First, Tim Cook walks out and introduces the all new...And here it is.
Jason Momoa? What?
This event was bonkers, so let's check it out.
Spoiler alert! iPhone just went Pro.
This thing is insane.
Telephoto, wide, ultra wide, and the highest-quality video on any smartphone ever.
Plus the Super Retina XDR display and spatial audio.
A monster A13 chip and battery life up to five hours longer.
Then Tim's like, "And there's another iPhone: the dual-camera iPhone 11."
Cat gets all frisky? You're good.
Throw it in your purse? You're good.
Spill coffee on it? Nooo!
Nope, you're good.
It also takes fab photos in the dark.
Takes slow-mo selfies, or slowfies.
But it's blazing fast with privacy built in.
Next up, Apple Watch Series 5.
What does it do?
Well, it tells time and it has an always-on Retina display, and takes phone calls, and counts your swim strokes, and communicates with satellites, and is your subway card, and streams 50 million songs, and has an app that can take an ECG.
And apparently tells time.
Lots to say about the new iPad's bigger display, but instead, I'll leave you with one little tidbit.
It's two times faster than the best-selling PC, and it's just 329 bucks.
Oh, and for something cool to put on all those new screens, Apple Arcade drops 100 brand-new games all this year.
And pretty sure Tim said Apple TV+ Oprah, Momoa, Witherspoon, and Aniston are all included for a year with these new products.
So go to the website.
When you get there, slow your scroll, people.
Take a breath, check your heart rate, and check it all out right here.