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  • Season 5

  • Epic Rap Battles Of History

  • George R. R. Martin

  • VERSUS

  • J. R. R. Tolkien

  • BEGIN!

  • Brace yourself

  • gather up your trolls

  • and your soldier elves

  • and your ents and your orcs

  • and your wargs and your Stings

  • your dwarves and Glamdrings

  • cause there's a new literary Lord in the Ring

  • my readers fall in love

  • with every character I've written

  • then I kill 'em

  • and they're like "no he didn't"

  • all your bad guys die

  • and your good guys survive

  • we can teel what's gonna happen

  • by page and age five

  • tell your all seeing eye

  • to find some sex in your movies

  • ditch the Goonie

  • and cast a couple boobies

  • there's edgier plots in that

  • David the Gnome

  • your hobbit hole heroes

  • can't handle my throne

  • Kings

  • Queens

  • dragons

  • dragons

  • horses, fortresses, magic and swords

  • you Hob-bit my whole shit

  • you uninspired hack

  • you want a war George?

  • welcome to Shire-raq

  • in book sales you've go nothing to sav

  • I'm number one and two

  • you're under Fifty Shades of Grey

  • I got the prose of a pro

  • your shit's subpar

  • you're a pirate

  • you even stole my R.R.

  • we all know the world is full

  • of chance and anarchy

  • so yes it's true to life

  • for characters to die randomly

  • but news flash

  • the genre's called fantasy

  • it's meant to be unrealistic

  • you myopic manatee

  • I conscientiously object

  • to what you're doing on these beats

  • I'll cut you like my teeth

  • on Beauty and the Beast

  • you went too deep

  • Professor tweed pants

  • we don't need the back story

  • on every fucking tree branch

  • I cut my teeth in the trenches of the Somme

  • you LARPed your Santa Claus ass

  • through Vietnam

  • and it's hard for me to take

  • criticism on clothes

  • from a dude who sends a raven

  • to say hi to his toes

  • Man your fat jokes

  • are worse that your pipe smoke

  • my show's the hottest thing on HBO!

  • I'm rock and roll, you're a

  • nerdy little nebbish

  • and I may be dirty

  • but you got a hairy foot fetish dog

  • even the names of your characters suck

  • you got Boffers and Bofurs

  • and Brandybucks

  • I got a second breakfast

  • for all them goofy fucks

  • lift up my gut

  • and tea Baggins my nuts

  • C.S. Lewis and I were just discussing

  • how you and Jon snow

  • both know nothing!

  • because the backstory of my

  • box office is billions

  • got my children making millions

  • off my Silmarillions

  • and I'm more rock and roll

  • than you've ever been

  • don't believe me?

  • ask Led Zeppelin!

  • you can't reach this fellow

  • shit, I'm too Towering

  • every time I battle

  • it's return of the King!!!

  • WHO WON?

  • WHO NEXT?

  • YOU DECIDE!

  • Epic Rap Battles Of History

  • //Ich hab mein bestes versucht, allerdings ist es teilweise sehr schwierig, eine gute Übersetzung zu finden, die sich auch für Untertitel eignet.

  • //Verbesserungsvorschläge sind gerne gesehen! :-)

  • //Untertitel von: Chrintario

Season 5

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J.R. R. Tolkien vs George R. R. Martin.歷史上的史詩性說唱戰役 (J. R. R. Tolkien vs George R. R. Martin. Epic Rap Battles of History)

  • 15 1
    Mark Yu 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
影片單字