Welcome to the Refuge Program! Come on!

「歡迎來到庇護計畫！來吧！」

I'm Garrard Conley.

我是加拉德．康利。

I'm the author of "Boy Erased," now a major motion picture.

我是《被消除的男孩》的作者，現在是已上映的電影。

"Boy Erased" is the story of my going into conversion therapy after being outed to my parents, and the psychological torture that I endured while I was there.

《被消除的男孩》是我在向父母出櫃後被送去性傾向治療，還有在那所經歷心理上的折磨的故事。

You cannot be born gay!

沒有人生下來就是同性戀！

Also, it's the story, I think, of my mom who takes me out of therapy and saves my life, and also has to go on her own journey of acceptance.

還有，我想這是我母親把我從性傾向治療救出，並拯救我生命的故事，也包含她自己必須踏上學習接受的旅程。

I'm just here to try to stop conversion therapy because I wish I had done my homework before I took him, instead of after I took him, because it's a horrible thing and we need to get it stopped.

我就是要來停止性傾向治療的，因為我真的好希望在我送他去之前有先多了解這情況，這是一件很糟糕的事情，我們必須想辦法阻止它繼續發生。

Conversion therapy's taken many forms.

性傾向治療的種類多元。

It's been around since the 19th century, actually.

事實上，從十九世紀起便存在了。

In the 1950's and '60s, there was a hospital called St. Elizabeth's Hospital outside of Washington, D.C., they performed lobotomies, they performed electroshock therapy, they had people in straitjackets.

在 1950 和 1960 年代，在華盛頓特區外有間叫 St. Elizabeth's 的醫院，他們執行腦白質切除術、電擊療法，甚至還強制「病患」穿上約束衣。

At this moment, 36 states do not have bans on conversion therapy for minors.

在當時，36 個州都完全沒有任何禁令禁止對未成年者施行性傾向治療。

The bigger battle, however, is that any religious organization can perform conversion therapy and charge for it currently, no matter what state you're in.

然而，更大的挑戰是，現在不管身在哪一州，任何的宗教團體或組織都可以施行性傾向治療並收費。

I mean, I had it pretty easy growing up.

我成長的時候，日子過得還算不錯。

We moved to a place called Cherokee Village, Arkansas.

我們搬到一個叫徹羅其村的地方，在阿肯色州。

We'd always been very much a church family.

我們一直都是很虔誠的基督教家庭。

I'd always been told that being LGBTQ was not right and I don't think there were any exceptions to that.

一直都有人告訴我 LGBTQ 是不對的，而且我想這是沒有例外的。

I think that, as I grew older, and I started to understand myself a lot more and my sexuality, it became more obvious that I was on a crash course with these two ideologies.

我想隨著年紀的增長，我開始更了解我自己和我的性向，我發現以前在這兩方面所獲得的教育，很明顯都只是速成班 (只有表面的了解)。

Being married to a Baptist pastor and being raised the way I was, we believed exactly what the Bible said about homosexuality, and that's what I was taught, and I just didn't question it because I think you don't tend to question things until it hits your family or someone that you love.

做為一位美南浸信會牧師的妻子還有我所受的教育，我們一直都很相信聖經中對同性戀的所有看法，因為我一直都是被這樣教導的，除非這件事發生在你的家人或是你所愛的人身上，不然你根本不會去質疑。

I was actually in my first semester of college.

當時正是我進入大學的第一個學期。

Someone that I knew at the time raped me and he confessed to me that he'd also raped a 14-year-old boy.

一個我所認識的人強暴了我，並向我坦承他也曾強暴過一名 14 歲的男孩。

Right after he raped me, he confessed this to me.

在他剛強暴我後，他就向我坦承這件事。

And I told some friends what he'd done and he found out that I'd told that.

我就告訴一些朋友他對我做的事，然後他發現了我告訴別人事情的經過。

And so, as a preemptive move, he called my parents, called my mom specifically, because he really wanted to strike fear and it worked.

所以他就先發制人，打給我的父母，特別打給我媽，因為他想要造成恐慌，而他也成功了。

And when I came home, Dad took me into his bedroom and said, like, "Can you explain to me what's going on?"

當我回家時，我爸就把我叫到他房間問我：「你可以跟我解釋一下發生什麼事嗎？」

And so I told him, "I think I'm gay."

我就告訴他：「我覺得我是同性戀。」

First of all, we took him to the doctor and had his hormones checked.

首先，我們就帶他去找醫生，並檢查他的賀爾蒙值。

You know, that's how naive we were.

對，我們當時就是這麼天真。

Then we called the largest Southern Baptist church in Memphis and they said "Oh yes, you're so lucky. We have a unit right here in Memphis and it's called Love in Action, and they have an 84% cure rate."

然後我們打給全曼非斯最大的美南浸信會，他們就說：「喔，你們太幸運了！我們這裡有個叫做「行動的愛」的單位，而且他們的矯正率高達 84 %。」

And I'm thinking, wow, you know?

我那時候就想，天啊！你懂我說的那是什麼感覺嗎？

I didn't even know what conversion therapy was.

當時我甚至都還不知道性傾向治療到底是什麼。

We did one-on-one therapy sessions after I was outed for about six months.

在我出櫃後，我們就進行了大約六個月的一對一療程。

I went to a residential program.

我去了一個要住宿的療程計畫。

The main activity that we did was called a "Moral Inventory."

我們在那裡主要有一個叫做「道德清單」的活動。

And we were asked to write down every sexual fantasy or experience we'd ever had, and we would have to say it in front of everyone, like share that with everyone in the group.

我們被要求寫下自己曾經所有的性幻想跟經驗，而且我們必須在大家面前公布出來，跟小組裡所有的人分享。

And then after that, they would give me Bible verses to sort of combat those thoughts that I'd had.

結束後，他們就會給我聖經的經文，要幫助我擊退我腦中那些思想。

I knew that if I didn't do this, I would lose my family, my faith, perhaps, my community.

我知道如果我不照做，我就會失去我的家人、信仰，甚至是我的朋友圈。

By the end of the second week, I was asked to do this exercise asking me to imagine my father sitting there, and basically say that I hated him.

在第二個禮拜的尾聲時，我被要求做一個練習，就是要我想像我爸爸坐在前方，然後告訴他我恨他。

And I remember thinking to myself, these are Christians who are saying that in order to be cured, I have to hate someone not love someone.

我記得當時我心裡面就在想，這些基督徒竟然主張，為了要能得到治癒，我必須要恨人，而不是去愛。

And Christ is all about love.

但是基督的真諦是愛啊！

How much were you paying for this?

你為了這療程付了多少錢啊？

It was like $3,200.

好像是 3,200 美金吧。

-We also had...yeah. -For just a really short period of time.

-我們還...對... -而且只有很短的一段時間。

-And then we also had to stay in a hotel for two weeks, you know? -But his quote for you, for me going out for a year, for doing a year's of therapy, how much was that?

-而且你知道嗎，我們當時還為此住了兩週的旅館。 -但他當時跟你說的，要讓我去一年，做一年的療程要多少錢？

Well, it was like $21,000.

大約是 21,000 美金吧。

Now this may be the toughest, but most rewarding 12 days that many of you will ever face.

「這大概會是你們許多人生命中會面對到最艱難，但卻最值得的 12 天」

We later found out that all the leaders, I mean none of them had more than a high school education.

我們後來才發現所有的領袖，我是說所有人喔，沒有任何一個人的最高學歷是超過高中教育的。

Within a week, they started talking to me about, "Oh he's not following the rules. He's not doing his homework right. I think you need to put him in the three-month program and then you need to think about keeping him out of school next year."

在一週內，他們就開始說：「他不守規矩。他都沒好好做功課。我想你必須讓他參加維持三個月的計畫，而且要考慮一下明年是否要讓他休學。」

That was just too quick.

這一切都太快了。

It just got so phony to me.

我就感覺很假 (詐騙)。

And they were, like, trying to pressure me into signing him up, and he hadn't even been there a week yet.

而且他們就有點強迫我幫他報名，他也才到那裡不到一個禮拜的時間而已。

So, who's ready?

「來，誰準備好了呢？」

-Victor Sykes in the film is based off of John Smid, who ran Love in Action for many years. -22.

-電影中的維克多．賽克斯其實是根據約翰．斯米德所寫，他多年來執行「運行的愛」。 -22 年。

22 years.

22 年。

And after a while, I don't know if it's because of the negative press, or if it's because it got to his conscience, but he quit.

過沒多久，不知道是否是因為負面的新聞輿論，還是他良心發現，他就不幹了。

He stepped down.

他退出了這項活動。

And once he stepped down, he began a slow journey of realizing that it was not ever working, that he was selling a lie.

當他退下後，他就開始了解到這根本一開始就行不通，他所做的一切都是謊言。

And then, he married his now-husband, and lives in Paris, Texas making furniture.

之後他就跟他現在的老公結婚，住在德州一個叫巴黎的小城市，經營家具製造業。

It just did such damage to me as well, because of the guilt that I feel for taking him there.

這對我也造成嚴重的傷害，我心裡充滿了因為送他去性傾向治療的愧疚。

You do it because you think you're saving your child, and you love your child.

你採取這些行動是因為你覺得你在拯救你的孩子，是因為你愛他們。

I don't want other parents to have to go through the guilt that I've had to go through for 14 years.

我不希望其他家長也經歷我過去 14 年來所經歷的相同愧疚。

I think the greatest value for this film is its ability to show a road-map for people who are around LGBTQ youth to do better, and to act better, and to become better people through it.

我想這部電影最大的價值，是它能提供在 LGBTQ 青年身邊的人們一個指引圖，讓他們能做的更好，有更好的措施，也能變成更好的人。

And that's what I hope the movie does.

這是我希望這部電影能達成的目標。