- Ahoy news mates!

Welcome to the News Cruise!

Or here's some more news about us, Some More News.

It's been a whole year since we last addressed

the self-perpetuated hero complex that is QAnon,

otherwise known as the rare Reversed Ouroboros,

an ever-growing serpent that vomits its own testes.

So, happy anniversary, you guys, what did you get me?

Oh, the original video has been removed

due to a copyright strike, okay.

Well, in that case, here's a sweet gift for you called,

Oh Dear God We Have To Revisit QAnon?

Can't The Sun Explode Instead?

Why can't it be both?

So, just to recap, QAnon is a far-right conspiracy theory

that Donald Trump, a President somehow,

is quietly fighting a secret plot by the deep state

to harbor a probably-satanic ring

of underground child sex traffickers

consisting of high-level politicians and Hollywood elites

who all conveniently are politically opposed

to Donald Trump specifically.

Their only evidence of this,

besides countless Twitter photos covered in red circles,

is a series of anonymous posts on 4chan,

an anonymous forum with a long history of credibility,

by someone calling themselves Q,

and claiming to be working within the Government.

From this, what some would describe as flimsy foundation

grew a depressingly large structure of memes

and social media hearsay, doing their best to wrap tendrils

around any available straw in the hopes of preventing

the shoddy theory from toppling down.

And thanks to a little mainstream support,

those (beep) tendrils grew thick,

somehow keeping the whole worthless husk

rolling like a dead owl in a concrete mixer.

(transition music)

In other words, it's a collection of Trump supporters

who know, in their deepest of cores,

that our President lied about draining the swamp,

and is in fact, bad at his job and very corrupt.

But have managed to shield their egos from embarrassment

by jumping on an elaborate explanation

that conveniently justifies their support

in the face of an obvious scam from an obvious conman.

And when you mix this with actual news stories

of sex trafficking and high-profile sexual predators,

they can easily merge their wild theory with reality

and declare it a victory.

Specifically, the case of Jeffrey Epstein

and the depressing invigoration it gave QAnon

despite being overwhelmingly incriminating

for the President hero they claim

is Neoing the entire world.

We're certainly going to get to that,

and how the morning we filmed this,

Epstein was found dead in his cell

after failing to kill himself weeks before.

But for the sake of this initial recap,

just imagine building an elaborate narrative of conspiracies

to justify why it was okay that you gave $1,000

to an email scammer.

That's basically what QAnon is.

And the denial itself has turned into

its own cottage industry, with various grifters

selling Q-themed products to the easily dupable masses.

Like how great for scam artists that all their best marks

have agreed to congregate in one place?

And we know they're just insatiable marks

because of all the times this dingus horde

has been hilariously wrong about their Q-themed predictions.

Instead of detailing every single one,

we'll just put a list on the screen of all the dates

that QAnon said there was going to be mass arrests,

or some kind of exposure of Trump's enemies

in the deep state, or just anything happening at all.

Only to have nothing happen, at all.

Like sometimes Q will literally just post

that something, anything, will occur on a certain date,

and somehow still be wrong.

Other times it'll post extremely specific things,

like Mark Zuckerberg stepping down from Facebook,

and will be extremely, specifically wrong.

It really doesn't matter what kind of wrong QAnon will be,

because it's every kind of wrong every time.

Constantly wrong, all the time.

(upbeat dramatic music)

And while it has lost some true believers because of that,

it amazingly has yet to stop existing.

Because like any good scam, there's a built-in justification

for why it's so clearly a scam

that saves the people getting scammed

from admitting that they're scammed.

And that is the motto Trust The Plan,

seen here on a snazzy long sleeve T, which basically means

that despite Q having failed to predict anything, ever,

it's all a part of an elaborate plan that we must trust.

So to recap, QAnon, the belief

that Donald Trump's incompetence

is all a part of an elaborate game of 7D chess,

believes that Q's own incompetence

is also part of an elaborate game of 7D chess.

Because this is definitely what rational people think.

Rational people like Bill Mitchell,

who explained away the QAnon (beep) show by tweeting

"If they are ever inaccurate it is because plans change."

See, that, that's all.

It's not that QAnon is just blindly ass-pulling

these predictions of Trump's imminent strike

on a secret cabal of pedophiles and satanists,

or that Trump is just an obvious buffoon

who is way too old and racist and can't even spell words

and seems to attract sex criminals

and is openly one himself,

but rather that Trump just keeps pushing the date

as part of his elaborate plan that's ever changing.

- Whenever President Trump does something

that you can't understand or I can't understand,

I always try to give it a few days,

because his actions don't always make sense at first

but if you give it a few days and look into it

and do some research, it always makes sense in the end,

this man's brilliance.

The plan has been in place for 20 years.

- I mean sure, prosecution of sex trafficking

has gone significantly down since he became President

and it was his own Labor Secretary,

you know, the guy that gave sex trafficker

Jeff Epstein an extremely good deal back in 2007

resulting in only 13 months of jail time

for sex trafficking.

Anyway, it was that guy who plans to cut funds

for combating trafficking by 80%.

All of that, but you gotta trust the plan

that changes 10 to 20 to 50 times

before things will happen, you know?

Trump, seen here eye (beep) women at a 1992 party

with Jeffrey Epstein the child sex trafficker,

is just waiting for the right time to strike.

Hey, let's watch for a second.

Let's watch Donald Trump totally playing 7D chess

back in 1992 by groping women at a party

that he had with Jeffrey Epstein, the child sex trafficker.

(upbeat music)

It sure seems like our President is a sex criminal,

but whatever, let's just keep having him as our President.

Or maybe, this is all part of his 20-year long plan

to catch these pedophiles.

- The mainstream media never would have covered

Jeffrey Epstein's arrest, if they couldn't align him

with President Trump.

And having Alex Acosta,

who has been aligned with Jeffrey Epstein

and it looks like covered up for Jeffrey Epstein,

that enabled the mainstream media to attack Trump

due to Jeffrey Epstein's arrest

and that forced the mainstream media

to cover Jeffrey Epstein's arrest.

- You see, Trump got involved with Epstein back in 1992

because he knew that 30 years later

when he became President,

the media would try to attack him

by connecting him to Epstein, thus taking Epstein down

and exposing the child prostitution ring

that Trump was absolutely not involved in himself

but knew about, but also let happen for 30 years.

And in fact, documents reveal

that some of the underage girls

were recruited by Epstein at Mar-a-Lago,

Donald Trump's favorite place that he owns.

And then, this just in on the morning we filmed this,

Jeffrey Epstein after being put on suicide watch

was taken off suicide watch and is now dead

by allegedly, suicide, making it way more difficult

for his victims to achieve any sort of justice

or for the many wealthy elite child (beep)

that were involved with Epstein, to face justice.

It's so brilliant that it,

that it's not.

Anyway, this is the level of denial we are dealing with,

which is probably why Q supporters

can eat pounds of blatant (beep)

and somehow not vomit it back up.

Like did you hear that JFK Jr. is not only alive

and living under the fake name Vincent Fusca,

but going to reveal himself on Trump's July 4th event?

But if you need all them deets,

here's a nearly two hour video

with over 130,000 views explaining it.

There are also several tutorials teaching people

how to make JFK Jr. masks for the event,

which if you are keeping up with the news,

didn't feature the return of JFK Jr..

But that's okay,

trust the plan, guys.

Wail on that Subscribe button.

Also buy these shirts about how JFK Jr. faked his death,

and is the Jason Bourne of Q.

They make great gifts for your grandkids,

you isolated and vulnerable person you.

And be sure to check out Adam Sandler's new film

"Murder Mystery", which heavily features the letter Q

monogrammed on pillows and is therefore connected

and hiding QAnon clues in plain sight.

It certainly couldn't be that these scenes take place

at the home of a wealthy character named Quince .

Here's my point, QAnon is obviously a sad grift

aimed at the most susceptible Trump supporters out there.

We don't need to spend all day digging through the theories

and explaining how very clearly wrong they all are.

What I'd rather focus on are the people enabling

and profiting from them.

The ones using the Q hogwash to either make a quick buck

or gain favor with this fringe conservative group.

Because the idea that this is just a harmless collection

of dupes isn't true.

It's easy to laugh at them.

But there are real, disturbing consequences

as this chunk of Americans drift further and further away

from reality and into cult status.

When the leather jackets over at Vice

looked into personal stories of relationships

with QAnon believers, as well as joined

the various QAnon Facebook groups,

they found the majority of stories

either involved lonely boomers

complaining about their families

or people clearly suffering from mental illness or PTSD.

When QAnon believers show up in the news

it's usually due to some sad crime,

like this guy who killed his brother

because he thought he was a lizard man,

or that mob boss murderer drawing Q symbols in court

and claiming that he killed specifically for Trump.

I know that's all anecdotal evidence, but at this point,

it's really hard to imagine a rational person

being able to ride the Q train

considering that it's so far off the rails

it's now hurtling through outer space.

When James Comey used the #FiveJobsIveHad hashtag

in one of his tweets,

Q supporters took the first letters of his list, G, V, C,

S, F, and decided that it was a hidden acronym

for no reason before matching it to the only Google result,

the Grass Valley Charter School Foundation,

and then promptly causing so much conspiracy hype

around their next event that it had to be canceled.