That's why in this video I wanna reveal what the media has been hiding from you.

這就是為什麼今天這部影片我想要來揭露媒體對你們隱瞞的資訊。

And I hope that my arguments will convince you to never ever think about exercising again.

希望我的論點可以說服你們，讓你們再也不會想要運動。

First of all, your body is designed to sit all day.

首先，你的身體結構是適合拿來坐上一整天的。

It's vital for your health to understand that the human body is a fascinating organism which obviously works best when you lie down and relax without any physical activity.

為了你的健康著想，你必須了解你神奇的身體很明顯地在你躺下來休息，什麼事都不做的時候運作得最好。

Right?

對吧？

It's not like humans had to run from predators or explore new lands.

人類又不用被敵人追殺或要尋找新大陸。

That's a total lie; undoubtedly they were enjoying their time, talking to penguins, and cracking a cold one with them.

那都是騙人的，他們毫無疑問地是在跟企鵝講話，和牠們喝一杯，享受美好時光。

And let me ask you the ultimate question.

讓我問你們一個終極問題。

Why do you think pizza, ice cream and all the junk food taste so good?

你為什麼覺得披薩、冰淇淋及所有不健康的食物那麼好吃？

Allegedly, science says that calories were scarce, so taste receptors evolved to reward you with that sweet flavor whenever you find food that is packed with sugar, fat, or extra calories that are important for survival.

科學上據稱，當卡路里極低時，味覺感受器感受到充滿糖、脂肪或多餘的卡路里時會因為生存的重要而給你甜甜的獎勵。

But come on man!

但是拜託好嘛！

It's 2018!

2018 年了！

Do people really still believe in science?

大家還相信科學嗎？

Sugar was ubiquitous in our ancestor's time.

糖在我們祖先的世界是無處不在的。

The sky used to rain muffins and doughnuts constantly.

天空以前常常下馬芬雨、甜甜圈雨。

Calories were available everywhere.

卡路里哪裡都有。

Therefore the body definitely had to adapt to eating lots of sugary stuff.

所以身體一定已經習慣了吃甜食。

So please continue shoving your mouth with many unnecessary calories.

所以拜託你繼續把不必要的卡路里往嘴裡塞。

This is the way to go healthy.

這就是健康的方法。

Which brings me to my most important point: Exercise is exhausting; you shouldn't get tired at all.

這就能接到我最重要的一點，運動很累，你不需要這麼累。

Keep your heart rate at the lowest level possible.

讓你的心率保持越低越好。

There are lots of rumors that say exercise is good for the heart and all.

有很多傳聞說運動對心臟很好什麼的。

But you don't like feeling sore after a workout, and you prefer to lie down and scroll through Instagram.

但你不喜歡運動後肌肉痠痛的感覺，你比較想要躺下來滑 Instagram 。

Great!

太好了！

Keep it up.

保持下去。

The best thing that could help you through your depression journey is to look in front of a mirror and hate your body image.

幫助你度過憂鬱最好的方式就是看著鏡子前自己，討厭自己的體態。

Cool.

太酷了。

Ignore the researches that say exercise will make you feel happier by releasing endorphins.

盡量忽略那些告訴你運動可以釋放內啡肽讓你快樂的研究。

No! This is the last thing you want.

不！這不是你想要的。

I'm telling you from experience.

我是把經驗告訴你們。

Depression is awesome.

憂鬱症太棒了。

There's no better feeling in the world than being miserable all the time.

世上沒有比每天悶悶不樂更好的感覺了。

But maybe you're a busy person.

但或許你是一個很忙的人。

You have to study, you have to work, and taking care of your body is something that would absolutely crush your soul, and kill your productivity.

你要讀書，你要工作，照顧身體只會壓垮你的靈魂，謀殺你的生產力。

You're right.

你沒有錯。

It's not like you can devote half an hour every day and think that this would be helpful.

又不是說你每天花一個半小時就有成效。

That's insane.

太瘋狂了。

Clearly, everyone who went running reported afterward that they felt less energized and less focused right?

很明顯地，每個人跑步回來都回報他們精力、專注力下降了，對吧？

Now despite all these convincing arguments, maybe you're like: "I still want to exercise, but I'm afraid that I might see some good results."

看到了這麼多有道理的論點，你或許在想：「我還是想運動，但我怕看到好成果」。

Well, I have good news for you.

我有個好消息告訴你。

If you worked hard and if you committed to a workout routine you definitely aren't seeing any results, ask people who exercised for six months.

如果你努力地跟著運動計劃走而沒有任何結果，問問看那些已經運動六個月的人。

They would all tell you that exercise is fake news.

他們會告訴你運動是假的。

So please avoid it at all costs.

所以無論如何請避免它。

And don't even get me started on entering the gym.

去健身房就更不用說了。

All 7 billion of us will be watching you, analyzing your weaknesses and judging your body.

全世界七十億人都在看著你，分析你的弱點和對你的身材指指點點。

We don't have our own lives, we're obsessed and waiting for you to mess up.

我們沒有自己的生活，我們都沈迷在等你搞砸。

I hope I've convinced you to never even think about exercising again.

我希望我有說服你再也不要運動了。

Take it from me, I used to be very healthy.

以我為例，我以前非常健康。

But as soon as I started working out, I became homeless and lost all my friends.

但當我開始運動後，我變得無家可歸，還失去了我所有的朋友。

Obviously, this whole video was a joke; the purpose is to make you think about the opposite of your goal.

很明顯地，這整支影片是個玩笑，它的目的是讓你對你的目標有相反的想法。

Reverse psychology, am I right?

逆反心理術，對吧。

And how much underrated exercise is.

還有人們多容易忽視運動。

We could talk all day about exercise benefits, and everybody knows that.

我們可以花一整天談論運動的好處，大家也都知道它們。

But I wanted to offer a different approach to illustrate how much you're missing out and how easy is it to get back on track.

但我想要藉由不一樣的方式說明你們錯過了多少和回歸正道多麼簡單。

No pill comes close to what exercise can do, and if there was one, it would likely be the most valuable pharmaceutical ever developed.

沒有任何藥物可以比上運動帶來的幫助，如果有的話，它一定是有史以來最珍貴的藥。

Share this video with someone who might need it.

跟需要的人分享這支影片。

And subscribe for more animations.

想看更多動畫的話記得訂閱。