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  • 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000 It's April.

  • Can you believe it's April?

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • 00:00:04,810 --> 00:00:05,859 Spring break is here.

  • People are going crazy.

  • They're drunk-dancing on tables, getting piercings in places

  • that only a doctor should see.

  • If you're getting a piercing where you can only see it

  • with a handheld mirror, I think that you're drinking too much,

  • I think.

  • People usually come back from spring break with two things--

  • a sunburn and a hangover.

  • And I think I know why.

  • Because the swimsuits are getting smaller and the drinks

  • are getting bigger.

  • The way drinking has evolved is crazy.

  • I want to show you what has happened.

  • In the beginning, people drank out of this, out of a goblet.

  • And you would drink one glass of wine.

  • And then you'd get a little buzzed and a little dizzy,

  • but not from alcohol, from the lead poisoning, really.

  • These would sometimes lead to wet corset contests.

  • 00:00:55,710 --> 00:00:56,210 [APPLAUSE]

  • I-- I almost didn't do it.

  • I didn't think it was good.

  • I did it anyway.

  • All right.

  • Then they invented this.

  • This is a shot glass.

  • And it was so you could get all the alcohol without any

  • of that annoying juice.

  • And I like it because it's efficient.

  • And it does the job of a regular-sized drink

  • but in half the time.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • 00:01:20,100 --> 00:01:20,850 Now I'm buzzed.

  • All right.

  • And from there, things got completely out of control.

  • This-- you know, I thought this was a joke this morning

  • when I saw it.

  • But apparently it's not a joke.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:37,060 How many people have seen this before?

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:44,340 I don't know where y'all go, but I don't have--

  • it's called a fishbowl cocktail.

  • And you know the old saying, drink like a fish?

  • Now you literally can drink like a fish.

  • This has vodka, rum, tequila, pineapple juice, coconut juice,

  • lemon.

  • It's a mix of everything except good decisions.

  • All right.

  • Then someone invented this.

  • And it's called a beer tower.

  • And this is great if you want to throw

  • a bachelor party for your friend and a going away party

  • for your liver.

  • And I know what you're thinking.

  • That's nice, but I don't drink beer.

  • Well-- [LAUGHS] oh, god--

  • then there's this.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • So this is a--

  • 00:02:37,916 --> 00:02:39,430 this is a yardstick.

  • It has a strap.

  • And you can walk around and show everyone your drinking problem.

  • You can just--

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:48,580 All right.

  • Then, finally, if you need more alcohol, this is a Bongzilla.

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • 00:03:05,180 --> 00:03:07,850 Nothing good has ever come after the sentence, want to try

  • my Bongzilla?

  • All right.

  • I'm going to show you how this works.

  • I don't drink beer.

  • So I'm going to pour my favorite tequila--

  • Casa Dragones tequila.

  • There it is.

  • And so what happens?

  • 00:03:21,250 --> 00:03:23,225 How much-- does that whole bottle fit in there?

  • Mhm.

  • (SARCASTICALLY) Uh-huh.

  • 00:03:28,850 --> 00:03:30,453 All right.

  • And then-- Zenor, I don't want to do it.

  • You do it.

  • OK.

  • 00:03:36,660 --> 00:03:37,160 Wow!

  • [APPLAUSE]

  • 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:48,010 It's amazing.

00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000 It's April.

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B1 中級 美國腔

艾倫帶你看看喝酒的歷史。 (Ellen Takes a Look at the History of Drinking)

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    zzzz33560 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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