Well, this isn't live.

呃，這不是現場的。

This show is not... but you know what I mean.

這個節目不是... 你們懂的。

The nice thing about this show not being live is that if we need to, we can edit stuff out.

這個節目不是現場的的好處就是，如果需要的話，我們可以把東西剪掉。

Like, for instance, if an interview goes too long, or something breaks, or my top falls off.

像是，比如說，當訪談出問題、有東西壞了或我的衣服掉了。

It's happened before.

有發生過。

We can edit that out.

我們可以把它剪掉。

But there's one place that lots goes wrong.

但有個地方常會發生錯誤。

And that is live TV and especially the news.

那就是現場直播節目，特別是新聞。

This is a live broadcast at the San Diego Yacht and Boat Show, where things got off to a not-so-great start.

這個現場直播的聖地牙哥遊艇秀有個很不好的開場。

The San Diego Yacht and Boat Show.

聖地牙哥遊艇秀播報。

Good morning, everybody.

大家早安。

I'm hanging out with my friend, John.

在這裡的是我的朋友， John 。

Fox 5 morning news starts.

Fox 5 早晨新聞開始。

Look over there.

看那邊。

And it starts right now!

現在開始！

They panned out, expecting it to go way up.

他們把鏡頭拉遠，期望它會往上飛。

The future is here, and it's grim.

未來到了，結果很令人擔憂。

Jetpacks aren't the only thing reporters try live on TV.

噴氣背包不是新聞記者唯一在現場秀嘗試的東西。

This is supposed to be how you learn how to cross-country ski.

這原本是越野滑雪的教學。

Hi, you guys.

嗨，大家好。

So I'm here with Richard and Katie from the Utah Nordic Alliance of Utah.

我現在和猶他州和猶他 Nordic 聯盟的 Richard 跟 Katie 在這裡。

And you guys are teaching me how to cross-country ski.

然後你們要教我怎麼越野滑雪。

So give us some bas...

先教我們一些基...

I know that fall.

我知道那種跌倒。

That's either altitude or too much tequila.

不是海拔高度太高就是喝太多龍舌蘭。

I've seen that before.

這我有看過。

Sometimes reporters are around animals, and they definitely don't care that it's live TV.

有時候播報員在動物附近，而動物們絕對不會管它是不是現場節目。

The judging is complete so come on out and meet the winners.

評分結果出來了，所以過來見見冠軍吧！

The goats will be here through Saturday.

這些山羊整個星期六都會在這裡。

And they're very friendly.

然後他們非常友善。

From the Manatee County Fair, Linda Carson, ABC 7.

Linda Carson 帕爾梅托露天展場播報， ABC 7 。

Would you not eat my pants?

你可以不要吃我的褲子嗎？

Ah!

啊！

The goat got her go.

山羊要她走。

This next one comes from a reporter who really just wanted to be left alone.

下一個播報員真的很希望不要有東西來煩她。

Two, three.

2 、 3 。

Ah!

啊！

Okay.

好。

Okay, ooo.

好的，哇嗚！

Here, okay, one.

來，好的， 1 。

Sporting activity start... I gotta stop flicking them.

運動環節開始... 我要停止揮開它們。

Okay, no, not doing this.

好的，不，我不做了。

Y'all acted like it was on you.

你們看起來像那些蟲在你們身上似的。

All right, so this reporter put themselves in harm's way for the good of the story sometimes.

好的，所以有時候播報員會為了好故事而置身於危險之中。

All right, so I've got my trusty stopwatch.

好的，所以我這裡帶著很可信賴的碼錶。

And here they come down the hill.

他們從山上下來了。

It looks like Ruben is in the lead.

看起來 Ruben 領先。

And here comes El.

El 也來了。

That was a bad idea.

真是個壞主意。

He did a whole front flip.

他做了一整個前翻。

That's pretty impressive.

非常令人欽佩。

Finally, I'm not sure where or when this took place, but I know that it was not supposed to happen.

最後，我不確定這是什麼時候、或是在哪裡發生的，不過我知道它不應該發生。

... instead of a place and a point for them to raise that, was it a done deal by the time Trevor Manuel...

... 而不是一個地點或是一個時間點提出，當 Trevor Manuel 那時是否確定...

It's actually an opportunity for members of Parliament to actually digest and go through the documentation that is going to be presented to the public.

事實上，它是議會成員消化這些要公開的資訊的機會。

And the opportunity for proper engagement is actually after the taping of the...

然後適當的接觸機會其實是在錄製之後才...

He heard that first crack.

他有聽到了第一個聲響。

And he just looked over, like, that's going to happen, isn't it?

然後他就看過去，像是，有事要發生了，對吧？

Oh, god.

噢，天啊。

If you didn't notice, the title of that person is chairperson.

如果你沒有發現的話，那個人的頭銜是「主席」。

He's more of a floor person now.

現在他沒有「席」了，比較像「地板人」。

Thank you.

謝謝。

So the takeaway is don't go on live TV if there are jetpacks, goats, bugs, or chairs nearby, because all of them will betray you.

所以重點就是如果附近有噴氣背包、山羊、蟲子或是椅子的話，不要上那個現場節目，因為它們都會背叛你。