*gasp*

I Must have them.

Oh baby, got my new kicks. I'm totally gonna be the source of envy amongst my friends, acquaintances and possibly strangers.

Woah, Woah, Woah. Getting a little too close there. bUb

2 to 3 meter radius around me, please, thank you

Shh, Shh! It's okay little ones, no one will harm you, not while I'm around.

Hey, Jake. Pass it here

Alright, man. If you don't catch this, i get to keep your dog, *weird laughter*

*throw*

*ded*

Oh shoot!

*talks nervously* Oh, bro. I'm so sorry, man. i didn't see you there. i was trying to catch the...

Man I'm so sorry!

Ohhhh!

Bro, are you okay?

*cri*

It'll be alright, cause daddy is here.

The bad man is gone, now *more cri*

*cri some more*

Sweet!

*weird laughter*

I knew i should've ubered

*cri even more*

Don't think about it. Don't think about it. Don't think about it, Don't think about it. Don't, no, don't. Absolutely not. Don't think about it. Don't think about it!

*shoes talking* You have failed us father! You said you would protect us!

You said we we're safe!

Why are we in pain?

WhYYyYYy

No... No!

eeeeeeeEEEEE...AAAAAAAAAA

*sigh*

Oh, well. They were bound to get dirty anyway. I can only clean them so many times

I'm sure they still look fine from a distance!

Wow, hey. Nice shoes, man.

Thank you!

Uh... Wait hang on.

*inspects shoes*

*tisk tisk*

Na, na, na, na, na.

This...

This won't do!

This is unacceptable. I, withdraw my statement. I apologize.

Good day.

*fail*

*sad music*

My...

My legacy