that if they're just nice, friendly, open-minded,

只要體貼、友善，而且心胸寬闊

they will find an amazing girlfriend

就可以和理想的對象交往

and live happily ever after.

從此過得幸福快樂

This is sometimes the case,

有時確實是這樣

but a lot of times, this is not really the reality.

但大多時候，這種事不會發生在現實生活

If you have this mindset,

如果你有這種想法的話

you may never find the girl of your dreams.

可能你一輩子都遇不到自己的夢中情人

So, how do you get a girlfriend?

所以，如何才能交到理想女友呢？

If you want an amazing girlfriend, there are two truths

如果你想要一個理想的女友，有兩件事

that you need to understand and eternalize.

是你必須了解並將它永遠放在心中

The first truth is that you need to learn

第一件事是，你必須學習

how to love yourself.

如何去愛自己

How can you expect someone else to love you unconditionally

你怎麼能奢望有人可以無條件地愛你

if you can't even love yourself?

當你連自已都不愛自己呢？

High quality women want a guy who's comfortable and happy

優秀的女性想找的是一位相處起來舒服並能夠獨立的男性

being in his own shoes.

穿著自己的鞋子

Stephen Covey talks about this concept

史蒂芬．柯維

in his book called 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

在他的著作《與成功有約》提到這一點

If you are codependent on your partner,

如果你和另一半是互累關係

as in you rely on her to feel complete

你需要依賴她才能生活

and you rely on her to get validation,

你需要她的認可

there is a good chance this relationship will not work out.

這種關係的很可能不會長久

And this is the reason

這也是現今

why a lot of relationships don't work out today.

很多男女關係維持不久的原因

The next level up from codependent

互累關係的下一階段是

is independent relationships.

獨立關係

This is where you say, okay, I love myself,

這是「好，我愛我自己

I don't have this need for someone else to complete me,

我不需要其他人才能生活

I can complete myself.

我可以獨自生活

I am 100% fine just being me.

我百分之百可以獨立」

If you are here, you are in a fantastic spot

如果你是這樣的話，代表你到達了很棒的階段

and you are already ahead of most other guys.

而且已經勝過大多數男性了

There is a third level

第三階段

that not many people are even aware of

也就是大多人都不會意識到的

called interdependence.

稱為相互依存關係

This is where two very independent people come together

這是兩個獨立的人

and they say, I love myself,

在一起並都表示：「我愛自己

but if we get together, if we strive together,

但如果我們在一起、一起進步

if we build this epic relationship over the next few months,

如果我們能建立這種美好的關係過了幾個月後

our lives will be even better.

各自的生活都會變得更好」

The sum is greater than its different parts.

一加一大於二

So how do you reach this level of co-dependence?

所以，要怎樣才能達到互相依存關係呢？

This is not an easy question.

這個問題不好回答

You have to figure this out on your own.

你必須獨自找出答案

You'd have to figure out

你必須知道

what it is you want out of your life

自己想要什麼

apart from having a girlfriend.

除了交到女朋友之外的事

For me personally, it's having good health,

我個人來說，我想要健康的身體

having amazing friendships, having strong family values,

良好的友誼，親密的家庭關係

and traveling around the world, and essentially,

到世界各地旅遊

just doing what I want on a day to day basis.

並且為日常所需的一切事物而努力

I don't need a person to complete me.

我不需要依靠別人才能生活

I don't need another person

我不需要其他人

for me to feel happy all the time.

讓我快樂

But again, you need to figure this out for yourself.

再次提醒，你必須獨自找出答案

And it cannot start with your girlfriend.

不能以得到女友為出發點思考

This is basically the mentality where you want to come from.

這基本上是用自己內心

My life is epic.

想要什麼來思考

But having this girl in my life will add even more value.

我的生活很美好，但如果跟她在一起，我的生活會更有價值

She can push me to take over the world,

她能激勵我達成目標

to dominate in life.

掌握自己的生活，但如果

But she's also there to kiss my wounds when I am hurt.

我受傷了，她可以安慰我

Here is another analogy.

想像一下，人生

I want you to view your life like a bowl of ice cream.

就像一碗冰淇淋

You have all of your favorite stuff in that bowl.

碗裡有你喜歡的一切

You got chocolate ice cream, vanilla ice cream,

裡面有巧克力冰淇淋、香草冰淇淋

strawberry ice cream, you have nuts,

草莓冰淇淋，裡面有堅果

Nutella, frosting, whatever, you have everything

能多益花生醬，之類的東西

that creates a fantastic bowl of ice cream.

碗裡的東西都是你的最愛

Having an amazing girlfriend

和理想的女友在一起

is almost like having whipped cream on top of the ice cream.

幾乎就像冰淇淋上淋了生奶油一樣

She does not complete your meal,

她不是那碗冰淇淋的主角

you do not need her to enjoy the meal,

你不需要她也可以享受冰淇淋

but having here there will just make every single bite

但如果有了她

taste that much sweeter.

冰淇淋嚐起來會更甜一些

The second truth that you need to understand

第二件事是，如果想要

is that in order to get a girlfriend,

交到理想女友

you need to come from a place of abundance.

你必須成為一個有內涵、知識充實的人

A quality girl does not want a guy who is very needy

優秀的女性不希望和一個

and desperate for a girlfriend.

為了交女朋友而追求自己的人在一起

Girls are very, very intelligent,

女生非常、非常聰明

and they can pick up a lot

她們可以從

on your subconscious communications,

你的肢體語言，發現很多東西

meaning they'll sense that neediness.

意思是，她們會觀察你的渴望程度

So in order to come from a place of abundance,

為了成為一位有內涵、知識充實的人

you need to be constantly working on yourself.

你必須不斷精進自己

You need to be trying to improve your intelligence

你要看很多書

by reading lots of books,

來充實知識

by watching lots of videos,

看很多部影片

you need to be meeting other cool people,

你要和其他有知識的人接觸

whether it's girls or guys,

不管男女生都可以

you need to be able to add value to that girl's life.

你必須能夠在另一半的生活中增添價值

And when I say value, I don't mean money.

我提到的價值，指的不是錢

Value can be honestly anything.

價值代表很多東西

It could be your personality,

價值可以是你的人格特質

you can make her laugh, you can make her feel comfortable,

你可以讓她開心，讓她感到溫暖

stable, secure, you don't judge her.

可靠、有安全感、不會批評她

Introducing your awesome social circle to her

並將她融入到自己美好的社交圈

could be adding value.

都是為她的生活增添價值

It could be anything.

任何事物都包括在內

Oftentimes, money is actually not the best way

大多時候，金錢並不是最好的方式

to add value to a girl

為女性增添價值

when it comes to building a long term relationship.

建立長久關係

If you understand these two principles,

如果你能了解這兩個原則

of loving yourself and coming from a place of abundance,

愛自己以及成為一位有內涵、知識充實的人

you are so much better off than most guys.

你就比其他男性更加成熟了

And the last thing that I will say

最後我想說的是

is you have to be patient.

你要有耐心

You have to take your time.

你要一步一步慢慢來

If you are constantly working on yourself,

如果你一直不斷精進自己的話

that amazing woman will enter your life

那位理想女性就會出現在你生命中

and it will change it for the better.

讓自己的人生變得更美好

Subscribe to become a masculine man.

訂閱，成為魅力男性

(slow music)

（音樂）