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  • Welcome to "The late show," ladies and gentlemen.

    先生女士,歡迎來到「晚間秀」

  • I'm your host Stephen Colbert.

    我是你的主持人史蒂芬·柯貝爾

  • ( cheers and applause ) The election was just two days ago,

    (歡呼和掌聲) 選舉剛在兩天前結束

  • but it feels like five years ago.

    但已經感覺像五年前這麼久

  • ( laughter ) what's a Beto?

    (笑聲) 貝托是什麼?(Beto 指一名美國眾議院議員)

  • Was that a candy bar or something?

    是個糖果條還是什麼嗎?

  • And in the last 48 hours Donald Trump has put some points on the board.

    在過去 48 小時內川普已經讓我們清楚認識到幾件事

  • For instance he's banned a journalist.

    例如,他禁了一名記者

  • That's very strongman.

    非常有威脅性的人物

  • I'm not saying he's kim jong un. He's kim jong-ish.

    我不是在說他是金正恩。他是「有點像」金正恩

  • ( laughter ) Here's what happened: yesterday,

    (笑聲) 到底發生什麼事:昨日

  • at a White House press tantrum, the president and CNN's Jim Acosta

    在一場白宮記者會耍脾氣,總統跟 CNN 的吉姆·阿科斯塔

  • got into it okay, until an intern was dispatched:

    開始起爭執,直到一位實習生被派過去:

  • do you think that you demonized immigrants?

    你覺得你有沒有妖魔化移民?

  • No, not at all.

    不,一點也沒有

  • I want them, I want them to come into the country but they have to come in legally.

    我想要、我想要他們進入這個國家,但他們要合法的進來

  • They're hundreds and hundreds of miles away.

    他們在好幾萬英里遠

  • That's not an invasion.

    那不適一場入侵

  • Honestly, I think you should let me run the country

    老實說,我覺得你應該讓我主導這個國家

  • You run CNN, and if you did it well, your ratings would be much better.

    你去管 CNN,如果你管得好,你的評分也會好很多

  • If I may ask one other question, Mr. President, If I may ask one other question

    能否讓我問另一個問題,總統先生,能讓我問另一個問題

  • - Are you worried a... - That's enough!

    - 您在擔心... - 夠了!

  • - That's enough! - Mr. President, I'm just gonna ask one other question...the other folks

    - 夠了! - 總統先生,我只要在問您一個問題...其他人

  • Pardon me, ma'am.

    抱歉,小姐

  • Stephen: that's got to be the worst intern assignment.

    史蒂芬:那真是最糟的時犧牲工作了

  • ( laughter ) "Okay, ahh, guys gather round. Alan, you're in charge of

    (笑聲) 「好的,呃,大家靠過來。艾倫,你今天負責

  • coffee runs today, Brad, you're in charge of making copies, and

    端咖啡給大家,布萊德,你負責印東西,然後

  • Cathie, you'll be destroying the first amendment. Okay.

    凱西,你負責毀掉美國憲法第一修正案,可以嗎?(指剝奪言論自由、侵犯新聞自由等)

  • ( laughter ) Remember, it's for college credit. For College credit, okay?

    (笑聲) 記得,這是為了大學學分。為了大學學分,好嗎?

  • Let's go get them.

    讓我們一起拿下他們。

  • ( cheers and applause ) then last night, the White House

    (歡呼和掌聲) 然後昨晚,白宮

  • revoked Jim Acosta's press pass.

    撤回吉姆·阿科斯塔記者通行證

  • Oh no!

    喔不!

  • Now how will he "Not" get answers to his questions!

    現在他將是如何的得「不」到問題的回答!

  • ( laughter ) a lot of people are outraged about this, very upset

    (笑聲) 許多人都對這件事很生氣,非常沮喪

  • But press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, she defended the

    但是白宮新聞秘書莎拉·桑德斯,她為這個決定辯護

  • Decision saying, "President Trump believes in a free press

    並說:「川普總統相信媒體自由

  • and expects and welcomes tough

    也期待和歡迎針對他或他的行政團隊

  • questions of him and his administration.

    的困難問題

  • We will, however, never tolerate a reporter placing his hands

    然而,我們永遠不會忍受一名記者將他的手放在

  • on a young woman just trying to do her job as a white house

    一位年輕女性上,她只是要做自己身為白宮實習生

  • Intern."

    的工作而已。」

  • And she included this video: the intern reaches for the mic

    他還包含了這部影片:實習生將手伸向麥克風

  • And, there it goes, and hi-ya!

    然後,來了,唉呀!

  • ( laughter ) that is terrible, or it would be,

    (笑聲) 那真的很可怕,或會變得很可怕

  • If it weren't "Fake news."

    如果它不是「假新聞」的話

  • Because "Sarah Sanders tweeted a doctored video."

    因為「莎拉·桑德斯推特的是一部爨改過的影片。」

  • We should've known, we should have known because in the same video, Trump looked

    我們早該知道的,我們早該知道的,因為同一部影片中,川普看起來

  • Like this.

    像這樣

  • ( laughter ) looking good.

    (笑聲) 看起來不錯喔!

  • And where did the white house get that doctored video?

    而白宮是在哪裡得到那部影片的呢?

  • It appears to have originated with far-right conspiracy site

    看起來似乎是從極右派的陰謀網

  • "InfoWars."

    「資訊戰爭」

  • ( booing ) now, if anyone out there is not familiar with

    (噓聲) 現在,如果有誰不熟悉什麼是

  • InfoWars, congratulations, can we switch brains?

    資訊戰爭網,恭喜你,我們可以交換腦袋嗎?

  • ( laughter ) because infowars is a far right website

    (笑聲) 因為資訊戰爭網是一個極右派網站

  • Founded by TV talk show host and hot dog, you forgot to pierce

    由電視脫口秀主詞人所成立,而且你看起來像忘了在微波前

  • before microwaving, Alex Jones.

    先插洞的熱狗,艾力克斯·瓊斯

  • ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause )

    (笑聲) (歡呼和掌聲)

  • So that's Sanders' reliable source.

    所以那就是桑德斯的可靠來源

  • "CNN is fake news, and to prove it, here's a video from a

    「 CNN 是假新聞,為了證明這點,這是從一個

  • reputable news source that believes the government is

    受人尊敬的新聞來源的來的影片,它相信政府正在

  • putting plastic liners in juice boxes to turn our sons into

    果汁包裝盒內放入塑膠內襯,讓我們的而自變成

  • Gay frogs."

    同性戀的青蛙。」

  • ( laughter ) and the fact that the White

    (笑聲) 並且白宮新聞秘書

  • House press secretary is promoting this doctored video

    在傳播這經竄改過的影片

  • is reprehensible, and grounds for dismissal.

    這是應該受譴責的,且可構成免職的理由

  • Or as they call it in the Trump administration, "Thursday."

    又或者在川普的行政團隊中,稱之為「星期四」

  • ( laughter ) It's going to be hard to trust; it's gonna be hard after this, now that we know it is doctored's

    (笑聲) 我們將會很難相信 ; 經過這件事後,我們將會很難相信他們,在我們知道影片是經竄改過的後

  • It's gonna be hard to trust all the other footage they've released like: April Ryan

    我們將很難相信所有他們所發佈的影片,像是:阿普里爾·萊恩

  • shooting flames out of her mouth, and Jake Tapper killing

    從她的最中噴射火焰,和傑克·塔柏爾殺死

  • Han Solo!

    韓·索羅!

  • How could you, Jake!

    你怎麼可以這樣,傑克!

  • He was your father!

    他是你的爸爸呀!

Welcome to "The late show," ladies and gentlemen.

先生女士,歡迎來到「晚間秀」

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