I can't decide. There's so many options.

我不能決定。有這麼多的選擇。

It's like, who even watches all this stuff?

這就像，誰甚至看這些東西？

How about "Flip My Aquarium"?

"翻轉我的水族箱 "怎麼樣？

- Oh, God, never mind. - Yeah, that sounds terrible.

- 哦，上帝，沒關係。- 是啊，這聽起來很可怕。

How about this? "Britain's Smallest Pies."

這個怎麼樣？ - "英國最小的餡餅"英國最小的派"

That sounds... fine?

這聽起來... ... 很好？

Sure. Try it out.

當然，試試吧

[bleep]! We've got a live one, people!

[嗶]！我們有一個活的，人！

What is it this time, boss?

這次又是什麼事，老闆？

Someone clicked on the tiny [bleep] pie show.

有人點開了小[嗶]餅秀。

Why would someone click on that?

為什麼會有人點擊呢？

I don't know why, but they did.

我不知道為什麼，但他們做到了。

And it's not real, so we need to make up something quick. Go on!

而且這不是真的，所以我們需要快速編造一些東西。去吧！

I'm sorry, what are we doing?

對不起，我們在做什麼？

Your first day?

你的第一天？

Buckle up, kid.

繫好安全帶，孩子。

The majority of shows and movies on Netflix are fake.

Netflix上的大部分節目和電影都是假的。

Just catchy titles with nice-looking graphic boxes, so it looks like we have all the shows in the world.

只是朗朗上口的標題，配上好看的圖文框，這樣看起來我們就有了世界上所有的節目。

Yeah, they're padding for real shows like "Stranger Things" and "Frasier."

是啊，他們是在為 "怪奇物語 "和 "Frasier "這樣的真實節目做鋪墊。

So whenever somebody clicks on one of these fake bullshit titles like "Britain's Smallest Pies" or "Battery Hoarders" or "Santa Clarita Diet," we have to slap something together real quick.

所以，每當有人點擊這些假的廢話標題，如 "英國最小的餡餅 "或 "電池囤積者 "或 "聖克拉裡塔飲食"，我們必須快速地拍一些東西。

All right, come on, people! We can't buffer forever, let's go!

好了，來吧，大家！我們不能永遠緩衝，我們走吧！

- Lena. - What?

- 莉娜- 什麼？

- Get the pie! - Pie?

- 去拿派！- 餡餅？

- Get the pie! - Where, where?

- 去拿派！- 哪裡，哪裡？

- From the pie closet! - What?

- 從餡餅櫃裡拿出來的！- 什麼？

- Smallest pie you find! - Okay, I'll find it!

- 你找到的最小的餡餅！- 好，我去找！

Boss? We've got a pie.

老闆？我們有一個餡餅。

Great! Now put it down!

厲害！現在把它放下！

We're ready for your voiceover.

我們準備好了你的配音。

Perfect.

完美的。

- I'm sorry, are you British? - Huh?

- 對不起，你是英國人嗎？- 咦？

Are you a pie?

你是派嗎？

Then get out of the shot! Get out of the shot.

那就離開鏡頭！別拍了

All right. Everybody quiet down.

好了，大家安靜下來。大家安靜下來。

Everybody quiet down.

大家都安靜下來。

We're going live in three, two, one, "Pies come in all shapes and sizes."

我們三二一直播，"餡餅有各種形狀和大小"。

"But in this show, they're all small."

"但在這個節目中，他們都是小人物。"

"Join us as we take a look at some of Britain's smallest pies."

"和我們一起看看英國最小的餡餅"

This is it? This is boring as shit.

就這樣？這是無聊的狗屎。

Yeah, I thought it was going to be like a competition or something?

是啊，我還以為會是個比賽什麼的呢？

No competition here. It's just... this.

這裡沒有競爭 只是... 這個

Oh, thank God! They turned it off.

哦，感謝上帝！他們把它關掉了。

Great work, everyone. Great work!

各位，幹得好偉大的工作！

Uh, boss. You're going to want to see this.

呃，老闆。你會想看看這個的。

Now what?

現在怎麼辦？

The same couple. Now they're hovering over a title called "Big Pointy Houses."

同一對夫婦。現在他們在一個叫 "大尖屋 "的題目上徘徊。

Looks like they're deciding between that and "The Shrimp Whisperer."

看來他們要在這個和 "蝦語者 "之間做決定了。

The [bleep] is wrong with these people?

[嗶]這些人是怎麼了？

Why can't they watch "Stranger Things" or "Frasier" like normal people?

為什麼他們不能像正常人一樣看 "奇遇 "或 "Frasier"？

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

We have to prepare for both contingencies.

我們必須為這兩種情況做好準備。

Martinez, find me stock footage of the biggest, pointiest houses you can. Go!

Martinez，給我找些最大的，最尖的房子的錄像。去吧！

Jackson, call that guy you know, the one with the shrimp boat.

傑克遜，打電話給那個你認識的人，那個開蝦船的人。

Go, go, go, go!

走，走，走，走，走！

What if we don't have enough time for that?

如果我們的時間不夠用怎麼辦？

We'll just play something else. Pretend it's a glitch.

我們就玩點別的吧假裝它是一個小故障。

A real show. I don't know, like "Frasier."

一個真正的節目。我不知道，像 "Frasier"。

Crisis averted, sir. They picked "Black Mirror."

危機解除了，長官他們選了 "黑鏡"。

Oh, thank God. That was close.

哦，感謝上帝。好險啊

- Oh, no. - What?

- 哦，不- 什麼？

Some guy in Minnesota just pressed play on "Santa Clarita Diet"!

明尼蘇達州的一些人剛剛按下了 "聖克拉裡塔飲食 "的播放鍵！

Okay. Get me Drew Barrymore!

好吧，給我接德魯-巴里摩爾！給我接德魯-巴里摩爾！

Why is she so mad?

她為什麼這麼生氣？

She's been down here for two seasons.

她已經在這裡呆了兩季了。

You know what? Let's just play "Frasier."

你知道嗎？我們就玩 "Frasier "吧。