[CLOCK TICKING]

Uh, uh, lung, kidney, (STUTTERING) uh, thigh!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

That's not an organ!

What?

[LAUGHTER]

This young boy sent us his invention,

and I have to share it with you.

One day--

[MUSIC PLAYING]

When I was doing swim lessons, I had a leak in my goggles.

[LAUGHTER]

Oh.

Seriously?

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

00:00:43,330 --> 00:00:45,350 What's the sexiest part of a man?

His, well, thing.

The thing.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

00:00:52,924 --> 00:00:54,969 [CHEERING]

This is our famous bread.

Just put it in your mouth.

Just-- just don't chew it.

Just put the whole thing in.

Whole thing.

And just let it--

[LAUGHTER]

00:01:19,575 --> 00:01:21,575 Because I know you love games, and I love games.

Yes.

So what they give you in the hospital are these breathing

things, right?

And whoever can suck their balls the hardest wins.

[LAUGHTER]

You suck, not blow?

You--

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

Of course I'd have to teach her!

[LAUGHTER]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Yes, Ellen!

[LAUGHTER]

My god.

[CHEERING]

00:01:58,964 --> 00:02:01,100 I was up all night long because my sister

was giving birth in my tub.

I'm sorry.

I can't hear.

My sister's giving birth in my head.

[LAUGHTER]

00:02:18,007 --> 00:02:23,485 [APPLAUSE]

Wait-- am I seeing wheat grass there?

Wait-- am I seeing wheat grass?

I would likes-- and just start chopping some.

Can I chop some off?

[LAUGHTER]

Thank you.

[LAUGHTER]

All right.

Put it in your mouth.

[APPLAUSE]

Put it in your mouth and chew on it.

[LAUGHTER]

00:02:47,777 --> 00:02:48,635 This is so good!

["SORRY NOT SORRY" PLAYING]

I know you've wanted a flu shot.

Is this real?

Yep.

This is for real.

I know it's going to explode.

You know me better than-- it's not going to explode!

She's a nurse!

OK.

OK.

Not a real needle.

Oh!

[LAUGHTER]

Hold still.

(SINGING) Baby I'm sorry, I'm not sorry!

Hold still.

(SINGING) Being so bad, got me feeling so good.

[APPLAUSE]

(SINGING) Showing you up like you knew that I would.

Uh--

Oh!

Whoopie!

Uh, doin' it!

Uh-- r-- rockin' it hard.

I--

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

Who knows?

I don't have the--

[DINGING SOUND]

[APPLAUSE]

Don't even remember.

00:03:30,900 --> 00:03:32,700 I got it.

Oh my god!

Rockin' it hard.

I don't know what that means.

[LAUGHTER]

So I got one disappearing scarf.

(SINGING) Seven in a man--

(SINGING) If you talk, if you talk that talk, baby, better

walk, better walk--

[LAUGHTER]

[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]

(SINGING) Talk that talk, baby.

Better walk, better walk that--

There we are!

[CHEERING]

OK.

Is there another one?

[LAUGHTER]

00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:06,600 (SINGING) Baby I'm sorry, I'm not sorry.

Baby I'm sorry--

(SIGHING)

[LAUGHTER]

(SINGING) Being so bad got me feeling so good.

Showing you up like you knew that I would.

[LAUGHTER]

OK, ready?

Yep.

[LAUGHTER]

00:04:21,899 --> 00:04:23,099 Come on, Ellen.

It--

[LAUGHTER]

Now,um--

[LAUGHTER]

Now--

Oh, wow!

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]