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Did you ever feel, like when you were being bullied that you wanted to take your own life?
Yeah.
Sorry.
Yeah.
Virginia and I met in middle school.
Our relationship was basically, she was someone that I picked on.
I was a bully to Virginia.
So, my first encounter with bullying, I guess with her, probably was around fifth grade.
I think I said nasty things about how much she weighed.
The kids I went to school with in elementary and middle school, we all lived in the same neighborhood.
So, I wouldn't come outside most of the time because most of the kids that kind of were mean to me lived in my neighborhood.
I can't say that I really had any friends back then.
I was a bit underweight.
I had eyeglasses.
I went through seven years of orthodontic work.
I was picked on for that, and so I would project it onto her for being overweight.
Do you have any questions for Nyasha?
I guess the main question would just be, why now?
As selfish as it sounds, I don't wanna feel guilty for something that my childhood self was doing.
- Hi. - Hi.
How are you?
I'm good, how are you?
I'm good.
You look good.
Thank you.
So do you.
What do you remember about me from grade school?
You always were so bubbly, I remember that.
I don't know.
What do you remember about me?
I remember more of what I said about you and I don't...
I know a lot of the, I guess, the words, the harsh words were more about my appearance.
I remember I was picking on you about your weight.
Nobody noticed the shift, but my grandmother passed away when I was in middle school, and she used to take medicine for cancer, and it made her gain a lot of weight because she wasn't really worried about how big she was.
I kind of stopped worrying about how big I got.
People just kept bothering me, and I think the major question was just, why me?
I felt like I was always very nice to you and very nice to everybody else, so it just, it bothered me because it was just like what did I ever do to you all for me to even be subjected to that?
I was underweight, and I was taking medicine to be a healthy weight, and so I was projecting that on you and I don't think that I even had any problem with the way you looked or your weight at all.
Why didn't you stop?
I was being bullied, and so I knew it was wrong, you know?
I didn't want that done to me, but yet, I turn around and was doing it to other people.
I had no idea you were being bullied, either.
It's funny you thought that I was very bubbly and friendly because I was wearing this like, I wear it better now and more honest about my feelings, but I was definitely wearing a facade.
Right.
I'd go home, cry about it, come back and be all like, ne ne ne ne ne ne ne.
Mm hm.
And then I'd pick on people that I felt like weren't gonna pick back with me.
Right.
It's not you, I mean it wasn't just you, so I'm not gonna sit here and give you all of that.
Did you ever feel, like when you were being bullied that you wanted to take your own life?
Yeah.
Sorry.
Yeah.
It was definitely a thought.
This is probably the first time I've ever said it out loud.
Well, probably the second time I've ever said it out loud but, yeah.
I can't say that I hadn't thought about it.
It's such a sad thing to think about.
Wait, you said you thought about this too?
Uh, Yes.
Just short answer, yes.
I was insecure for a long time about my weight, about my appearance, about the way I dress.
It took a long time for me to kind of like me.
The more I'm listening to you, the more I feel like, yeah.
We had a lot in common.
It'd take a lot for me to really hate you.
I didn't feel like I hated you then.
I don't feel like I hate you now.
And it took a long time for me to say, even though I haven't said it to you, that I forgive you for that.
- It was a lot to deal with... - I'm sorry.
It's okay.
It was a lot to deal with ,and I just wanted to move on from it.
I've never actually had something like that happen to me before.
I definitely did not expect for Virginia and I to have so much in common.
It felt good, just to kinda close a sorta chapter in my life that was pretty sucky.
I know, it's okay!
Even if you didn't let me, I was gonna hug you.
Oh my god, no.
Yes.
Yes.
You're like, I was gonna hug you anyway because I don't care.
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【品德教育】你曾被霸凌或霸凌他人嗎?長大後你們雙方有機會碰面的話,你會想說什麼? (A Bully Apologizes To Her Victim 15 Years Later)

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Fibby 發佈於 2019 年 11 月 12 日    Fibby 翻譯    Steve 審核
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