THE IMPEACHMENT IS GETTING A

NEW BOOST.

GET THIS, IT INCLUDES

CELEBRITIES.

ROSIE O'DONNELL, TOM ARNOLD,

DEBRA MESSING, I THOUGHT THEY

SAID CELEBRITIES.

[LAUGHTER]

ROSIE, DEBORAH, TOM, I THINK

THE LAST HIT TOM HAD WAS FROM

A CRACK PIPE.

JUST KIDDING TOM, DON'T SUE

ME, I LOVE YOU.

WHO KNOWS WHAT THESE CRUSADERS

WILL COME UP WITH.

I'M SURE THEY'LL GET HELP FROM

ADAM, MR. SCHIFF WHO IT SEEMS

IN THE REAL TRANSCRIPT HE

DECIDED HE BETTER MAKE UP ONE

OF HIS OWN

OF HIS ON

OF HIS OWN.

I'M IN A SAY THIS ONLY SEVEN

TIMES SO YOU BETTER LISTEN

GOOD.

I WANT TO MAKE UP DIRT ON MY

POLITICAL OPPONENT, LOTS OF IT

AND DON'T CALL ME AGAIN, I'LL

CALL YOU WHEN YOU'VE DONE WHAT

I ASKED.

>> A REMINDER THAT WASN'T JUST

STUPID, IT WAS FALSE.

BUT IT WAS WHAT THE MEDIA

WANTED TO HEAR SO ADAM

OBLIGED.

IT WONDERS, IF YOU CAN MANGLE

A TRANSCRIPT WITH SUCH

CREATIVITY, IMAGINE WHAT HE

COULD DO TO OTHER STUFF.

>> AND NOW ADAM READS NURSERY

RHYMES.

>> THERE WAS AN OLD WOMAN WHO

LIVED IN A SHOE.

SHE HAD SO MANY CHILDREN SHE

DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

SHE GAVE THEM SOME BROTH

WITHOUT ANY BREAD AND WHIPPED

THEM ALL SOUNDLY AND PUT THEM

TO BED.

A WISE COURSE OF ACTION.

[APPLAUSE]

ALL RIGHT.

SO HOW IS TRUMP HOLDING UP?

FINE CONSIDERING THERE'S NO

OTHER MAN WE'VE EVER MET THAT

COULD'VE TAKEN IT.

>> THERE'S NO OTHER MAN THAT

WE'VE EVER MET THAT COULD'VE

TAKEN IT.

THAT'S TRUE MAYBE I'M A LITTLE

DIFFERENT UP HERE, I DON'T

KNOW BUT I ENJOY IT.

I'M ENERGIZED.

>> AND BOY IS HE.

ASK HIM WAS JOE BIDEN A GOOD

VICE PRESIDENT.

>> HE WAS ONLY A GOOD VICE

PRESIDENT BECAUSE HE

UNDERSTOOD HOW TO KISS BARACK

OBAMA'S.

>> COME ON, SUCH LANGUAGE.

YOU KNOW THEY'RE GOING TO

COMPLAIN THAT YOU USE TERRIBLE

WORDS.

>> THEY COMPLAIN SOMETIMES

THAT I USE A TERRIBLE WORD.

I USED HELP THE OTHER DAY.

I GOT HELP.

THEY SAID HE USE TERRIBLE

LANGUAGE.

I USE THE WORD HELL.

IT WAS SO BAD.

YOU SHOULD HEAR JAY-Z, THE

WORD HE WAS USING.

HE WAS USING THE F WORD AND

THE NEXT DAY THEY SAY I USED

BAD LANGUAGE.

>> A REMINDER THAT JAY-Z IS

NOT PRESIDENT, BUT ANYWAY, I

GET WHY THE MEDIA IS TRYING TO

DESTROY HIS PRESIDENCY.

YOU HAVE RECORD EMPLOYMENT,

RECORD HIGH MEDIAN INCOME,

PRISON REFORM, TROOPS COMING

HOME, SO WHY WOULDN'T YOU WANT

TO RUIN THAT, BUT I GET IT.

IT'S A LIBERAL TO DO WHEN A

REPUBLICAN TURNS OUT TO BE

BETTER AT COMPASSION THAN YOU

ARE.

IF YOU'RE ADAM SCHIFF, YOU

KEEP CHANGING THE STORY.

>> AND NOW ADAM SCHIFF READS

NURSERY RHYMES.

>> LITTLE JACK HORNER SAT IN

THE CORNER EATING A CHRISTMAS

PIE.

HE PUT IN HIS THUMB AND PULLED

OUT A PLUM AND SAID WHAT A

GOOD BOY AM I OR WAS HE.

>> I FEEL A CHILL UP MY

SPINE.

WHAT YOU'RE SEEING IS A

SHAMELESS BRAZEN EFFORT BY THE

MEDIA TO UNDO AN ELECTION.

THE QUESTION REMAINS HOW THEY

ACTUALLY THOUGHT THIS

THROUGH?

YOU SAW THAT RALLY AND USE

THAT ENERGY.

THE MORE INTENSELY THE

ESTABLISHMENT MEDIA TARGETS

THOSE PEOPLE, THE MORE THE

TRUMP MOVEMENT GETS.

WHEN IT BECOMES OBVIOUS THAT

IT'S JUST THE NEW YORK TIMES

AND ADAM SCHIFF VERSUS

MIDWESTERNERS AND RED HATS,

WHO'S GOING TO END UP BEING

THE HERO?

IT'S OBVIOUS, CANCELING OUT

THE VOTES OF 60 MILLION PEOPLE

WILL TURN TRUMP INTO THE MOST

UNLIKELY REBEL LEADER IN

HISTORY, AND ORANGE CROSS.

[INAUDIBLE]

>> AND NOW ADAM READS NURSERY

RHYMES.

>> HUMPTY DUMPTY SAT ON A

WALL, MR. DUMP THE ON THE WALL

REPRESENTS PORCH OF OUR

CORRUPT PRESIDENT.

HUMPTY DUMPTY HAD A GREAT

FALL, CLEARLY A REFERENCE TO

OUR FALL OF DEMOCRACY UNDER

PRESIDENT TRUMP ADAM SCHIFF,

EVERYBODY SO HOW GREAT IS THIS

THAT THE LEFT ALWAYS WANTED AN

AMERICAN RADICAL LEADER.

THERE OWN.

OUTCOME OF THEIR OWN, FINALLY