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  • You know this is?

    你知道這是誰嗎?

  • This is you about five minutes.

    這是五分鐘後的你。

  • Because you're gonna speak English better than a native!

    因為五分鐘過後,你的英文會說得比母語人士好!

  • The average English person is terrible at grammar, spelling and you know . . . being social.

    一般英文母語人士的文法和拼字以及 . . . 社交,都糟透了。

  • For example: If you hear any native English speaker say the word "pronOUnciation" instead of saying it "pronunciation", punch them in the facehard.

    舉例來說:如果你聽到英文母語人士說「pronOUnciation」而不是「pronunciation」,請狠狠揍他們一拳。

  • True story:

    以下為真實故事:

  • I used to work for someone who would send emails to very high-profile clients in other companies.

    我以前的主管要負責寄 email 給客戶,這些客戶都來自高知名度的企業。

  • She was a native English speaker.

    她的母語是英文喔!

  • And her grammar and spelling were so, so bad.

    但她的文法和拼字真的非常、非常糟。

  • A five-year-old could have done better.

    一個五歲小孩程度都比她好。

  • So today you're going to learn the very common mistakes that native English speakers make.

    所以今天你會學到英文母語人士最常犯的幾個錯誤有哪些。

  • Of course there are the annoying ones: they're, their, there; your, you're.

    當然,有些字很惱人,像是:they're、their、there;your 和 you're。

  • Yes, okay sometimes I have made that mistake.

    的確,我有時候也會犯這種錯誤。

  • It can be a brain fart and generally we know that those are wrong.

    可能因為一個恍神,通常我們都知道自己是錯的。

  • But these next five examples of mistakes that native English speakers make, make us sound so annoyingly stupid.

    但接下來要講的五個英文母語人士常犯的錯誤,讓我們聽起來簡直笨得可以。

  • It makes me want to poke my eyes out.

    讓我想把自己的眼睛挖出來。

  • First some pronunciation, again it's not pronOUnciation.

    首先是一些發音的錯誤,我再說一次,不是「pronOUnciation」。

  • That deserves a punch in the face.

    這講錯真的該被揍一拳。

  • But how about this: Ask your native English-speaking friends how do you pronounce that letter.

    但這個呢:去問你的英文母語朋友,怎麼唸這個字母。

  • I guarantee you a large percentage of them will say: "haitch".

    我可以保證,絕大部分的人都會唸成「haitch」。

  • It's not "haitch", no! It's "aitch".

    但它並不唸作「haitch」,是「aitch」。

  • Punch in the face!

    揍他一拳!

  • For all you Italians, this will annoy you:

    義大利的朋友,接下來這點可能會惹怒你們。

  • How do we say espresso?

    我們都怎麼唸「espresso」呢?

  • We change the S for an X. "EXpresso."

    我們會把第二個字母「S」改成「X」。「EXpresso」。

  • Punch in the face!

    揍一拳啦!

  • And I especially get annoyed at "eXpecially".

    另外當別人把「especially」唸成「eXpecially」時,我會特別惱怒。

  • Where are these X's coming from?

    這些 X 到底是從哪冒出來的啊?

  • It's equally awful and definitely deserves a punch in the face and defriending from Facebook forever.

    犯這些錯真的很糟糕,這絕對要給他一拳外加永遠解除 Facebook 好友關係。

  • This you will see more in text and written things but if you listen carefully sometimes you can hear it.

    接下來要講的可能比較常在文字或書寫中看到,但如果你仔細聽的話可能也會在口語中聽到。

  • What am I talking about? This.

    我指的是什麼呢?這個。

  • "So Steve didn't come to the party."

    (「Steve 沒有來這個派對欸。」)

  • "Yeah, but he would of."

    (「對啊,但他應該要來的。」)

  • "Sorry, he . . . ?"

    (「你說他 . . .?」)

  • "If he could of, he would of."

    (「如果他可以,他應該會來。」)

  • "Would of!"

    「would of」!

  • "Could of!"

    「could of」!

  • "Would of", "could of" and "should of".

    「would of」、「could of」和 「should of」。

  • These aren't things. Stop.

    不能這樣講的,拜託改掉。

  • Why do British people do this?

    為什麼英國人要這麼說?

  • You have to think of the contraction.

    這跟英文中的縮寫有關。

  • "Would have", "would've". Would've, would've.

    「would have」的縮寫為「would've」。Would've、would've。

  • Say it enough times.

    一直重複唸。

  • Would've, would of . . . would of . . . would of?

    Would've、would of . . . would of . . . would of?

  • Is it "would of"?

    是唸作「would of」嗎?

  • No!

    不!

  • I guarantee you, search on Twitter the term "would of".

    我向你保證,在 Twitter 上面搜尋「would of」。

  • You will find millions of examples of people using this incorrectly.

    你會找到一堆大家的錯誤使用例子。

  • It's nuts!

    太扯了!

  • So just remember, it's not "would of", it's "would have", "should have", "could have".

    所以你只要記得,並不是「would of」,是「would have」、「should have」、「could have」。

  • Also, native English speakers always get the third conditional wrong.

    另外,英文母語人士總是用錯第三條件句。

  • In third conditionals, wishes or ifs about a past situation;

    第三條件句是假設或是與過去事實相反的語氣。

  • You have to remember the order.

    你一定要記得它的文法結構。

  • "If"+"had" with "verb three", right?

    「If」加上「had」加上「過去分詞」,對吧?

  • Or "I wish"+"had"+"verb three".

    或是「I wish」加上「had」加上「過去分詞」。

  • Or "if only"+"had"+"verb three".

    或「if only」加上「had」加上「過去分詞」。

  • The hypothetical result of that includes "would have", "could have", sure!

    沒錯,假設語氣的結果會包含「would have」和「could have」。

  • But not with the "if" clause.

    但這在條件子句中並不成立。

  • Oh, what's that?

    喔?你說什麼?

  • Trump isn't very good at grammar?

    你說川普的文法不太好?

  • Shocking!

    不意外呀!

  • "If I would have relied on fake news of CNN . . ."

    「如果我依賴 CNN 的假新聞 . . .」

  • So what did he want to say?

    所以他到底想表達什麼?

  • He wanted to say:

    他想說的是:

  • If I "had" relied on . . .

    「如果我『當初』依賴 . . .」

  • Blah blah blah . . . bullshit.

    巴拉巴拉巴拉一堆廢話。

  • But he's . . . an idiot.

    但 . . . 他是個智障啊!

  • Much more commonly, you will hear this in conversation and see it in text conversation.

    你會很常在日常對話和訊息中聽到或看到這種錯誤。

  • "If I would have known!" or "I wish I would have known!".

    「If I would have known!」或是「I wish I would have known!」。

  • You can correct your friends now!

    你現在可以去糾正你的朋友們了!

  • You know that this isn't the right way.

    你知道這樣講是錯的。

  • What way should it be?

    應該怎麼說?

  • "If I had known!" or "I wish I had known!"

    「If I had known!」或「I wish I had known!」。

  • The next one is:

    接下來是:

  • "Me and him went to the pub."

    (「我和他去了酒吧。」)

  • Subject pronouns. Yeah.

    對,代名詞主格。

  • It's not "me and him", it's "he and I".

    並不是「me and him」,應該是「he and I」。

  • Remember we're using subject pronouns.

    記得我們用的是代名詞的主格。

  • You wouldn't, for example, say "Me went to the pub."

    舉個例子,你並不會說「Me went to the pub.」吧?

  • No! You'd say "I went to the pub."

    不會呀!你會說「I went to the pub.」。

  • "I did a thing", not "Me did a thing".

    你會說「I did a thing」,而不是「Me did a thing」。

  • And it's the done thing to let the other person go first in the sentence.

    而且讓自己以外的人排在句子前面是禮貌。

  • So "Me and him" . . . "He and I".

    所以不是「Me and him」,應該說「He and I」。

  • And finally.

    最後一點。

  • "I was talking to this one girl. She sent me some textses."

    (「我之前在跟這女生聊天,她傳了很多簡訊給我。」)

  • . . . Textses.

    . . . Textses。

  • Why would you pluralise something that's already plural!

    已經是複數的字幹嘛再加上複數呢!

  • Texts!

    是「Texts」!

  • If anyone says that, you know what to do!

    如果再聽到有人講錯,你應該知道要怎麼做了吧!

  • Hard!

    給他重重的一拳!

  • And if you ever see your friends on social media making any of these mistakes, you can be that really super popular friend and correct their grammar.

    而你如果在社交媒體上看到你的朋友們犯這些錯,你就去當那個受歡迎的、會糾正朋友文法的人。

  • Everyone loves that person.

    大家都愛這種人。

  • Are there any I've missed?

    我還有漏掉什麼嗎?

  • What mistakes have you noticed that British or native English speakers make?

    你是否曾發現英國人或英文母語人士犯的英文錯誤?

  • Let me know in the comments and I'll see you in the next class!

    歡迎在留言區跟我分享,我們下一堂課見!

You know this is?

你知道這是誰嗎?

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