doing and I'm not even gonna ask

我不知道你去哪了而且我甚至不想問

We're going back home, Jörgen

我們要回家了，約根

What the hell is that? Is that a donkey? you wanna come with me, donkey?

那什麼鬼東西？那是一隻驢子嗎？你想跟我走嗎，驢子？

You want some wheat?

你想吃些小麥嗎？

Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me?

你在跟我開玩笑嗎？你在跟我開玩笑嗎？你在跟我開玩笑嗎？你在跟我開玩笑嗎？

JÖRGEN!!!!!

約根！！！！！