Yeah that's right, I said it.

沒錯，我說出來了。

What are you gonna do about it, atheists?

怎麼樣啊，無神論者？

Christmas carols are an integral part of creating the Christmas atmosphere.

聖誕歌是製造聖誕氣氛必備的要素。

Okay, yes, I agree it's annoying when radio stations play Christmas music directly after Halloween.

好，對，我同意廣播節目在萬聖節後直接播聖誕歌曲很討厭。

But when December finally rolls around, and Michael Bublé emerges from his cave, magic fills the air.

但當十二月終於到來、 Michael Bublé 從他的洞穴出來的時候，空氣中充滿了魔法氣息。

And if you worked in retail, you probably listened to every single Christmas song ever created.

如果你在批發商賣場工作的話，你應該聽過世上每一首聖誕歌了。

After many hours of research, I have found that there's two types of Christmas music.

經過好幾個小時的研究，我發現聖誕歌有兩種。

On one side, you have songs about Santa Claus.

一種是關於聖誕老公公的歌。

And on the other side, you have songs about Jesus.

另一種，是關於耶穌的歌。

Isn't it funny that "Santa" is an anagram for "Satan"?

你不覺得「聖誕」聽起來像「撒旦」很好笑嗎？(Satan 是 Santa 的異序詞)

Just something to think about.

這是一件可以思考的事。

Christmas is easily the most sung-about holiday.

聖誕節是歌曲最多的節日。

Halloween isn't even in a close second.

連第二名萬聖節都差它很遠。

But it‘s also the most diverse genre of music out there.

歌曲種類最多元的也是聖誕節歌。

You have songs like "Away In a Manger" and "Silent Night" that can put anyone to sleep.

有像 Away In a Manger 和 Silent Night 這種聽了使人入眠的歌曲。

But under the same umbrella, you have "Santa Baby" and "Christmas Don't Be Late" by Alvin and the Chipmunks.

同樣也是聖誕歌還有像 Santa Baby 和花栗鼠唱的 Christmas Don't Be Late 的這種。

I love Christmas carols, okay?

我愛聖誕歌，好嗎？

It's one of the few good things left in this world that brings a smile to my face.

這是世界上少數能夠給我帶來笑容的東西了。

But, now I want to talk about the Christmas carols that don't make a lot of sense.

但是，我現在要來說說那些沒有道理的聖誕歌。

Starting with the song "Silent Night."

首先來看 Silent Night （平安夜）。

Okay, sure I've never given birth before.

的確，我沒有生過小孩。

But, I don't know if "All is calm, all is bright" is a good way to describe the process of childbirth.

但我不覺得「萬暗中，光華射」能夠拿來形容生小孩的過程。

I get that it was Jesus, and he's perfect, okay.

我懂耶穌是完美的，好的。

But he's still a baby!

但祂還是個小孩啊！

Mary still had to go into labor.

聖母瑪利亞還是得把祂生出來。

I don't know, I see all of these nativity scenes with Jesus being the center of attention and Mary just off to the side with everyone else.

我不懂，我看到每個耶穌誕生的畫面，耶穌都是全場的焦點，聖母瑪利亞跟其他人一起在旁邊。

But she just gave birth, you guys!

但她才剛生完小孩啊，各位！

Someone needs to build Mary her own manger to lay down in.

應該要有人幫聖母瑪利亞蓋一個馬槽讓她躺下來休息。

Also, "Sleep in heavenly peace?"

還有「靜享天賜安眠？」

Yeah, you're not gonna do that ever again.

對，我看你再也別想睡了。

So the song "Last Christmas" is about when Taylor Swift gave someone her heart for Christmas.

Last Christmas 這首歌是泰勒絲在聖誕節的時候把她的心給了某人。

But then on December 26th, they re-gifted it to someone else.

但在聖誕節的隔一天，他把心重新給了別人。

So then the very next year she gave it to someone special.

所以下一年，她把心給了另一個特別的人。

I don't know what the moral of that song is, but it could've been about any holiday.

我不知道這首歌的宗旨是什麼，但這件事可以在任何一個節日發生。

They just happen to break up the day after Christmas.

他們只是剛好在聖誕節隔一天分手而已。

Last Earth Day, I gave you my heart.

上一個地球日，我給了你我的心。

See, that still works!

你看，還是可以唱啊！

Walking In A Winter Wonderland?

關於 Walking In A Winter Wonderland.

I have a question.

我有一個問題。

Who is Parson Brown?

Parson Brown 是誰？

Why is the first thing he says when he comes to life: "Hey, uh, are you kids married?"

為什麼他說的第一句話是：「嘿，小孩們你們結婚了嗎？」

No, man!

沒有結婚，兄弟！

But you can do the job when your in town if you know what I'm saying.

但你如果來我們村莊的話你可以做點什麼，你懂的。

Oh, Parson is a priest.

噢，Parson 是一位牧師。

He was asking "Are you married, 'cause I'm a priest, I can marry you two."

他問那些小孩：「你們結婚沒？」，是因為：「我是牧師，我可以幫你們證婚。」

"That's my job, ah."

「這是我的工作嘛！」

"Carol of the Bells?"

Carol of the Bells 呢？

Now, I love this song, but honestly I don't see how this counts as Christmas music.

我愛這首歌，但我不懂為什麼這算是聖誕歌。

"Have a Holly Jolly Christmas?" What do you mean by "Kiss her once for me?"

Have a Holly Jolly Christmas 呢？ 你說「代替我親她一下」是什麼意思？

Are you cheating on me?

你出軌了嗎？

Baby Its Cold Outside.

Baby Its Cold Outside 呢？

Okay, now this one is extremely problematic.

好的，這首歌問題很大。

Why don't they just put a coat on?

為什麼不穿件外套就好了呢？

"All I want for Christmas is, My two front teeth, a hippopotamus, and... Yoooooooooooooou.

聖誕節我想要：我的兩顆門牙、一隻河馬和... 你～～～～～！

I would not wanna meet the person who made this Christmas list.

我不會想要認識寫這個願望清單的人。

Just saying.

我只是說說。

I'm Getting Nuttin' For Christmas?

I'm Getting Nuttin' For Christmas 呢？

How did I not know about this song until just now?

我怎麼現在才聽說這首歌？

Alright, how many Christmas songs can say that they got a movie based off of them?

好的，有多少啟發自聖誕歌的電影？

"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?" Yeah, yeah it's classic.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer ？對，它是個經典。

"Frosty the Snowman?" Mm-hmm, mm-hmm yeah good choice.

Frosty the Snowman ？ 嗯，沒錯，好選擇。

Uh, "The Little Drummer Boy" got a movie? Okay, fine, yeah I'll count that.

呃， The Little Drummer Boy 也有電影？好吧，那個也可以算進去。

I think you're all missing the real classical Christmas song.

我覺得你們忽略真正經典的聖誕歌了。

"Grandma got ran over by a reindeer!"

Grandma got ran over by a reindeer （歌名）！

In the song, it's canon that grandma died.

在這首歌裡面，奶奶真的死掉了。

But at least in the movie, grandma lived.

但至少在電影裡，奶奶有活下來。

She just got kidnapped by Santa because he was trying to hide the evidence.

她只是因為聖誕老公公試著湮滅證據才被綁架而已。

You know, no witnesses.

你知道的，不能有目擊者。

I hope they don't make a "Baby, It's Cold Outside" movie.

我希望他們不要做 Baby, It's Cold Outside 的電影。

Just an hour and a half of people not putting on jackets.

這樣只會是人們不穿外套一個半小時的時間。

Anyways, I have to keep this video extremely short if I wanna get it out by Christmas.

總之，如果要讓這支影片如期在聖誕節前上傳的話，我必須把它做得很簡短。

I hope you all have a good holiday.

祝你們佳節愉快。

And if you don't celebrate Christmas, you're missing out on some great carols, and questionable morals.

如果你不慶祝聖誕節的話，你會錯過很多很棒的聖誕歌和它們讓人疑惑的宗旨。

Thanks for watching, I'm gonna be taking some time off to celebrate Christmas with my family.

感謝你們收看，我會休息一陣子和我的家人過聖誕節。

Remember to buy that merch, and as always, wear your seatbelt.

記得要買我的周邊商品，然後老話一句，記得繫安全帶。