and western releases of Pokémon, meaning I've got months of stewing in spoilers and

finally breaking down and importing a copy before everyone else gets on the same page.

This time... none of that. A global worldwide release means I can hunker down in my new-game

bomb shelter with a case of vanilla Coke, a couple pizzas, and the knowledge that for

the first time since the internet became a "thing" I can slam face through a Pokémon

game and be SURPRISED. Something I'd never seen before might show up and I've gotta solve

it through context clues and picking apart its design. And then... I encounter a freakin'

Pidgey. The same Pidgey I've been catching since '98.

Pokémon X and Y represent the sixth generation of the famously bifurcated series, with another

hundred or so cute creatures to obtain and train, trade and... I can't think of a rhyme.

I don't think there's a man, woman or child on the face of the earth who doesn't grok

the basic mechanics: random battles, RPG-style character progression, beating down and subjugating

monsters you encounter in the wild using balls that fly in the face of nearly every physical

law. That much we're set with. The question is: What separates this generation from the

five that came before it? Aside from the rampant Frenchness. Seriously, I tried playing this

game with an episode of Wakfu in the background and nearly sprained something.

Behold, Lumiose City, the biggest freakin' town in Pokémon history. It's got three separate

regions you can Fly to, 43 shops, cafes, and other explorable buildings (including three

Pokémon Centers) and the freakin' Eiffel Tower or a reasonable facsimile thereof. On

the one hand, it's obvious that the series is trying to go bigger and larger with every

iteration, now offering breathtaking views of landmarks and castles where you can go

and have your picture taken like a good tourist, but on the other... well, the game's camera

just hates you. And it's a Pokémon game, which means that really doesn't matter as

much as in, y'know, anything with any action, but I've experienced some of the stupidest

angles imaginable in the history of the series. Because what you really need to be seeing

as you head into a new town is a hard close-up of your own character, running forward with

no indication of what's in front of him. But hey, at least you can change your clothes.

Because your average Pokémon fan is a very chic and trendy individual, there is certain

content that's out-of-bounds unless you're dressed stylishly enough. And don't get me

wrong, I like the fact that you can switch out your gear for a purely cosmetic change

of pace, but using it to lock content is just a way of delaying it until you get to the

endgame and money doesn't really matter. That is, of course, unless you're really into that

sort of thing to the detriment of your dream of catching 'em all. Which might not be your

dream in the first place, come to think of it. Black and White introduced us to the concept

of having two contemporaries alongside whom you take your first steps into the world;

X and Y doubles that. Now you've got your serious rival, another girl who's mostly in

it for the cute things, a nerdy kid who measures his self-worth in terms of Pokedex completion,

and a dude who wants nothing more than to DANCE. Really covering all the playstyles,

there.

Which brings us to Mega Evolution. By equipping a rather obviously-named stone - like Lucarionite,

Gengarite, or Blastoisinite - to the appropriate Pokémon, they can undergo a Mega Evolution

and grow more spikes and get a stat boost, ability change, and/or entirely new typing.

On the one hand, it provides a new and interesting strategic element, as well as a new lease

on life for some of the more obscure monsters like Mawile and Absol. And then they get kinda

abusive with Mega Garchomp - like he needed a boost - and two different flavors of Mega

Mewtwo. You can only Mega-Evolve one Pokémon per battle, and the evolution stays even if

that Pokémon switches out... and I was going to say "So don't be afraid to use U-turn"

until I did some research and found that there aren't any Mega Pokémon that can learn U-turn.

And, as usual, you thwart the machinations of a very fashion-forward doomsday cult hellbent

on destroying the world, while realizing your dream of being the best like no one ever was,

just like all the rest of 'em. The story certainly feels a bit weaker than the 5th generation's

tale of the Plight of N; I thought that we were making progress here. Oh well. Geez,

I've managed to blow through... um... this amount of time... without even touching on

the new type, or the new training methods available, or any of a number of innovations

designed to help you connect to your fellow trainers around the world... So I'm just gonna

cut it here and pick up in the second part of the review, same Zubat time, same Zubat

channel.