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Here, let me, yummy, here you go, okay.
Very nice!
Your candy has been crushed, sir.
But luckily he kept his wits, and his purple crayon.
Ooh damn, dang, dang, dang, oh dang!
Here we go, okay, okay, we got my bag, baby bag, baby seat.
- Bye Hun. - Wait, keys, wait, baby!
Okay, can't forget the baby.
- Hello! - Hey!
How was your day?
Cheers!
- Cheers! -Happy date night!
Have a good night!
Do you guys like Pitbull?
We're all gonna be young forever, woo!
Hey!
Hey, sorry, I just put the baby down.
Oh, thanks for the beer.
Ah, I can't wait to have kids!
Mm, trust me, you can wait.
It all seems so magical, you know, when you see your baby smile for the first time, or walk...
Yeah, or clean up a stage five poop blow out, that gets all over the changing table, which the dog then eats for some reason, because he likes eating poop.
It's not that kinda dog.
And then he vomits that poop all over the couch, which you just cleaned baby vomit off of.
And as much as you try and clean it, that couch will forever be known as the vomit couch.
Yeah, that sounds bad.
Yeah.
I don't know, I mean I wonder, when am I gonna be ready to have kids?
You're never ready, that's the thing.
Really, not even like, at age 30?
Yeah.
Huh.
Are you guys sleeping much?
Turns out the human body is incredibly resilient.
I don't even need much more then four hours of sleep.
You look exhausted.
I know, I'm in denial.
Look, I get it, I mean I been waking up early too.
I've been doing this 7 A.M. workout class.
Oh, 7 A.M., wow.
You're such a martyr, oh my God, your life sounds so hard.
I mean, sometimes when I got out, I sleep in, but I find I can't sleep much past 10AM.
I would literally only eat pineapple-pizza for the rest of my life if it meant I could sleep 'til 10 A.M.
Oh god.
Yeah.
I hate pineapple-pizza.
And I love pizza.
You get me.
It's tough, but it's worth it.
Sounds like having a really cute puppy.
Cute doesn't even begin to describe it.
Cute is like something you see in a photo, you know.
Plush toys, those are cute.
Having a baby, it's, it's, sublime.
When I hold him, or rock him, or play with him, I'm filled with this impossibly vast love.
I don't know, it's like, you see the baby and for a moment, you get a glimpse of the mystery of life.
Whenever I see him crawling around, or exploring things, I can tell he's just disovering the world and seeing 1,000 things every second.
It's awesome.
Wow.
Yeah.
Well, next rounds on me.
More drinks?
Yes, let's get another drink, let's stay out all night.
Let's, I'm kidding, I'm kidding, I should go.
We've got squad crew-necks, we've got a baby onesie.
We got a baby that's trying to escape.
- His hat! - Oh no!
His hat, hats off to that!
You can get it at TryGuys.com
Get my bicep curls!
You know, as you grow older, Daddy's gonna have to just get stronger.
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新手爸媽淚推大喊太貼切!看看「生小孩前 vs. 生小孩後」生活一百八十度的大轉變! (Ned's Life Before Kids Vs. After Kids)

1422 分類 收藏
Annie Chien 發佈於 2019 年 10 月 8 日    Annie Chien 翻譯    Evangeline 審核
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