Name: 我為什麼離開 (Why I Left)
Uploaded: 2021-01-14T08:08:31.000Z
Duration: 11 min 12 s
Description: 【看影片學英語】數萬部 YouTube 影片，搭配英漢字典即點即查，輕鬆掌握單字發音與用法，長久累積看電影不必再看字幕。

過去簡單式

When you were a child, who did you want to be?

to 不定詞

She didn't wear a cape, or shoot lasers out of her eyes.

She was someone who wore a smile and made people more beautiful.

I remember telling her clients how I wanted to be just like her when I grow up.

"You'll be poor if you become like me," she'd tell me.

"Become successful, like a doctor, then you can make money and be happy."

When you're a child you don't really understand the concept of money.

From an early age my ambitions were driven by the expectations of others.

And being the people pleaser that I was, I'd spend the rest of my youth chasing after my

When I was old enough to help my mother out at the salon, it was then when I realized

how she did more than making people look beautiful.

But I knew behind that mask she was hurt.

Every other night my parents would fight and it was always over money.

I wanted my family to be happy, so I grew up determined on one day becoming successful.

Senior year of high school, while filling out university applications, an epiphany hit me.

If I pursue my studies in medicine, I'd be spending the rest of my life fulfilling someone

My intuition led me to fill out an application for art school instead.

I felt so selfish, but I had to confess to my mother.

She was heartbroken and scared that as an artist I'd struggle to make ends meet like her.

But I promised her that I'd find a way to take care of our family while still pursuing

She trusted in me and gave me her blessing.

The first day of art school was special because all new students were given laptops.

This became my window to the world, a vital tool for all my creative needs.

But soon enough, reality would remind me how my dreams came at a cost and I needed to make money.

I found a job listing for a beauty advisor position.

I completed the interview but got rejected.

But then I was reminded how God, the universe, whatever higher power you believe in, has

Yes, Not Yet, or I Have Something Better.

God was right because that 'Something Better' happened to be the very first beauty video I created.

I was sharing my everyday natural beauty routine.

But after checking back, I couldn't believe all the viewers and comments pouring in.

That one video changed the course of my journey.

No one was really making videos for money.

But once it was possible for creators to monetize their videos, I was able to leave my part-time

job and turn this little hobby into a thriving career.

And after saving up enough money, my family was taken care of first.

Creating these videos didn't feel like work.

It felt more like a dream and I didn't want to wake up.

My growing channel caught the eyes of higher-ups who grew intrigued.

It wouldn't be for long until I'd be swept away by opportunities and promises.

I said my goodbyes and left my family's nest to pursue the American Dream in the 'Wild West.'

It was hard to leave my family because they were all I ever knew, but my intuition told

Moving to a new city by yourself can feel isolating.

And in the city of dreams I found myself surrounded by people who heavily influenced my career.

They had big plans and kept me busy until that was all I ever knew... busy.

The taste of success was like a drug and I couldn't get enough.

I figured, the more productive I am, the more successful I'll become

I grew to understand how happiness came at a cost because I had to honor what I signed

I was able to retire my mother and take care of my family like I promised.

I still had more dreams to cross off my list.

Once I was a girl with dreams who eventually became a product... smiling, selling, and selling.

Who I was on camera and who I was in real life began to feel like strangers.

Money can bring out the worst in people and I was no exception.

I became imprisoned by my own vanity and was never satisfied with how I looked.

The life I led online was picture perfect

but in reality I was carefully curating the

But all dreams come to an end and I'd have to wake up to face the harsh truth.

The road to success is not only paved with failures, but you also become a target.

I had to battle through several lawsuits from people who wanted a piece of it.

It nearly broke me down, but I wasn't ready to give up.

So I kept myself busy, taking on more projects and more work.

"Become more successful and one day you'll be happy again."

Staying busy was my only way I was able to cope with all the stress and anxiety.

Years would go by and I find myself becoming more isolated and disconnected from my family,

I didn't know what to do or who to talk to.

I felt so alone and I had too much pride to let you see me at my weakest.

I felt so depressed and I didn't know why.

I wanted to be forgotten so I began posting less online.

During one of my sleepless nights I found myself watching one of my earlier videos.

I'd forgotten how genuine and full of life I once was.

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我為什麼離開 (Why I Left)

anxiety

eventually

recognize

matter