STAND WITH PRESIDENT TRUMP AND BUY YOUR PACK OF STRAWS TODAY. 00:00:12.711 --> 00:00:17.550 align:start position:0% ( LAUGHTER ) ♪ 00:00:17.583 --> 00:00:27.627 align:start position:0% ♪ ♪ 00:00:27.627 --> 00:00:34.067 align:start position:0% ♪ ♪ 00:00:34.100 --> 00:00:37.470 align:start position:0% ♪ >> I ASK YOU TODAY TO JOIN ME -- 00:00:37.503 --> 00:00:39.739 align:start position:0% 'LL NEVER JOIN YOU! 00:00:39.772 --> 00:00:41.374 size:81% position:41% LUKE, I AM YOUR PRESIDENT! 00:00:41.407 --> 00:00:52.752 align:start position:0% THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!ñr NO! 00:00:52.785 --> 00:00:54.187 align:start position:0% YOU ARE A LOSER. 00:00:54.220 --> 00:00:56.789 align:start position:0% ♪ ♪ 00:00:56.822 --> 00:00:59.392 size:88% position:44% >> Announcer: IT'S "THE LATE SHOW" WITH STEPHEN COLBERT!