There was the Cuban Missile Crisis, meddling in the 2016 elections, and on Twitter, they challenged Tom Cruise to an MMA fight, and nobody can figure out why.

古巴飛彈危機、干涉 2016年的大選，然後在 Twitter 上他們還向湯姆・克魯斯發出綜合格鬥的挑戰，沒有人知道這是為什麼。

And just when we thought Russia's antics couldn't get any crazier, a few days ago, they pulled this move on the high seas.

而就在我們認為俄羅斯古怪的行為已經非常瘋狂了之後，就在幾天前，他們在公海上作出了這樣的舉動。

We began this evening with a dangerously close call on the high seas between a Russian destroyer and a U.S. warship.

今天傍晚在公海上發生了非常驚險的事件，一艘俄羅斯驅逐艦與一艘美國軍艦距離過近。

Those ships coming within feet of one another, forcing the Americans to take drastic action to avoid a disastrous collision.

兩艘船之間的距離只有幾英尺，迫使美方採取激烈的措施以避免一場災難性的撞擊。

This image capturing just how close the ships came to a catastrophic collision.

這畫面捕捉到，兩艘船距離發生毀滅性的碰撞究竟有多近。

As little as 50 feet, according to the U.S. Navy.

根據美國海軍的報告，只有不到 50 英尺。

This video from the deck of the U.S.S. Chancellorsville showing the Russian destroyer was so close, you could see Russian sailors sunbathing on the deck.

根據這段從昌塞勒斯維號的甲板上拍攝的影片，我們可以看到俄羅斯的驅逐艦已經靠近到，你可以看見俄羅斯船員在甲板上曬日光浴。

Sweet lord.

我的老天。

Russians are hardcore.

俄羅斯人都是硬漢。

You realize these ships are about to crash into each other.

你知道，這些船就要撞上彼此了。

American soldiers are like, "Prepare for breach!"

美國士兵是「準備迎接撞擊！」

And the Russian soldiers are like, "Dmitri, take off your shirt."

俄羅斯士兵是「 Dmitri，把衣服脫掉。」

"Let's get suntan before we die, yeah.

「我們在死掉前來曬黑一點，耶。

Don't want to meet Jesus as pasty bitch."

我可不想一副死白人的樣子去見耶穌。」

But this is pretty crazy, man.

但這真的很瘋狂，老兄。

This is pretty crazy.

這真的很瘋狂。

A Russian warship basically tried to ram into an American ship in the middle of the ocean.

一艘俄羅斯軍艦試圖要在一片汪洋上衝撞美國的船隻。

All right, and let's be honest.

而且說實話。

That had to be on purpose.

那一定是故意的。

What other excuse is there?

還有什麼理由？

Do you know how big the ocean is?

你知道大海有多大嗎？

You have to really go out of your way to collide with someone.

你必須非常偏離自己的航道才能撞到別人。

It's like walking into someone at Ted Cruz's birthday party.

這就像走在 Ted Cruz (美國政治人物) 的生日派對上撞到人。

There's no one else there.

那裡根本沒人。

You did you it on purpose.

你就是故意的。

Now the question is, the question is, where would Russia get the balls to play chicken against America in the Pacific?

現在的問題是，問題是，俄羅斯從哪借來的膽敢在太平洋上跟美國作對？

Well, maybe it's because they've got a new and powerful BFF.

或許，是因為他們找到了一個新且強大的 BFF ( Best Friend Forever )。

Just as President Trump was meeting with America's most important allies in Europe, two of America's biggest adversaries were holding court in Moscow.

正當川普在歐洲與重要的盟友們見面的時候，美國兩個最大的敵人正在莫斯科相聚。

It was a split screen tailor-made by Russian president Vladimir Putin.

這是一場由俄羅斯總統弗拉基米爾・普丁精心設計、搶奪焦點的見面。

Putin hosted Chinese president Xi Jinping.

普丁款待了中國總統習近平。

Xi calling Putin his "best and bosom friend," saying he cherished their deep friendship.

習近平稱普丁為其「最知心的朋友」，並表示他十分珍惜他們深厚的友誼。

The two enjoying a leisurely boat ride in St. Petersburg yesterday.

昨日，兩人在聖彼得堡享受了一趟悠閒的航行。

That's right. Xi and Putin have gotten so close, they're even taking boat rides together.

沒錯。習近平和普丁非常地親近，他們甚至一起搭船。

And not just a normal boat ride.

而且不是普通的航行。

Putin even helped Xi recreate that scene from Titanic.

普丁甚至幫習近平重現《鐵達尼號》裡的那個場景。

He was like, "Yeah. I'm king of the world!

就像他在說「耶！我是世界之王！

No. really. China's taking over the world!"

不，我說真的。中國在正在佔領全世界！」

So it's clear, China and Russia are really hitting it off, because you only take a boat ride with someone if you really, really like them, or if they're enslaving you.

所以非常明顯地，中國與俄羅斯非常合得來，因為你只會跟你非常、非常喜歡的人一起搭船，或是奴役你的人。

But this is "liking."

但這個是「喜歡」。

Oh, and if... if you think Putin giving Xi a boat ride is impressive, wait until you see what Xi gave Putin in return.

喔，然後如果你覺得普丁帶習近平去坐船很了不起，你看看習近平回贈了什麼給普丁。

The leader's visit also includes some panda diplomacy.

中國領導人的訪問也包含了熊貓外交。

During their summit, Putin and Xi showed off their friendship with a visit to the Moscow Zoo, where they welcomed two new Chinese pandas, a gift from Xi to Russia.

在高峰會的期間，普丁和習近平藉由參觀莫斯科動物園來展現他們的友誼，因為那裡迎來了兩隻新的中國熊貓，一份來自習近平的禮物。

- I mean, China likes you, one of the signs of that, you know... - Alliance?

- 當中國喜歡你，其中一個象徵，你知道... - 盟友？

Good... good alliance and good feelings is to present you with a panda. Russia got two.

好... 好的盟友和好感的展現就是送你一隻熊貓。 俄羅斯得到兩隻。

That's right. China gave not one, but two pandas to Russia.

沒錯。中國給了不只一隻，而是兩隻熊貓給俄羅斯。

Which is huge.

這很重要。

Yeah. 'Cause one panda can't make babies.

對。因為一隻熊貓不能生寶寶。

Two pandas also can't, but there's hope.

兩隻熊貓也不一定能，但至少有希望。

And remember, China only gives pandas to countries when they wish to be close allies with them, right?

而且要記得，只有當中國想要與某些國家成為親密的盟友時，他們才會送出熊貓，對吧？

They actually call it "Panda Diplomacy."

他們甚至真的把這稱為「熊貓外交」。

This is a real thing. Panda Diplomacy.

這是真的。熊貓外交。

Not to be confused with Panda Express Diplomacy, where I convince them to let me use the bathroom even though I didn't buy anything.

不要跟熊貓快餐外交搞錯了，那是我試圖說服他們讓我不買東西就可以用廁所的餐廳。

And technically, this is interesting, technically, China didn't give Russia the pandas, right?

而且技術上來說，這很有趣，技術上來說中國並沒有把熊貓送給俄羅斯，對吧？

The Russians just get to keep the pandas for a few years.

俄羅斯只是能夠養著熊貓幾年。

Yes. Which, by the way, applies to every panda in the world.

對。而且，順便說一下，這適用於全世界所有的熊貓。

Yeah. China owns every single panda at the world.

對。中國擁有全世界的每一隻熊貓。

So at some point they have to go home.

所以到了某個時期，他們都要回家。

And I guess it's because China doesn't want the pandas forgetting their Chinese roots.

我猜這是因為中國不希望熊貓忘記牠們的中國根。

Imagine if you let a panda stay in New Jersey for too long, huh?

想想看如果你讓一隻熊貓在紐澤西待太久會怎樣？

Yeah. Then when the panda gets back to China, he's like, "'Ey, what the (bleep) is this bamboo? 'Ey!"

對。然後當熊貓回到中國的時候，牠會說「哎，這個竹子是 (消音) 小？ 哎！」

"How about some gabagool or a nice fettuccine? Marone!"

「來點 gabagool ( 一種火腿 ) 或是好吃的寬義大利麵吧？ 我的天！」

Anyway, I could talk about pandas all day, but the point is, China and Russia are getting super close, and the consequences for America go beyond boat rides and cute bears.

總之，我可以跟你討論一整天的熊貓，但重點是，中國和俄羅斯現在走得超級近，這對美國帶來的後果可不是只有搭船和可愛的熊這麼簡單。

While Russia and China continue to strengthen their economic ties, they're also expanding their military cooperation.

當俄羅斯和中國持續加強他們經濟關係的同時，他們也在擴張雙方的軍事合作。

Chinese troops taking part in massive drills with Russian forces last year.

中國軍隊去年參與了俄羅斯的大規模軍事演習。

The level of cooperation between Russia and China has not been this high since the mid-1950s.

俄羅斯與中國從 1950 年代中期之後就沒有過這麼高層級的合作。

They are combining forces against us.

他們在結合武力對抗我們。

They say Russia and China can coordinate cyberattacks and military moves that can knock U.S. forces off balance.

他們說俄羅斯與中國可以共同執行網路攻擊以及軍事行動，將美國軍隊打得落花流水。

Oh, man. China and Russia teaming up against the United States?

噢，天啊。中國和俄羅斯聯手對抗美國？

I mean, America could probably handle China... or Russia, but not both at the same time.

美國大概可以對付中國... 或是俄羅斯，但沒有辦法兩個同時。

Like, imagine if in Rocky IV, Ivan Drago was fighting, and then Jackie Chan jumped in the ring to help him.

想像一下如果在《洛基 4 (美國電影，主角為美國拳擊手) 》裡，Ivan Drago (俄羅斯拳擊手) 在搏鬥，然侯成龍突然跳上台幫他。

Huh? That would be the end of Rocky.

嗄？ 那會成為 Rocky 的末日。

It would be done. There'd be no Rocky V, no Rocky Balboa, no Rocky Goes to Space, no Rocky and the Sorcerer's Stone, and definitely no 50 Shades of Rocky.

全部都結束了。就不會有《洛基 5》，不會有《 Rocky Balboa 》，不會有《洛基上太空》，不會有《洛基：神秘的魔法石》，也絕對不會有《洛基的五十道陰影》。

None of those movies.

不會有這些電影。

Now, beyond geopolitics, the personal elements of this bromance is probably something that's gonna bug Donald Trump.

現在，除了地緣政治，這段兄弟情的私人因素可能是會讓川普更加煩心的問題。

Because, don't forget, he wants to be a part of this club.

因爲，別忘了，他想要成為這俱樂部的一員。

He loves those dudes.

他愛死那些傢伙了。

We know how much he admires Putin.

我們知道他有多崇拜普丁。

He talks all the time about he and Xi Jinping are great friends.

他老是在說他和習近平是超級好友。

So to see his two besties make plans without him, that's... that's got to hurt.

所以看到他的兩個閨蜜不帶他一起做計畫，這... 這一定很受傷。

Yeah. And I don't think that he's dealing with his feelings in the most mature way.

沒錯。而且我覺得他並沒有用很成熟的方式在處理他的情緒。

U.S. President Donald Trump is threatening new tariffs on another $300 billion in Chinese goods.

美國總統唐納・川普威脅要對中國商品再加徵 3000 億的新關稅。

This if President Xi Jinping doesn't meet with him at the upcoming G20 Summit.

如果習近平總統在接下來的 G20 高峰會不和他見面的話。

Wow. Really, Trump?

哇。真的嗎，川普？

He's gonna put tariffs on China if Xi doesn't "hang out" with him?

如果習近平不跟他「玩」，他就要對中國加徵關稅？

That is so childish.

這也太幼稚了。

If you don't come over to my house and play video games, then tariffs.

如果你不來我家跟我打電動，我就給你加稅。

And I get to be player one the whole time.

然後我可以一直當一號選手。

And what is it with Trump using tariffs in every legal situation?

而且川普在所有法律情況下都使用關稅是怎麼回事？

Have you guys noticed this? In every situation, Trump is using tariffs now, right?

你們有注意到嗎？在每一個場合，川普都在用關稅，對吧？

Illegal immigration. Tariffs on Mexico.

非法移民。墨西哥加關稅。

Xi Jinping won't have a playdate? Tariffs on China.

習近平不一起玩遊戲？中國加關稅。

Melania won't hold his hand in public. Tariffs on Slovakia!

梅蘭妮亞不願意在公開場合牽她的手？斯洛伐克加關稅！

But, Donald, I am from Slovenia.

但是，唐納，我是斯洛維尼亞人。

I don't care! Pronounce it any way, still tariffs.

我不在乎！隨你要怎麼唸，加關稅。

So look, it's clear what's happening here.

所以看吧，我們很清楚現在是什麼狀況。

President Trump.

川普總統。

You're feeling neglected by President Xi.

你覺得被習近平總統忽視了。

But instead of lashing out, why don't you work on your relationship, man?

但是除了發火，你為何不試著改善你們的關係呢，兄弟？

You know? Forget tariffs. Maybe talk to Xi.

你懂嗎？ 不要理關稅了。 試著跟習近平聊聊。

Tell him how you're feeling.

告訴他你的感受。

And if that doesn't work, try and spice things up, you know?

如果這行不通，試試添加一點趣味性，你懂嗎？

Yeah. Dress up as something you know China's really into.

沒錯。 打扮成一種你知道中國非常喜歡的東西。

Yeah.

沒錯。

Who could resist?

誰有辦法抗拒？