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  • If you guys wouldn't mind, I just like to write out my weekly Thank You Notes right now.

    如果你們不介意的話,我想現在來寫我這禮拜的感謝卡。

  • Is that cool with you guys?

    你們覺得可以嗎?

  • You guys are the best.

    你們最棒了。

  • You guys are much better than Thursday's audience.

    你們比星期四的觀眾好多了。

  • James, can I get some Thank You Note-writing music, please?

    詹姆士,可以給我一點寫感謝卡的配樂嗎?

  • He wore that on Thursday.

    他星期四也穿這樣。

  • We wore the same outfit on Thursday.

    他跟星期四穿同一套衣服。

  • Why would he wear the same outfit on Thursday?

    為什麼他要和星期四穿同一套衣服呢?

  • Is he on a budget?

    他有預算是不是?

  • A little Easter egg for you.

    給你們的小彩蛋。

  • Thank you, Omarosa, for claiming that President Trump drinks at least eight cans of Diet Coke a day, which raises the question, just how many is Rudy Giuliani drinking?

    謝謝妳,特朗普前助理奧馬羅薩,宣稱川普一天至少喝八罐健怡可樂,讓大家好奇,Rudy Giuliani 一天喝多少呢?

  • Thank you, champagne corks.

    香檳軟木塞,謝謝你。

  • For letting me kick off every celebration by risking the lives of everyone around me.

    讓我每一次慶祝的開始都先冒著大家的生命危險。

  • My eye!

    我的眼睛!

  • Thank you, Pillsbury Doughboy, for being the only time I trust a guy with my food who is totally nude from the neck down.

    Pillsbury 的麵團男孩,謝謝你,這是我第一次願意相信一個脖子以下全裸的男孩來處理我的食物。

  • Poke it, go ahead, poke it.

    戳吧,快點,戳吧!

  • Why is your voice so deep?

    為什麼你聲音那麼低?

  • Poke me.

    戳我。

  • What?

    什麼?

  • Poke me.

    戳我。

  • Stop saying it like that.

    不要這樣講話。

  • Just poke me!

    戳我嘛!

  • Stop saying it like that!

    不要這樣講話!

  • Got buns in my oven.

    我的肚子裡有麵團。

  • I didn't even poke you.

    我根本沒戳你。

  • Thank you, traffic circles.

    謝謝你,環狀交叉路口。

  • I'm going to be honest, I have no clue how you work, so I'm just going to keep driving and hope for the best.

    我得老實說,我完全不知道你是怎麼運作的,所以我只能一直開然後希望不要出事。

  • It's like, I don't know.

    我真的不知道。

  • Don't hit me, don't hit me, don't hit me, don't hit me, don't hit me, don't hit me.

    別撞我、別撞我、別撞我、別撞我、別撞我...

  • Thank you, bug spray, for sort of keeping bugs away and definitely keeping humans away, because I smell like a chemical explosion.

    防蟲噴霧,謝謝你,大概有讓昆蟲遠離我,更讓人類遠離我,因為我聞起來想是化學大爆炸。

  • Thank you, people who shop for gifts at the airport.

    謝謝你們,在機場買禮物的人們。

  • It's nice to know you thought of me somewhere between the TSA line and Chili's 2.

    知道你在機場安檢門到飛機門這段時間有想到我真的是很棒。

  • Thank you, phone chargers, for being available in two lengths, 6 inches too short or 40 feet too long.

    手機充電線,謝謝你,你唯二有的長度,不是 15 公分太短就是 12 公尺太長。

  • It's like, come on.

    拜託。

  • Coffee table! Come on, figure it out, folks.

    咖啡桌啊!拜託,想想看嘛,各位。

  • Is that's the last one?

    那是最後一個嗎。

  • What's that?

    什麼?

  • Is that the last Thank You Note?

    那是最後一張感謝卡嗎?

  • That is the last for tonight, yeah.

    這是今天最後一張,對呀。

  • It's the last.

    是最後一張。

  • That's the last one for tonight, all right.

    那是今晚最後一張,好吧。

  • I just wanted to know, wanted to make sure.

    我只是想知道、想確認一下。

  • Didn't want to rush you.

    沒有要催你。

  • Yeah, don't rush me, I appreciate it.

    對,不要催我,感激你。

  • No, I wanted to make sure you had plenty of time.

    不會,我只是想確定你有足夠的時間。

  • Just so you'd enjoy yourself.

    這樣你才會享受在其中。

  • So you want me to enjoy myself?

    你想要我享受在其中?

  • I just wanted to make sure that you, you know, 'cause they're emotional.

    我只是想確認,你知道的,他們很感性。

  • They're from you.

    因為是你寫的啊。

  • Guys, this is the final Thank You Note.

    大家,這是今天最後一張感謝卡。

  • The final Thank You Note.

    最後一張感謝卡。

  • The final Thank You Note.

    最後一張感謝卡。

  • I will write it here.

    我會在這寫。

  • I'll lick it there.

    我會在這舔。

  • I'll send it anywhere.

    我會寄去任何地方。

  • Because I care.

    因為我很在乎。

  • Just kidding.

    開玩笑的。

  • I still care.

    我還在乎。

  • Whoa, whoa, whoa.

    嗚喔,嗚喔,嗚喔。

  • Still care.

    還是在乎。

  • Whoo!

    呼!

  • Thank you, accidentally trying to twist open a bottle that isn't twist-off.

    不小心試著轉開一個不是可以轉開的瓶蓋,謝謝你。

  • It's okay, I didn't need that finger-skin anyway.

    沒關係,反正我不需要我手指上的那層皮。

  • There you go, everybody.

    就這樣了,各位。

  • Those are my Thank You Notes!

    這些是我的感謝卡。

If you guys wouldn't mind, I just like to write out my weekly Thank You Notes right now.

如果你們不介意的話,我想現在來寫我這禮拜的感謝卡。

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