My fight against legal system struggle and society and struggle to face this instant started.

我對法律體系及整個社會的抗爭，就始於這時候。

My name is Shiori Ito. This book is about my experience of rape.

我叫做伊藤詩織。這本書有關我被強暴的經歷。

So "Black Box" is the word I often heard during the investigation and prosecution.

「黑箱」是一個我在偵查和起訴過程中常聽見的字眼。

Sex crime, well, the rape, sexual violence often happen behind doors and it's rare to find any witness.

性犯罪、強暴、性暴力通常發生於隱秘之中，極少會有任何目擊者。

I am on doubt that there are some black boxes in our legal system.

我懷疑我們的法律體系存在一些「黑箱」。

During the investigation as well. So I decided to use this word.

偵查過程也是。因此我決定採用這個字眼。

Mr. Yamaguchi used to be a former bureau chief of TBS in Washington bureau.

山口先生曾擔任東京廣播公司華盛頓辦公處的處長。

I emailed Mr. Yamaguchi whether there is any opening in the job, he said well there is opening for producers as well, and we decided meet up to discuss.

我寄信給山口先生詢問職缺，他說正缺製作人，所以我們決定見面討論。

That was on the night I met him after work.

那是在我下班後與他見面的當晚。

We were just eating and drink and at some point I felt quite dizzy.

我們就只是在吃飯、喝東西，然後我開始覺得很暈。

And I went to bathroom and that was the last moment that I remember from that night.

我去到洗手間，那是我當晚最後的記憶了。

It took me two days to tell even my best friend. It took me five days to go to police.

我在兩天後才終於能對我最好的朋友啟齒。過了五天才終於去跟警察報案。

My biggest struggle was that I couldn't remember how I had no idea how I got to the place, the hotel.

我最大的掙扎點在於，我完全不記得我是怎麼到了那個地方，那間飯店。

And I never lost conscious after drinking. I couldn't think of him as a rapist right off.

而且我從未在飲酒後喪失意識。我當下也無法把他和性侵犯聯想在一塊。

I was also respecting him.

我當時還對他保有尊重。

Unfortunately in this case never being prosecuted.

不幸的是，這件案子從未起訴。

Prosecutor dropped this case, but now we are in a civil court case.

檢察官撤銷起訴，不過我們現在在走民事訴訟。

So we had a 110 year old rape law, it just changed in 2013 right after I spoke about this instance.

我們的性侵法律 110 年未曾更動，直到 2013 年我出聲後才終於改變。

And the victim, the survivor has to be the one to report to the police.

受害人，身為倖存者，必須自行去向警方報案。

We have to prove how much we fight back, how much we've been threatened.

我們必須證明自己如何反抗、受到了多少威脅。

And one of the research from Sweden shows that when you have been sexually violated, 70% of victims have experienced frighten in a frozen status.

瑞典的一項研究顯示，一旦經歷性暴力，有 70% 的受害者會處於驚嚇、麻木之中。

It's quite difficult to ask especially if you're intoxicated, if you are a drunk.

很難問出細節，尤其如果你被下藥了，如果你喝醉了。

Only 4% of victim go to police and report.

只有 4% 的受害人向警察報案。

So... we know it's happening, but it's really rare to hear these cases.

所以 …… 大眾知道有這種事，但很少會真的聽到。

I was worried about my future, my family to make any changes.

我擔憂我的未來，擔憂我的家人要做任何改變。

First we need to know what is going on and I felt that's my work.

首先我們要先知道事情的經過，我感覺這是我該做的。

In 2017, in May 29th, I've decided to speak about my experience and (had a) press conference.

在 2017 年 5 月 29 日，我決定出來講述我的經歷並召開記者會。

Because I believe in journalism, I believe in speaking up. I believe in the story telling.

因為我信任新聞業，我相信說出口的力量。我相信事情講述的力量。

The journalist I trusted, he said you should wear a white shirt and the jacket so you look decent.

一位我信任的記者對我說，我應該穿白襯衫和外套，看起來比較得體。

And I said, no way.

我說，絕不要。

I didn't want to be... to show the uniform of what victims should be or behave because we have daily life in and... of course, he was right.

我不想成為 …… 不想讓自己看起來或是行為起來像個受害者，因為我們的日常起居 …… 而當然，他說對了。

That was one of the reasons why I guess got a backlash. I got many names like bitch, prostitute.

我猜這是我遭受抨擊的其中一個原因。我聽過有人叫我婊子、妓女。

And maybe in this video as well.

或許在這部片裡也是。

"Why is she wearing this, you know sleeveless clothes?"

「她怎麼穿這樣啊，無袖衣？」

But look, we have done nothing wrong, and we should be behaving out of ourselves.

但重點是，我們並沒有做錯任何事，我們應該就表現出我們自己。

I think there is always rape myth.

我想外界一直有一種強暴迷思。

That people have the rape, often happen in a dark street attack by a stranger.

人們認為強暴多半發生在陰暗的小巷弄裡，而且是被陌生人攻擊。

But actually 90% of the cases happens by someone you know.

但事實上有 90% 的案例中加害者都是認識的人。

There is no concept of consent in our law and in general.

在我們的法律和大眾認知中，沒有所謂「同意」這種概念。

There is saying in Japanese: "Yayo Yayo Moschino ji", "no no means yes" or "I like it."

日語有句話：Yayo Yayo Moschino ji，意思是「不要就是要」或是「我喜歡」。

It's not written in our law.

我們法律中沒寫到。

How (would) people know?

人們又怎麼會知道？

There are some of the convenience stores decided to take down the pornography magazine but before it was so easy to reach in our daily life.

一些便利店決定將色情書刊下架，但在之前我們日常生活中充斥了這些。

Sometimes, rape has been used in these pornography as well.

有時候，強暴甚至被當做色情題材。

So in the place like Japan, we have such a lack of sex education, but we have so many sex content.

所以在像日本這地方，我們缺乏性教育，但卻有如此多的性內容。

I think, somehow we were always embedded with sexual assault in a daily life.

我認為，我們日常生活中總會遭遇一些性侵犯。

I think I was about 10 years old.

我想那是在我差不多十歲時。

I was wearing bikini and there was this guy, (who) groped me in the swimming pool.

我穿著比基尼，然後有個男的，在泳池裡對我猥褻。

I just froze and then once he was over I went to my parents and friends.

我當下呆住了，他一完事我就去找我父母和我朋友。

My mother said that It's because I was wearing bikini, cute bikini.

我媽媽說，那是因為我穿著可愛的比基尼。

I know she was trying to ease me, but that shocked me that that was my fault because I wore a bikini.

我知道她是在試著安撫我，但穿比基尼竟然是我的錯，我對此感到震驚。

It continues especially I remember when I was wearing school uniform, especially on the public train.

這種事一再發生，我記得尤其當我穿著校服在電車上時。

And so we just have to live with it?

所以就這樣算了？我們應當容忍？

I felt very responsible that I never made noise about it.

我很自責當下沒有做出任何反抗。

So when I come to this violence, which hurt me the most, I can't say one things.

所以當我遭遇這次的暴力，對我傷害最深的一次，我真的受夠了。

You have an advice, of course for the investigation wise it's better to go to police as soon as possible to get the physical evidence.

有個建議是，為了調查順利，最好盡快去向警察報案，任何取得物理證據。

But the the most important thing that I wish to say is, the survival is first.

但我想說最重要的事是，活下去。

For me, to survive was to telling the truth, but for others, it's not the same.

對我來說，說出實情是讓我活下去的方式，但對其他人來說或許不是一回事。

Maybe some of them is to just keep continue with their life for a while.

或許有些人只想當沒事、繼續過日子。

People around you often tell you that you should forget about it. Just move on.

周遭的人們經常告訴我們，忘了吧。只管繼續過日子。

For me, every day is still surviving. It still makes me cry, still makes me, you know, panic, till nowadays.

對我來說，每一天都是倖存的一天。這件事依舊讓我流淚，時至今日依舊讓我畏懼。

Different places, different country has different issues, but I feel like a...

不同的地方、不同的國家有不同的問題，但我感覺...

Fundamentally, um... we are making documentary film in Africa in Sierra Leone about FGM.

我感覺根本上 …… 打個比方，我們在非洲的獅子山共和國拍了一部在講女性割禮的紀錄片。

It's like a social pleasure that if you want to be a decent woman, you should be cut off your clitoris.

這就像一種社會期待，認為你如果要當個得體的女性，就必須將陰蒂割除。

One of Japanese University, one of female students say that, I feel like I've been mentally FGMed.

某日本大學的一位女學生說，她感覺仿佛心理遭受割禮。

Meaning that... in Japan as well, there is a certain way the society see women, how women should be.

意思是 …… 在日本也一樣，社會有一套看待女性的標準，認為女性該如何舉止。

Shinjuku shows that the majority was male leader for the Black Box.

新宿顯示，《黑箱》裡的大部分領導人為男性。

Some of them was saying that they could never imagine what's the sexual violence is, but they can imagine what it is like to be under control by the power.

他們有些人說他們永遠無法想像遭受性暴力，但他們可以想像受控於他人之下的感覺。

I'm sure everyone must have experienced these things, in the school, in workplace, and family.

我肯定每個人都有過這類經歷，無論是在學校、職場、或是家庭裡。

I definitely see the change in media that there are now reporting in Japan and I hear more stories.

我看到日本現在的媒體報導開始改變了，也聽見了更多故事。

Now the law has changed of course, but we need to change more. It's just we can't wait any hundred years more.

當然了現在法律改變了，但我們必須做出更多改變。不可能再等另外百年。