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  • Summer is right around the corner.

    夏天就快要來了。

  • A lot of people have been talking about new diets to try.

    很多人都在討論可以嘗試的新節食方法。

  • Everybody starts dieting when it gets close to summer.

    一接近夏天大家就開始節食。

  • Like panicking.

    整個很緊張。

  • Like we don't think about all winter long.

    我們整個冬天都不會去想。

  • It's OK that we just put fat on to hibernate, somehow.

    好像可以直接囤積脂肪冬眠。

  • And then summertime comes and we're like, we've gotta lose weight all of a sudden.

    然後夏天來了,我們就突然覺得要減肥。

  • Who here has been on... tried a diet recently?

    有誰最近嘗試過節食?

  • OK.

    好。

  • Who started one this morning and gave up just a little while ago?

    有誰今天早上開始然後就在剛才已經放棄了?

  • I went to the doctor to get a sonogram.

    我去找醫生照超音波。

  • I'm not pregnant, I just like to take a look once in a while to see what's going on in there.

    我沒有懷孕,我只是偶爾想看看裡面發生了哪些事。

  • And while I was waiting in the room, I saw a copy of a Vogue from 1977.

    當我在候診室等待時,我看到了一本 1977 年的 Vogue 雜誌。

  • They really don't change magazines that often.

    他們真的不常換雜誌。

  • And it had a diet in there.

    然後裡面有一個節食方法。

  • This is from 1977.

    這是 1977 年的事。

  • "How to Lose Five Pounds in Three Days"

    「如何在 3 天內減掉 5 磅(2.27 公斤) 」

  • Here it is.

    在這裡。

  • It's called the Wine and Eggs Diet.

    它叫做「酒和蛋節食法」。

  • Also known as the Real Housewives' shopping list.

    又稱為比佛利嬌妻的購物清單。

  • So, for breakfast it's... you have one hard boiled egg, one glass of white wine, preferably Chablis, and black coffee.

    早餐你要吃一顆水煮蛋、喝一杯白酒,最好是夏布利酒,還有一杯黑咖啡。

  • Obviously you want to drink Chablis for breakfast.

    早餐當然要喝夏布利酒。

  • If you drink Cabernet, it means you got a problem.

    如果你喝卡本內紅酒,代表你有問題。

  • Only white wine in the morning.

    早上只能喝白酒。

  • For lunch, you have two eggs, two glasses of white wine, and black coffee.

    午餐你要吃兩個蛋、喝兩杯白酒,還有黑咖啡。

  • So then you'll be wide awake to get fired for being drunk at the office.

    這樣你就可以清醒著經歷因為在辦公室喝醉而被炒魷魚的事。

  • And if you're still standing by dinner, you have steak, the remainder of the wine, and more black coffee.

    如果你晚上還站得穩的話,就要吃牛排、喝剩下的白酒還有更多黑咖啡。

  • The reason you lose so much weight so fast is that you have to get rid of your liver.

    你會在這麼短的時間內瘦這麼多,是因為你得除掉你的肝。

  • You have to...

    你必須...

  • That was 1977.

    這是 1977 年的事。

  • Obviously things have changed.

    當然時代改變了。

  • We do not have crazy diets like that anymore.

    我們沒有像那樣瘋狂的節食方法了。

  • Oh, what's that?

    噢?你說什麼?

  • We do.

    我們有的。

  • I found a couple of other diets in Cosmo magazine.

    我在 Cosmo 雜誌上找到了其他的節食方法。

  • These are real bad.

    這些很糟糕。

  • Here's one it's called Clip-Your-Nose-While-You-Eat Diet.

    有一個叫做「吃飯時夾住鼻子節食法」。

  • Apparently, if you plug your nose while you eat, you'll get full faster.

    據說,如果你夾住鼻子吃飯,你會飽得比較快。

  • If you clip your mouth, it works even better actually.

    如果你夾住嘴巴,其實會更有效果。

  • If that's not your style, there's the Vision Diet.

    如果這不是你的風格,還有「視覺節食法」。

  • So, you eat everything while wearing blue tinted glasses.

    吃東西的時候,都要戴著藍色玻璃眼鏡。

  • Cause they say it makes the food look less appealing.

    因為他們說這樣食物看起來會比較不好吃。

  • Guess what?

    你猜怎樣?

  • It's still appealing to me.

    我還是覺得看起來很好吃。

  • Blue French fries.

    藍色薯條。

  • I don't mind.

    我不介意。

  • I'll eat blue cheese pizza.

    我也會吃藍色的起司披薩。

  • I'll eat anything, if I want it.

    只要我想吃,我什麼都吃。

  • But the truth is, we come in all shapes and sizes.

    但事實上是,我們每個人都有不一樣的身材。

  • And the most important thing is for us... just be kind to yourself, and be kind to others, and drive a nice car.

    最重要的是,要對自己好一點、對其他人好一點,然後開部好車。

Summer is right around the corner.

夏天就快要來了。

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