Kill animals.

我殺了動物。

Ah, what what did you just say?

呃，你剛剛說什麼？

Oh, sorry, excuse me. Nah, not for food.

喔，抱歉，不好意思。不是吃的。

Uh.

呃。

Like I kill animals for no reason.

我毫無理由殺害動物。

That's...

這...

worse!

更爛！

Okay. Okay. Let me explain. one day while I was in second grade~

好~好~讓我解釋一下。在我讀二年級的某一天~

No~

不~

NO NO!

不不！

The internet

網友

hates

討厭

your songs, DANNY!(lies)

你的歌，Danny！(騙人)

But I just wanna be famous.

但我只是想紅。

Just do a story time animation instead,

只要做個故事動畫就好，

people e-

人們~

people eat those up!

人們都吃這套！

n0m 4x

阿姆阿姆阿姆阿姆。

But I've never done one-

但我沒做過耶-

TOO BAD.

太糟了。

But... change is scary...

但是...改變很可怕...

Maybe this is the only one you do forever. (uh)and then you can finally retire.

也許這是你唯一的機會。(呃) 然後你就可以退休了。

I don't want to retire but ok。

我不想退休但是也行。

TOO BAD!

太爛了！

Welcome to Danny's first and maybe last ever story time animation!!! about.. the time -gasp-

歡迎來到 Danny 第一次也許也是最後一次的故事動畫！！！關於..那段時光 (Danny 第一次也許也是最後一次的故事動畫！！！關於..那段時光( 喘)

he accidentally killed his -gasp- second-grade class -gasp- hamster, and it was kinda traumatizing-

他不小心殺了他 (喘) 二年級班上的 (喘) 倉鼠，其實有點傷人-

Oh yeah!!!

喔耶！！！

You're really not making this easy. It was a normal beautiful day back in 2003

你真的把事情複雜化了。這是個 2003 年正常美麗的一天。

The sun was shining.

陽光普照。

The playground blacktop was covered in fresh chalk drawing

遊樂場的柏油地面上佈滿了粉筆塗鴉。

and it was Friday and like what could ruin a Friday especially in second grade?

那是星期五，有什麼東西可以毀掉星期五，特別是二年級的星期五？

Uh a tsunami?

呃海嘯？

No, it was a rhetorical question.

不，剛剛只是修辭。

Oh- uh, pneumonia.

喔-呃，肺炎。

What no .This particular Friday was poppin. We were all drawing pictures. I was killing it with my signature

什麼，不是。這個特別的星期五很好玩。我們都在畫畫。我畫出了我的指標性作品。

Spongebob drawing. It was kind of my thing.

海綿寶寶。我還蠻愛的。

You know, I would draw a Sp*ngeB*b for the kids in the classroom. It was a business.

你知道嗎，我會幫同學畫海綿寶寶。當成事業經營。

Get your mediocre Sp*ngeB*b drawing by a 10 year old here!

來買一個十歲小孩化的普通海綿寶寶唷！

Do you have any food?

你有吃的嗎？

Nope!

沒有！

This is the Great Depression-

真是太讓人鬱卒了-

whOO lives in a pineapple under the sea!

喔是誰住在深海的大鳳梨裡！

To make this Friday even better,

為了讓這個星期五變得更好，

I was the pet feeder for the week, which means I get to feed our adorable class hamster fluffy!

我是這星期負責餵寵物的人，也就是說我要餵我們可愛的班寵倉鼠 Fluffy。

*WOW*

哇哇哇哇嗚。

Oh my gaa- is that the hamster you killed??

我的天啊-那是你殺的倉鼠嗎？？

Save all questions to the end, please. hehe. Also, yes.

問題留到最後再問，拜託。嘿嘿。然後，對就是。

All right, so it was 30 minutes until the bell dismissed us for the day and vibes were good.I put my crayons down.

好，所以離放學鐘聲鈴響還有半小時，氣氛很棒。我把蠟筆放下。

So I could fulfill my prophecy of feeding this dang hamster and and this is where things get weird .

這樣我才能才能餵那隻他喵的倉鼠，這就是事情變糟的開始。

At first,everything was going as planned. I took off the cage top. I opened up the food bag. I took out the food bowl

剛開始事情都照著計劃進行。我打開蓋子。我打開飼料袋。我拿出飼料碗。

I poured one scoop of nom noms into this bowl *so far so good* Fluffy delightfully started eating there was no issue. It was adorable

我倒了一匙好料的到碗裡 (目前都很棒) Fluffy 很開心地吃起來，一切都沒問題。牠很可愛。

WOW-

哇-

So adorable that there was no way I was not gonna pet him with my little itty-bitty finger.

可愛到我無法不用我小小的手指去摸牠。

As my finger went to pet his back, I was thinking about how great life was goin for me recently

當我的手指摸到牠的被，我想著我最近的人生也太美好了。

I was line leader a few days ago,

我前幾天當上路隊長。

My teacher awarded me with this huge holographic Pikachu sticker cuz I was a good boy, you know

老師給我了這個大張閃亮亮的皮卡丘貼紙因為我是個好男孩，你知道的。

Everything was fine. Good vibes were abruptly ended. However by reality biting me my butt except instead of my butt,

一切順利。好氣氛突然就消失了。就像現實咬了我的屁股，與其說是屁股，

It was my finger.

其實是我的手指。

instead of reality,

與其說是現實，

It was this dumbass hamster. The hamster turned around at lightning

其實是這隻笨蛋倉鼠。這隻倉鼠閃電般地轉身，

speed whipped out his freak teeth and bit my finger with everything he got.

秀出牠可怕的牙齒然後用盡全力咬我。

Holy shit. Now I'm super socially anxious so I don't like drawing too much attention myself

我的天。因為我超級社交焦慮所以我不想要引起太多注意。

So even though I was probably in the most amount of pain ever I did not yell. I didn't say anything.

所以即使我正在遭受人生最大的痛苦我沒有尖叫。我什麼都沒說。

I just stayed silent. I actually always thought about how if I was eating in public and I started choking.

我只是保持沉默。我其實總在想如果我在公共場合吃飯噎到。

I wouldn't make a whole scene out of it. I would probably just stand up and say:Excuse me!

我完全不會表現出來。大概只會站起來說：不好意思！

And silently walk out and die in the parking lot in solitude or something.

然後靜靜地走出去接著孤獨的死在停車場之類的。

Eugh... *sad music ensues*

(悲傷的音樂)

Jesus Christ can can can we move on here?

耶穌我們可以繼續了嗎？

Oh man I'm dying up here, huh *laugh track

天啊我快死了耶，(哈哈哈哈)

So I was silently freaking out with pain and I started instinctively swinging my hand around and the hamster, hoh, the hamster

所以我靜靜地在疼痛的恐懼中並且本能地甩我的手，然後這隻倉鼠，齁，這隻倉鼠。

He was along for the ride

他跟著轉。

um, he was not letting go until he did and he flung against the wall and

恩，他不放開直到他放開了然後撞到牆上，

Dropped behind the table where there was no opening.

掉在桌子後面，那裡沒有空隙

Hey Danny, wheres Fluffy?

嘿 Danny，Fluffy 在哪？

Don't know I don't know nothing man.

不知道我什麼都不知道。

Afternoon, uh, I'm here to~

午安，呃，我來~

I ain't going back to jail !

我不要監獄！

*crash*

(撞)

uhh...

呃...

I'm here to pick up my son Jimmy.

我來接我兒子 Jimmy。

Jimmy your dad's here.

Jimmy 你爸來了。

Ah HaHa! All right,that was pretty funny, I'm witted I'm witted!

啊哈哈！實在是很搞笑，我真機智，我真機智！

So, yeah, I killed the second-grade class hamster. I was mortified all weekend

所以，對，我殺了二年級班寵倉鼠。我整個周末都很有罪惡感。

And when I returned to class Monday our teacher gathered us on the road to tell us the bad news, apparently the custodian. Mr

星期一回學校上課的時候老師在路上把我們聚起來告訴我們這個壞消息。

Max found him dead behind the desk while he was cleaning and me being totally non

Max 打掃的時候在桌子後面發現他死了，然後我還很無恥，

incriminating raised my hand and asked so he was found behind the desk dead or

舉手問他是被發現死在桌子後面，

Was he found in the cage yet? Was there any blood like don't spare us the deets, teach. We got to know these things

或是被發現死在籠子裡？現場有什麼血跡嗎?不要漏掉任何蛛絲馬跡，老師。我們需要了解這些。

It sucks dude. There was a kid who brought a bag of baby carrots that day for Fluffy and he was just standing there crying

感覺超爛。那天有個小孩帶了一袋的小紅蘿蔔要餵 Fluffy，他就站著哭了起來。

Eh deh deh- I picked these baby carrots myself.

嗚嗚嗚-我自己採了這些小紅蘿蔔。

I bottled this up and kept it a secret for years.

我把這件事塵封在內心很多年。

Until I was a senior in high school and it came time to write your senior quote for the yearbook.

直到我上高中要寫上畢業感言到畢業紀念冊上時。

I couldn't think of anything and...

我什麼都想不到然後...

I thought well 10 years is long enough and I admitted to killing fluffy the hamster for my entire school district to read

我想十年已經夠長了，我就在，我就在紀念冊上坦承我殺了倉鼠 Fluffy。

You monster.

你這個禽獸。

And you know what it felt good, okay.

你知道的，感覺很好，okay。

It was the perfect way for me to end crappy high school and leave with a bang.

這對我來說是結束垃圾高中生活最好的方式，留下了震撼彈。

People thought it was kind of funny too, comedic timing is everything.

大家也覺得很有趣，很搞笑的時機。

Especially when you bottle everything up for a decade and let it negatively affect how your brain developed from a young age

特別是當你藏了十年然後讓你的頭腦從童年就受到負面影響。

Uh, Are these are these things supposed to have lessons at the end or...

呃，這些事是不是應該讓我學到教訓或...

YES.

是的。

Ya idiot.

你這個白癡。

Uh.. D-..

c...不-..

Don't murder-.. things. Don't- Don't kill-

不要謀殺-..東西。不要-不要殺-

Uh..

呃..

Keep.

繼續。

sh*t!

X！

Uhh! Oh my gawd!

喔！我的天！

Hey, what's up?

嘿，如何？

Thanks for watching. My very first storytime I think it came out all right, I'm curious.

感謝收看。我的第一部故事動畫順利推出，我很好奇。

What's what's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you at school.?You could leave it in the comments below and oh, hey animated me

你在學校最尷尬的事情是什麼？可以在下面留言。這個是動畫化的我。

That's a nice hoodie you got there. Well, guess what? They're available to cop now. It's my very own designed limited edition

這是件很棒的帽 T。猜到了嗎？現在有機會帶回家。這是我獨家設計的限量版。

Black your special hoodie last time we sold out of these pretty quick

上次黑色的特色帽 T 超快賣光。

And since YouTube has a very special place in my heart.

因為 YouTube 在我心中有很特別的地位。

Everybody watching this video gets a free discount code to save you some moolah. As always, thanks for the support.

每位觀眾可以得到免費折扣碼省一點錢。一樣，謝謝支持。

Can't wait to make more videos. Maybe another storytime one day. Who knows?

等不及要做更多影片了。也許某天會有另一個故事動畫。誰知道呢？

Anything's possible.

沒有什麼不可能。

*f@rt*

(噗)

Subscribe!!!! Ring the bell!!!!!

訂閱！！！！開啟小鈴鐺！！！！

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按讚。