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  • - [Narrator] In order to maintain attraction with a girl

  • or maintain attraction in a relationship you have to.

  • (gentle music)

  • What you are about to learn in the next few minutes

  • is the biggest mistake that a guy can make

  • when it comes to attracting a girl.

  • It's not something you learn in school.

  • It's not something your friends and family will teach you.

  • It's something that most men will never understand.

  • In life, we're usually taught

  • that when we have something good,

  • it's important to do everything in our power

  • to hold onto that thing.

  • If we get a good job,

  • it's important to perform well in order to keep it.

  • When we get an expensive cellphone,

  • we buy a case to protect it.

  • If we get a scholarship to a university,

  • we're told to do everything in our power

  • in order to hold onto it.

  • So it only makes sense that if we meet an amazing girl

  • or get into an amazing relationship,

  • we should do all that we can in order to hold onto it.

  • Right?

  • Wrong.

  • This is the misunderstanding that so many men have

  • and I will explain what I mean by going over something

  • that I like to call the butterfly paradox.

  • A woman is like a butterfly that has landed into your hands.

  • It's beautiful, exotic, warm, friendly,

  • and it's amazing to look at.

  • You want to love it and appreciate it.

  • You might even want to curl up your fingers a little

  • to protect it from the wind.

  • The more you get to know the butterfly,

  • the more attached you become

  • and you might even start feeling like you need the butterfly

  • in order to live a happy life

  • and because of this feeling,

  • you will slowly start to squeeze hand tighter and tighter

  • because you don't want to lose it.

  • You want to do everything in your power

  • to prevent this beautiful butterfly from leaving your hand.

  • Because you love her so much,

  • you will start to squeeze your hand tighter and tighter

  • and you will start to suffocate the butterfly.

  • This squeezing will manifest itself through jealousy,

  • insecurity, rules you want to place on one another,

  • like you can't do this, you can't do that.

  • You'll start asking questions,

  • like where were you last weekend,

  • who were you hanging out with last night,

  • why didn't you text me?

  • When you do this, when you keep squeezing and squeezing,

  • what do you think is going to happen to the butterfly?

  • It will start to feel trapped, resentful, scared,

  • and she probably will want to leave you.

  • In order to maintain attraction with the girl

  • or maintain attraction in a relationship,

  • you have to become okay with the idea

  • that the butterfly could leave.

  • You have to understand that you do not own this butterfly.

  • This butterfly is its own creature.

  • It's choosing to stay with you.

  • You do not have the right to force

  • that butterfly to stay with you in your hand.

  • It's only when someone has the freedom to leave

  • is when they will want to stay with you.

  • If you don't give them this freedom,

  • it's only a matter of time before they fly away.

  • So you need to come from an abundance mindset.

  • You can't rely on a girl or anyone for that matter,

  • for all of your good emotions.

  • The moment you start to rely on her for your happiness

  • is the moment when you start to become very needy

  • and it's when you will start squeezing

  • your hand tighter and tighter.

  • Instead of projecting your insecurities on one another,

  • or placing rules and restrictions on one another,

  • you have to simply trust each other

  • and have faith that the other person

  • will the make the right decision

  • and if you don't have faith in your partner,

  • then that is something you need to talk about

  • and that's something that is probably a much bigger problem.

  • In order to come from this abundance mindset,

  • you need to have things going for you in your life

  • outside of the relationship

  • and these things could be something like a good career,

  • cool friends and family.

  • You might have awesome hobbies

  • and you should always be trying to improve yourself

  • and trying to become a better man.

  • This mindset is so attractive to a girl

  • and this mindset will keep the spark in your relationship

  • even if you've been dating each other

  • for about three or four years.

  • If you squeeze too hard,

  • you will suffocate and lose the butterfly.

  • If you enjoyed this video, please subscribe to the channel

  • and leave the video a like.

  • Thanks so much for watching

  • and I'll see you in the next one.

  • (gentle music)

- [Narrator] In order to maintain attraction with a girl

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