Have you heard of a website, Etsy?

Anybody?

Etsy?

OK, all right.

It's basically E-bay for your aunt

who knits sweaters for cats.

So they sell all kinds of handmade items on Etsy.

And some are great.

And some are less greater.

And I want to show you what I mean.

It's a new segment I'm calling Let's See Etsy.

[SONG - "THRIFT SHOP"]

I'm going to pop some tags.

Only got $20 in my pocket.

I, I'm hunting, looking for a come-up.

This is [MUTED] awesome.

Now, walk her to the club--

All right.

These are real items that I bought on Etsy.

The first one is right here.

And these are breast milk flavored toothpicks.

Yep, they're real.

And here's the hitch in this giddyup, right here.

Babies don't have teeth.

And adult shouldn't have breast milk.

But if you're buying breast milk flavored toothpicks,

you've got bigger problems than food stuck in your teeth.

And a note to inventors out there,

just because a product doesn't exist yet,

doesn't mean you should make it.

So breast flavored toothpicks.

Of course, I'm going to see what this tastes like.

00:01:14,260 --> 00:01:16,060 Mm, Mommy.

00:01:23,822 --> 00:01:25,280 I don't know what that tastes like.

Because I don't-- how would I know?

All right, here's where it gets weird.

I'm going to show you the next one.

These are items made with doll heads.

Here is a saucer.

It's a doll-head saucer, right there.

And then here is a doll-head dessert dish, right there.

And this is a doll-head planter.

You can put little flowers in there or something.

And-- here you go.

It doesn't look like you're entertaining.

It looks like the start of a horror movie,

is what it looks like.

This is what you call everything's-not-fine China.

00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:06,827 Here.

00:02:20,517 --> 00:02:21,350 Here's the last one.

You know the famous painting the Last Supper?

Everybody knows that.

OK, well, someone is selling this, right here.

This is on Etsy.

And this is the Lesbian Last Supper.

There I am in the middle.

They've put me in the middle with all

of my lesbian disciples there.

This is, I think, Portia.

And there's Jane Lynch, Wanda Sykes, Melissa Etheridge,

all your favorite lesbians are in here.

We all drove together in a Subaru Hatchback to get there.

00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:53,630 One of you will deny me.

One of you will betray me.

And one of you will marry me.

This says that it's 17 of 500.

And if anyone wants this, you're going

to have to pry it out of my cold, lesbian hands.

Because I'm going to hang this in my house.

It says that there's only four left on Etsy.

So these are popular.

Oh, there's three left, wow, out of 500.

These are really popular.

Who knew?

OK.

If you see something on Etsy you think

I should see, please buy it, and then send it to me.