I know how people who do like driving

我知道很多人喜歡開車，但那關我屁事

but I'm not one of them.

另一方面，住在南加州不開車，就跟走路沒有腳差不多

On the other hand

可是我還是討厭開車

living in Southern California without a car

我是那種開車很緊繃的人

is like living without legs

我肩膀會因為緊繃而酸痛

but I hate driving still

尤其是開超過15分鐘更酸

I'm the kind of person who gets really intense while I drive

人們總是跟我說你開久了就習慣了啦

My shoulders will get all sore

可是他們全都是大騙子

after driving anywhere that takes me longer than 15 minutes

好多年都過去了，我仍然是開車大遜咖

People used to tell me

00:00:35,860 --> 00:00:38,500 不過別小看我，我從來沒出過車禍喔

"You'll get used to it someday."

如果你不把我撞倒鄰居家的垃圾桶算進去的話

But they lied

而且我撞了他好多次，

1, 2, 3, and many years have passed

應該有七八次吧

It never happened

不要跟他說喔!

I'm still the same old horrible driver

然後又有一次我開車開道人行道上

I never got into any real accident

還有一次開到安全島

ahh, besides the time I hit my neighbor's trash can

不過這都不算車禍吧

I actually hit it multiple time.

然後阿又有一次我再一個很小的路上不小心開車壓到一個人的腳

5, 6, or even 7 maybe

他看起來很痛苦的樣子，所以我就說我要載他去醫院

just don't tell anyone

可是他強忍著痛苦說，不....不用了!

Then there's this one time

我感覺到他內心很害怕上我的車

I drove myself onto the sidewalk,

00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:16,215 畢竟忍痛活下去

plus the time on to the middle traffic island as well

總是比座上我這個惡魔司機的車好吧

There's this other time I ran over someone's feet

可是這些都不算真正的車禍啦

on a very narrow street

所以我還是覺得我是一個好司機

He looked painful so I offered him a ride to the hospital

然後某年某月的某一天我開始在家工作變成SOHO族了

But he said it was okay

從那時候開始我就很少開車

I'm guessing probably because he...

而且我都盡量走路或騎腳踏車

was too scared to be my car

所以你可以知道我有多痛恨開車

At the end of the day,

然後我又發現UBER這個好東西

staying in pain is still way better than

還有LYFT(台灣沒有)

sitting a car with a driver like me

他們沒有贊助我喔

But these aren't real car accidents

不過他們真的比我以前搭的計程車便宜多了啦

So I guess everything turned out alright

然後阿

and it comes the time when I first started working from home

如果可以向Tinder一樣和配對選擇自己喜歡的司機就好了!

I didn't really drive as often anymore,

你說對不對

and I tried to bike or walk whenever it's possible

因為太少開車所以每次要開的時候

and by that, you could tell how much I hated driving

電池先生就死掉了

and I also discovered something wonderful call uber, and lyft too

所以我就乾脆把車賣了

I'm not sponsored by I hope them

那又是另一個故事了

but they actually don't cost as much as I thought they would

然後從此我就再也沒有開過車了

It'll be nice if you get to match with the drivers

除了去日本的那一次

like how tinder works though

然後路上的大家開車都開錯邊.... 呃....

So once a very long while

我是說他們都開在左邊。 開車的朋友開得好害怕。

I tried to drive my car

他害怕的原因

the battery was dead

是因為他左轉的時候都會差點轉到逆向道

So I sold my car eventually

我就想說應該要讓我來開

which is a whole other story

因為對我來說都沒差啊!

And I never really drove again after that

反正我在美國開車也常常開到逆向去啊

Besides the time of traveled to Japan

所以還不是都一樣，不用在那邊鬼叫

and everyone was driving on the wrong...

真是少見多怪

ahhh, I meant left side of the road

小知識，如果你去日本觀光開車

my friend who drove us got so scared

他們會給你一個外國人開車的貼紙，可以貼在車車後面

he was scared because he almost turned into the opposite lane

所以在日本開車阿....

while making a left turn

不用擔心啦! 反正大家都知道我開車很危險齁

and I was like, maybe I should drive

可是我最後還是沒有開哈哈哈

because it doesn't really make any difference for me

因為我還不太想撞死有禮貌的日本路人們

I turn into the opposite land several times

好啦我故事就到這邊結束了喔

even when I was driving the states. So yeah..

希望你有喜歡

It's basically the same thing for me

喔然後還有一件事情

fun fact

我要跟常常開車載我的人說聲謝謝

they actually give you one of those foreigner driving stickers

小明，小花，小王，小布萊登

to put on the back of your car

還有好多好多欸

If you're going to be driving in Japan

(片尾曲?)

so I wouldn't be too worried

(記得訂閱、按讚、開鈴噹噹喔!)

because people know I'm dangerous

00:03:27,705 --> 00:03:30,285

But I didn't really drive still

00:03:30,845 --> 00:03:33,875

because I don't want to kill my friends

00:03:33,875 --> 00:03:36,975

nor the nice and polite Japanese pedestrians

00:03:36,975 --> 00:03:37,975

(some Japanese terms about being polite?)

00:03:38,475 --> 00:03:41,975

And that's the end of my story

00:03:42,075 --> 00:03:45,125

I hope you enjoyed it

00:03:45,125 --> 00:03:48,355

Also, I want to give thanks to my friends

00:03:48,985 --> 00:03:52,425

who drove me around all the time

00:03:52,515 --> 00:03:55,555

(Names...)

00:03:55,555 --> 00:03:58,765

and the list goes on and on and on and on

00:03:58,765 --> 00:03:59,835

Hello

00:04:00,265 --> 00:04:01,945

When did you go? I don't remember making plans

00:04:03,005 --> 00:04:04,395

Hey, this is our first video. We worked really hard on it

00:04:05,735 --> 00:04:06,735

So I hope you'll enjoy it

00:04:07,195 --> 00:04:08,195

I think this would be a good chance

00:04:09,405 --> 00:04:10,675

if you want to be my first few subscribers

since I don't really have any yet

I didn't really know what I was doing a lot of times

but we did it anyway

I'm pretty sure that the next one is gonna be better

because it can't be worse

So please turn on the notification button (the bell thingy)

so we'll be able to see each other again

I thought I can't animate

but this was a lot harder than I thought

Hey leave a comment and let me know

what do you think?

Okay. Bye

(the end)