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  • Translator: Ellen Maloney

    譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: 易帆 余

  • So sometimes I get angry,

    有時,我會生氣,

  • and it took me many years to be able to say just those words.

    為了說出這幾個字 花了我好多年的時間。

  • In my work,

    在我工作時,

  • sometimes my body thrums, I'm so enraged.

    我的身體有時會顫抖,我會很憤怒。

  • But no matter how justified my anger has been,

    但無論我的怒火有多正當的理由,

  • throughout my life,

    在我的一生中,

  • I've always been led to understand that my anger is an exaggeration,

    我一直被教育,我的怒火是一種誇大、

  • a misrepresentation,

    刻意的扭曲,

  • that it will make me rude and unlikable.

    認為這怒火會讓我顯得無禮且不討喜。

  • Mainly as a girl, I learned, as a girl, that anger is an emotion

    主要是身為女孩,我了解到身為女孩,憤怒是一種情緒,

  • better left entirely unvoiced.

    最好不要表現出來。

  • Think about my mother for a minute.

    來講個跟我媽有關的故事。

  • When I was 15, I came home from school one day,

    我十五歲時,有一天我放學回家,

  • and she was standing on a long veranda outside of our kitchen,

    她站在我們廚房外的長廊上,

  • holding a giant stack of plates.

    拿了一大疊的盤子。

  • Imagine how dumbfounded I was when she started to throw them like Frisbees...

    想像當她把盤子當飛盤般扔向我時,我有多目瞪口呆……

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • into the hot, humid air.

    扔向又熱又濕的空氣中。

  • When every single plate had shattered into thousands of pieces

    在所有的盤子碎成數千片

  • on the hill below,

    掉落到下頭的斜坡上後,

  • she walked back in and she said to me, cheerfully, "How was your day?"

    她走回屋內,開心地對我說: 「你今天過得如何?」

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Now you can see how a child would look at an incident like this

    各位應該可以理解孩子在面對這樣的事件之後,

  • and think that anger is silent, isolating, destructive, even frightening.

    會以為憤怒是沉默的、孤立的、 摧毀性的,甚至是可怕的。

  • Especially though when the person who's angry is a girl or a woman.

    特別是當憤怒的人是一位女孩或女人的時候。

  • The question is why.

    問題是,為什麼?

  • Anger is a human emotion, neither good nor bad.

    憤怒是一種人類情緒,沒有好壞。

  • It is actually a signal emotion.

    它其實是一種信號情緒。

  • It warns us of indignity, threat, insult and harm.

    憤怒是一種情緒, 屈辱、威脅、侮辱和傷害發出警告。

  • And yet, in culture after culture, anger is reserved as the moral property

    然而,在各個文化的認知當中,

  • of boys and men.

    憤怒這品格特質 被保留給男孩和男人。

  • Now, to be sure, there are differences.

    但無可否認,是有差別的。

  • So in the United States, for example,

    比如,在美國,

  • an angry black man is viewed as a criminal,

    憤怒的黑人會被視為罪犯,

  • but an angry white man has civic virtue.

    但憤怒的白人卻被認為有公德心。

  • Regardless of where we are, however, the emotion is gendered.

    然而,不論在哪個地方,這種情緒都有性別差異。

  • And so we teach children to disdain anger in girls and women,

    所以,我們會去教導孩子鄙視女孩和女人的憤怒,

  • and we grow up to be adults that penalize it.

    長大後還要懲罰憤怒的女性。

  • So what if we didn't do that?

    如果我們沒這麼做,會怎樣?

  • What if we didn't sever anger from femininity?

    如果我們不把憤怒和女性氣質分開來談,會怎樣?

  • Because severing anger from femininity means we sever girls and women

    因為切斷女性氣質的憤怒

  • from the emotion that best protects us from injustice.

    意味著女性面對不公不義時

  • What if instead we thought about developing emotional competence

    最能保護她們的情緒也被切斷了。

  • for boys and girls?

    倘若我們轉而思考

  • The fact is we still remarkably socialize children

    直接培養男孩和女孩 處理情緒的能力呢?

  • in very binary and oppositional ways.

    事實上,我們的社會還是會用二分法

  • Boys are held to absurd, rigid norms of masculinity --

    或非常對立的方式 將男女生分別看待。也就是,男孩要遵守荒唐又死板的男子氣概標準—

  • told to renounce the feminine emotionality of sadness or fear

    告訴他們不能夠有女性特有的悲傷或害怕的特質,

  • and to embrace aggression and anger as markers of real manhood.

    且直接面對侵略和憤怒才是真男人的表現。

  • On the other hand, girls learn to be deferential,

    另一方面,女孩則要學會三從四德,

  • and anger is incompatible with deference.

    且憤怒與遵從是不相容的。

  • In the same way that we learned to cross our legs and tame our hair,

    同樣地,我們女生得學會兩腿併好,把頭髮梳順,

  • we learned to bite our tongues and swallow our pride.

    我們得學會忍著不說出自己的感覺,把自尊往肚裡吞。

  • What happens too often is that for all of us,

    於是大部份人遇到一種情況:

  • indignity becomes imminent in our notions of femininity.

    女性觀念使得侮辱變得迫在眉睫。

  • There's a long personal and political tale to that bifurcation.

    此個人觀感與政治都不正確的二分法是長久以來存在的謊言。

  • In anger, we go from being spoiled princesses and hormonal teens,

    一旦發怒就會被扣上這些帽子:犯公主病、荷爾蒙作怪的青少年,

  • to high maintenance women and shrill, ugly nags.

    或難以伺候、愛尖叫 又醜又嘮叨的女人。

  • We have flavors, though; pick your flavor.

    我們有不同的口味;隨你挑。

  • Are you a spicy hot Latina when you're mad?

    當你生氣時,你是火辣的拉丁美洲女郎嗎?

  • Or a sad Asian girl? An angry black woman? Or a crazy white one?

    還是悲傷的亞洲女孩?憤怒的黑人女性?抓狂的白種女人?

  • You can pick.

    隨你挑選。

  • But in fact, the effect is that when we say what's important to us,

    但,事實上,效應就是當我們說出對我們重要的事,

  • which is what anger is conveying,

    表達我們的憤怒時,

  • people are more likely to get angry at us for being angry.

    大家比較有可能會對我們的憤怒而感到生氣。

  • Whether we're at home or in school or at work or in a political arena,

    不論我們在家、在學校、在工作,或在政治舞台,

  • anger confirms masculinity, and it confounds femininity.

    憤怒是男子氣概的表現,這會混淆我們對女性特質的定義。

  • So men are rewarded for displaying it,

    所以,男人展現憤怒會被獎賞,

  • and women are penalized for doing the same.

    換成女人,則會被懲罰。

  • This puts us at an enormous disadvantage,

    這讓我們處在非常大的劣勢,

  • particularly when we have to defend ourselves and our own interests.

    特別是當我們得要保護自己或守護自身利益時。

  • If we're faced with a threatening street harasser, predatory employer,

    如果我們面臨有威脅性的街頭騷擾者、掠奪型的僱主、

  • a sexist, racist classmate,

    性別歧視、種族歧視的同學,

  • our brains are screaming, "Are you kidding me?"

    實際上我們的大腦是在尖叫:「你在耍我嗎?」

  • And our mouths say, "I'm sorry, what?"

    但我們的嘴巴卻只能說:「我很抱歉,怎麼了?」

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Right?

    對吧?

  • And it's conflicting because the anger gets all tangled up

    這很矛盾,因為憤怒和焦慮、

  • with the anxiety and the fear and the risk and retaliation.

    恐懼、風險、報復都糾纏在一起。

  • If you ask women what they fear the most in response to their anger,

    如果問女人,她們最怕別人在她們憤怒時做出什麼樣的反應,

  • they don't say violence.

    她們不會回答是暴力。

  • They say mockery.

    她們會說是嘲笑。

  • Think about what that means.

    想想看那是什麼意思。

  • If you have multiple marginalized identities, it's not just mockery.

    如果你有多種被邊緣化的身份,受到的就不僅僅是嘲弄。

  • If you defend yourself, if you put a stake in the ground,

    如果你為自己辯護,

  • there can be dire consequences.

    如果你勇敢站出來為自己發聲,

  • Now we reproduce these patterns not in big, bold and blunt ways,

    如今,我們不會大辣辣地讓這些事一再發生,

  • but in the everyday banality of life.

    但卻不知不覺地,每天在我們的日常生活中一直出現。

  • When my daughter was in preschool, every single morning

    前陣子,我女兒去上幼稚園,每天早上,

  • she built an elaborate castle -- ribbons and blocks --

    她都會建造一座精緻的城堡—絲帶和積木—

  • and every single morning the same boy knocked it down gleefully.

    每天早上,同一個男孩都會興高采烈地把它撞倒。

  • His parents were there, but they never intervened before the fact.

    他的父母也在場,卻不會在事發前干預。

  • They were happy to provide platitudes afterwards:

    他們總是在事後 很開心的說些陳腔濫調:

  • "Boys will be boys."

    「男孩就是這樣子的。」

  • "It's so tempting, he just couldn't help himself."

    「這太誘人了,他無法控制自己。」

  • I did what many girls and women learn to do.

    我所做的事,是許多女孩和女人學會做的事。

  • I preemptively kept the peace,

    我會提前表示和平,

  • and I taught my daughter to do the same thing.

    我會教我的女兒也要這麼做。

  • She used her words.

    她用她的言語。

  • She tried to gently body block him.

    她試圖溫和地用身體阻擋他。

  • She moved where she was building in the classroom, to no effect.

    她移動了她在教室中建城堡的地點,但沒有用。

  • So I and the other adults mutually constructed a particular male entitlement.

    所以其實,我和其他成人是在建造一種男性專有的權利。

  • He could run rampant and control the environment,

    讓他可以很猖獗並且控制環境,

  • and she kept her feelings to herself and worked around his needs.

    而她要把自已的感覺藏在心裡,避開,不影響他的需求。

  • We failed both of them by not giving her anger the uptake

    我們辜負了他們兩人,因為我們沒有理解她的憤怒,

  • and resolution that it deserved.

    她的憤怒應當獲得解決,但卻沒有。

  • Now that's a microcosm of a much bigger problem.

    這只是一個更大問題的縮影。

  • Because culturally, worldwide,

    因為,全世界的文化

  • we preference the performance of masculinity

    都偏愛男子氣慨的表現—

  • and the power and privilege that come with that performance

    賦予這類表現權力及特權—

  • over the rights and needs and words of children and women.

    相對不那麼重視孩子和女人的 權利、需求、語言。

  • So it will come as absolutely no surprise, probably, to the people in this room

    所以在座各位應該不意外 如果將來有報告指出:

  • that women report being angrier in more sustained ways and with more intensity

    女人的憤怒比男人更久,

  • than men do.

    強度也更高。

  • Some of that comes from the fact that we're socialized to ruminate,

    部分原因是我們被社會化,會反覆思考,

  • to keep it to ourselves and mull it over.

    把憤怒藏在心底。

  • But we also have to find socially palatable ways

    但我們得必須找到 社會可接受的方法,

  • to express the intensity of emotion that we have

    來表達我們的強烈不滿,

  • and the awareness that it brings of our precarity.

    並意識到這些會帶來衝突。

  • So we do several things.

    所以,我們會有幾種做法。

  • If men knew how often women were filled with white hot rage when we cried,

    如果男人知道,我們女人哭泣時, 心中充滿怒火的頻率,

  • they would be staggered.

    他們會嚇到。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • We use minimizing language.

    我們會裝沒事的說 :

  • "We're frustrated. No, really, it's OK."

    「我們很難過。但其實沒關係。」

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • We self-objectify and lose the ability

    我們會自我合理化, 甚至失去了一種能力,

  • to even recognize the physiological changes that indicate anger.

    一種無法發現到自己憤怒時的 生理變化的能力。

  • Mainly, though, we get sick.

    我們大部分會生病。

  • Anger has now been implicated in a whole array of illnesses

    如今,憤怒與一大堆疾病有關,

  • that are casually dismissed as "women's illnesses."

    這些疾病也無端端地 被視為「婦女疾病」。

  • Higher rates of chronic pain, autoimmune disorders, disordered eating,

    頻繁的慢性疼痛、自我免疫失調、不正常進食、

  • mental distress, anxiety, self harm, depression.

    心理痛苦、 焦慮、自我傷害、憂鬱。

  • Anger affects our immune systems, our cardiovascular systems.

    憤怒會影響我們的 免疫系統、心肺系統。

  • Some studies even indicate that it affects mortality rates,

    有些研究還指出, 憤怒會影響死亡率,

  • particularly in black women with cancer.

    特別是得癌症的黑人女性。

  • I am sick and tired of the women I know being sick and tired.

    認識的女人生病、疲憊—我受夠了。

  • Our anger brings great discomfort,

    我們的憤怒帶來極大的不適,

  • and the conflict comes because it's our role to bring comfort.

    而衝突就在於 我們要扮演安慰人的角色。

  • There is anger that's acceptable.

    有些憤怒可被接受。

  • We can be angry when we stay in our lanes and buttress the status quo.

    我們謹守分際時生氣可被接受。

  • As mothers or teachers,

    身為母親或老師可以生氣,

  • we can be mad, but we can't be angry about the tremendous costs of nurturing.

    但不能因勞心勞力養育生命而憤怒。

  • We can be angry at our mothers.

    我們可以氣我們的母親。

  • Let's say, as teenagerspatriarchal rules and regulations

    比如,青少年時—爸媽訂的規則和規定—

  • we don't blame systems, we blame them.

    我們不怪罪體制,但怪罪他們。

  • We can be angry at other women, because who doesn't love a good catfight?

    我們可以對別的女人生氣,因為那些人特別愛勾心鬥角。

  • And we can be angry at men with lower status in an expressive hierarchy

    我們能對那些社會階層低

  • that supports racism or xenophobia.

    支持種族歧視和仇外的男性生氣。

  • But we have an enormous power in this.

    但我們有很強大的力量。

  • Because feelings are the purview of our authority,

    因為感覺舒不舒服是主觀的,

  • and people are uncomfortable with our anger.

    人們對我們憤怒感到不快。

  • We should be making people comfortable with the discomfort they feel

    我們要讓「聽到女人說不」會感到不快的那些人適應他們的不快,

  • when women say no, unapologetically.

    我們用不著覺得過意不去。

  • We can take emotions and think in terms of competence and not gender.

    我們可以用能力而非性別來看待情緒與思考。

  • People who are able to process their anger and make meaning from it

    能夠處理自己的憤怒, 並讓它有意義的人,

  • are more creative, more optimistic,

    是比較有創意、比較樂觀的人,

  • they have more intimacy,

    他們比較親密,

  • they're better problem solvers,

    比較會解決問題,

  • they have greater political efficacy.

    他們有比較好的政治效力。

  • Now I am a woman writing about women and feelings,

    我是女人,我寫的主題是女人和感覺,

  • so very few men with power

    所以,很少有權力的男人

  • are going to take what I'm saying seriously, as a matter of politics.

    會認真看待我說的話,並把它視為一個政治議題。

  • We think of politics and anger in terms of the contempt and disdain and fury

    我們會用輕視、鄙棄、暴怒的角度來看待政治和憤怒,

  • that are feeding a rise of macho-fascism in the world.

    這會讓大男人法西斯主義在世界上興起。

  • But if it's that poison, it's also the antidote.

    但,如果它是毒藥,它也會是解藥。

  • We have an anger of hope, and we see it every single day

    我們對憤怒有所期望,我們每天都會看到

  • in the resistant anger of women and marginalized people.

    女人以及被邊緣化者不停地憤怒。

  • It's related to compassion and empathy and love,

    這和同情心、同理心以及愛有關係。

  • and we should recognize that anger as well.

    我們也應該要認知到這種憤怒。

  • The issue is that societies that don't respect women's anger don't respect women.

    問題在於:不尊重女人憤怒的社會就不尊重女人。

  • The real danger of our anger isn't that it will break bonds or plates.

    我們的憤怒最危險之處不在於打壞關係或盤子,

  • It's that it exactly shows how seriously we take ourselves,

    而在於我們有多認真對待自己,

  • and we expect other people to take us seriously as well.

    和期望別人多認真對待我們。

  • When that happens, chances are very good

    如果能實現這一點,很有可能,

  • that women will be able to smile when they want to.

    女人就能在她們想要微笑的時候微笑了。

  • (Applause)

    (掌聲)

  • Thank you.

    謝謝你們。

  • (Applause) (Cheers)

    (掌聲)(歡呼聲)

Translator: Ellen Maloney

譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: 易帆 余

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B2 中高級 中文 美國腔 TED 憤怒 女人 女性 女孩 生氣

【TED】索拉雅奇梅利: 女人憤怒的力量 (The power of women's anger | Soraya Chemaly)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2019 年 02 月 28 日
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